so he went to a local comp...what does he want?a fucking medal?

ed miliband's just another flunky of the evil elite which exploits life on earth for its own nepotistic and nefarious ends, but no-one dares say so...it seems that children of holocaust survivors are somehow silently conferred a mystical aura of criticism-rebuffing requisite reverence which, contrarily, is not bestowed upon those whose predecessors rode out the ravages of such horror as produced by the transatlantic slave-trade and colonialism; like the inheritance of inordinate family wealth, this manner of automatic privilege is prone to breeding a conceited culture of condescension towards those who are not chosen to stand in the magic circle of sophisticated society - and in the case of ed miliband, his contempt for the citizens of less prosperous civilizations is painfully apparent in his blithe support for acts of aggressive military intervention aimed at controlling, ultimately unto annihilation, an unhappy uppity underclass, arbitrarily manufactured by the dictates of his wonderfuelled world.

clipped words

oh dearie me, those leftie lounge-lizards over on the slag don't like it up 'em... i watched, in horror, as the following clarifying observation, made by ed bulliband, in reply to carys' comment on the cameron doomed (2): the lies and pernicious times of rupert murdoch thread, was summarily and callously deleted:

clegg? no, no, no...we're not jumping on that clapped-out old wheel-challenged wagon - in fact, our (not so new) strategy will comprise the head-butting of immigrants (until they see sense and return to their countries of origin) and a general comfy comfy supportive approach to the present government's neo-colonialist outrages, whether they be committed in west africa, east africa, the middle east or boris' backyard fiefdom, inner london...

...ultimately smoothing the grubby electoral ground for an historic labour coalition with errr...ukip, dear.

stop press

the following enlightening observation made by the (botched) resurrection of adolf - an nwo production, in reply to simoncz's comment on the slag's cameron doomed (2): the lies and pernicious times of rupert murdoch thread, was conveniently erased from ward history:

"lord only knows how you calculate the value of a cured person which must be why it isn’t done.
but the benefit tends to get left out of the conversation."

i know, i know - if only our government could get a grasp of what realsocialismus all about ist; we used to have a spitze nationalistische health service in deutschland, but tragicallisch, was mein rescuing ambulanze driver geshotten by an over-zealous ss officier who was only following of ze orders relating to 'urbanische speed limitatzions' (or as we simply say in the mother-tongulation, die geschwindigkeitsbegrenzung) before he could to get me to our nice spik-spanking, world-beatings brains surgery theater, which was buried in 'nem bunker located unter den linten trees.

stop stop press

the following revelation made by pierre bowlerdash, in reply to braindirt's comment on the slag's cameron doomed (2): the lies and pernicious times of rupert murdoch thread, was ignorantly incinerated and exorcized:

oh god yes...it's the same guy init? it all fits in...sporadic attendance in the house of commons, pops over between inauguration ceremonies to show his face...betya he becomes prime minister shortly after obama leaves office...

apparently he's not 'black' but 'post-racial'...gee, he must fit into the tory party like a sore box-tick...every time he enters conservative central headquarters the scene must resemble a trailer for stanley kubrick's 2001: a spaceman arriving back on earth from 4000 years in the future, hailed by the jibber-jabbering screeching of a bunch of primordial effing apes.

write to rant

spark up! has always stood firm as an unreserved proponent of freedom of expression (albeit largely for my own personal practition) and this most probably accounts for the frustrating fact that this blog has never made a single fucking penny - nevertheless, some bright tit in the editorial department has come up with the ripping ruse of giving the most downtrodden, vulnerable and oppressed in our society the opportunity to reply to establishment slurs and smear-campaigns...and then charging the poor blighters up for the privilege of accessing the hugely intellectual and influential spark up! audience...

