Tuesday, 7 October 2008

britain's phoney war: st gord and the boys who cried gulf

the uk government about to launch another war against yet another intangible adversary

no, not the mythical al qaeda this time around, but the credit crunch, a real fucking monster by all accounts, eats money or something - according, that is, to our financial better-offs, the banks, who reckon its been rampant in their vaults and noshed half the country's economy...so they say

can't we just set a bloody big rat-trap and use gordon brown as bait?

britain's motto seems to be: if there ain't an enemy, invent one

and have him pose quixotically against the backdrop of an existential economic nightmare

first fuck off as many foreigners as possible to make the plot sound plausible though

i know i shouldn't tell you the ending, but i'm sure you've guessed already

bin laden did it

the gold's all bunked under some mountain in afghanistan

that's why we're out there wasting men women and kiddiwinks by the villageful

you know it makes sense


we've been conveniently fabricating foes to satisfy our strategic ambition for a century or so

when the real deal arrives on our doorstep, it's invisible, invincible and insatiable

go on gordon the gladiator, take your social safety net and a trident missile

see if you can do him

where's st fucking george when you need him?

1 comment:

buggernought said...

Guido Fawkes Tuesday Oct 6 12.01pm

Post: PLP Changes Bets

The collapse of the Miliband putsch and reports from the PLP that there is to be an "end to hostilities" has made Guido shift his bets. Guido is now backing a May 2010 general election date with the Labour Party led by Gordon Brown.

Not if he crosses the road in front of my Scania, Guido