...so without further ado, let me introduce our very first vict...sorry i mean guest...and the chap without a happy lot who's going to fill tonight's slot is the well-fitted-up former secretary of state for international despoilment, government chief blip, and current member of parliament for scrotum collarfield, mr randy "gnasher" switchell:

oh jolly good, may one commence wanting* now mr spark up? ok, ya, here goes...

well, the events in question took place on the evening of the 19th september last year...you see, after a hard day's graft whipping the old boys into anti-social action, i left my orifice in the palace of promise-and-political-perfection, as per normal...and had just perchanced to mount my rather prim-and-poofy old cambridge college bike, whom i affectionately call 'dave'...when i said to dave: "dave, my dear, do you wish to leave the palace of promise-and-political-perfection via the big-wide-black-easy-peasy main square gate or via the tight-little-pain-in-the-arse-iggerly-fidderly footmen's rectangular side-gate"...and, blinking up at me with those incredulously lashful lewd lamps of his, dave replied: "oh randy darling, do let's go through the big-wide-black-easy-peasy main square gate to which we are so arrogantly and aloofly accustomed...i do so love going through the big-wide-black-easy-peasy main square gate, it makes me feel so mmm...you know...very important...and on-tops, i don't want you getting-off prematurely before we reach our snuggly-buggly home-sweet-home-from-home"...and hence, not wishing to disappoint dave by slipping out of the palace of promise-and-political-perfection via the tight-little-pain-in-the-arse-iggerly-fidderly footmen's rectangular side-gate and then getting-off prematurely in the prurient presence of members of the voting public, i duly proceeded, perched astride dave, in an east-south-easterly direction towards well-wicked whitehaul and the wild-willie-wanton-wonderland of do-as-one-damn-well-pleases...now, standing before the big-wide-black-easy-peasy main square gate (and freedom to do all those naughty nasty nymphotic things we so wanted to) stood the law...and so i boldy approached and said to the law: "please oh please may dearest dave and i leave the palace of promise-and-political-perfection via the big-wide-black-easy-peasy main square gate to which we are both so arrogantly and aloofly accustomed"...and the law (whose name began with a 'b' and whose bonce was amply appointed with brazen beruffled blond hair and perniciously punctuated with a brace of beady blue button-like eyes) said unto me "no, not now, buzz orff and use the bleedin' pleb-gate like every-bugger-else you bloody barefaced bourgeois bumboy and watch you don't ride that crappy-creaking-old-clapped-out contraption on the pavement, or i'll have you banged-up in belgravia beastall before you can say 'nick robinson'"...

...good grief, as you can no doubt imagine, i was flummoxed, flabbergasted and flaming-well flipped...and, mindful of the irreversible emotional damage which could have been visited upon dave's tender feelings, i set most assiduously to verbally accosting the law in somewhat uncertain but nonetheless copiously colourful terms...and, as luck would have it, the law did indeed threaten to apprehend me upon that very specifical spot, and was on the brimming brink of impounding my dearest darling dave in the deep-dark-dank shed of no-electoral-return, when i began pleading for judicial clemency so profusely, politely and with such persistent plaintive, nay boot-slobbering-and-grovelling, pathos that the law, instead, produced from his bulging breeches-pocket an enormous great lead-pencil, with which he thankfully did not batter me, but pointedly and industriously began to inscribe, upon a long-long-long strong scroll of standard-issue civil-service lavatory-paper, the exact tempestuous tirade of unexpurgated excited expletives which had recently spewed so reflexively and incriminatingly from my unwittingly licentious lips...and then it did happen...the grievous gravity of the matter-in-hand exploded across the horizon of my consciousness, flashing and crashing like a sterilizing thunderbolt through the unrevealed future of my costly pre-washed curriculum vitae...and before i even became aware of the action, my fingers were tip-tip-tapping out a desperate distress-tune on a blue-rinsed blackberry, hastily yet somehow instinctively making conservative arrangements for an unmarked brown van to pull up smartish outside the exclusive private pimlico residence of saint bernard shagun-ho, in order to discreetly deliver a suitcase jammed full of untraceable fifty-note bills accompanied by the massed bare-boobies of the brazilian women's rugby union squad, all tastefully topped-off with a bursting bin-liner of finest white colombian coco...and i truly believe that this assorted box of sweeties did do the desired trick...for the law, as if deferring to an unseen providential power from above, stayed his enormous great big leaden pencil and abruptly employed the rubber adorning its elevated extremity to erase the jaw-dropping job-stopping 'p'-word, which i had so rawly and recklessly ejaculated...charitably changing it from a crude farmyard four-letter form...to a five-letter latin noun abbreviated in the plural...proving beyond any unreasonable doubt that the official record of the accidental ad-hoc meeting was in truth of fact altered by the law...and that, equipped with a fully-loaded classical education, our own profoundly diplomatic protection group is a force with which to be reckoned around the world...

...ergo, forthwith and without additional ceremony, whilst dave was being duly relieved of his puny pneumatic pump, i was routinely frisked then fleeced of my wallet, cash, cards and spanking-new phone...and feeling owed some manner of salutary explanation following this cruel, yet oddly cathartic episode, i turned to the law and enquired: "everyone desires to escape to well-wicked whitehaul and the wild-willie-wanton-wonderland of do-as-one-damn-well-pleases, so how is it that in all these years no-one else has demanded to exit this way?" the law saw that i was dying to get out of the palace of promise-and-political-perfection, and, to afford me as brief an answer as was professionally possible bawled: "no-one else insists on leaving through here, since this gate was designed especially for you two. i’m now going to open it - so fuck off you pair of batty bent brainless bastards and don't come back until the british people have balloted to remove your butts, belongings and berkshire bullshit, you clueless class-corrupted conniving cunts"...

...and accordingly, i hurried straight home to oil poor dave's rusty rear sprocket.

[*roughly translated from the now largely obscure eaton-cheese dialect, this means 'ranting' - for ease of reading, the remainder of this passage has been pre-interpreted by the spark up! editorial staff.]

angel of death (uk) inc

as if the united kingdom didn't have enough enemies already, our neo-colonialist government has launched yet another mission in africa to create a few more for us...

yes, that's right, instead of concentrating on lowering taxation and promoting the growth of our homegrown manufacturing industry, dave "the jackdaw" cameron has decided to invest in the malignant manufacture of a spot of terrorism over in mali - namely, by engaging in a joint venture with french president, mad frankie holocaust, to clear the sahara desert of hotheads whom france, britain and the cia have riled-up to rebellion in the first place (primarily through the cynical western backing of oppressive régimes in the wider region); obviously there are bound to be lucrative multi-national contracts for extracting oil, gas or other (rare) mineral resources at the bottom line of this immoral intervention in local african business - if it were just about sand, we could simply have invaded the normandy beaches again.

ok, so no-one's trying to pretend that the al-qaeda organization in the islamic maghreb (essentially a group in exile opposing the algerian government, who have now taken control of the malian insurrection) are a kind and cuddly lot, but in the world of quantum power-politics, there exists a hard-and-fast empirical constant which states that revolutionaries are only ever as bad as the dictators who pissed them off to start with; like al-shabaab, in somalia, aqim were practically dormant as a military force around 2005, however, as was the tragic case in somalia, wholly unnecessary western interference (as exemplified by the united states' flintlock special-forces exercizes) and alleged false-flag kidnapping of european aid-workers by shadowy satellite factions has served to radicalize and smear the group beyond all recognition - leaving one to speculate as to whether the cia played a rôle in kindling this conflict and, in turn, to doubt the purported humanitarian motivation behind american, french and british involvement in the entire west african arena.

after all, when it suits western nations (as evident in libya, syria and the ivory coast), they are quite happy to enlist the support of al qaeda and other islamist factions in their dubious quest to overthrow despots deemed a danger to their own people and the world in general, yet if al qaeda happens to fall-out on the other side of the west-versus-anti-west equation, it is demonized mercilessly.

western policy towards al qaeda seems to be guided by political convenience rather than by any consistent framework of principle - and this therefore begs the following fundamental questions: what really is al qaeda? who actually controls it? what are its exact aims? and (most importantly) does it truly function as a coherent and integrated international organization outside the malicious machiavellian minds of our malevolent western politicians?


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if you found the above piece of interest, please read the following related spark up! blogposts:

sarkozy brands all true frogophobic englishmen as al qaeda

western intervention in somalia causes carnage across africa