Friday, 17 July 2009

jocelyn jee esien bombs for obama

when recently reading stanislav on obama's humourless delivery of ordnance and worldly war-mongering words, i was rudely reminded of one of his british born girl-guards, jocelyn esien, who is, by-and-large, equally witless wotless and dependent on other people's material - which she slyly sub-sources and shamelessly passes off as her own original work. but leaving aside the murky state of miss esien's professional ethicity (rumours about which have surely led to her credentials as a writer coming under question and her little miss jocelyn series sliding soundlessly from bbc schedules), i would prefer to concentrate my ire on more serious affairs - jocelyn esien's emotional support for the casual killer of humanity, families and children, president barack obama, the american warhead in afghanistan, and first black man to make a complete cunt of himself in the white house. jocelyn esien ('jos jee' to her friends) is a remarkable actress with a veritable multiplication of personalities stashed in her walkabout wardrobe, yet she totally miscalculated when attempting to combine the role of celebrity political activist with conscious community support comedienne - this was just one face too many, i'm afraid. you see miss esien wants to preen like a queen in her celebrity sheen whilst licking the sweet splash of obalma glamour off her brazen body before it has even shied from trickling down the crack in her pertinently bare ass - she wants to pose uncriticized against the christylized gun-crime poster whilst bigging-up the macho gangster-man-murderer mr barack hussein obama. the seeping gang-blood of youth is really only a race-paint-prop for her carefully-staged career and her bank-rôle, playing a delinquently dark-hearted duo with the black-comedian-in-residence in the oval office, is no damn good example to impress on any succeeding ghetto generation - these two guys are actors, not models...and as the president continues to mercifully blast the unbleached brains out of young muslim girls who would otherwise have had to suffer a cruel lease of life without the benefit of a dog-standard democratic education, the hypocritical highlights of stars such as jocelyn jee esien will fade-to-dusk and be set to rest, fittingly, in the west wings of their horrific theatre of self-service. her epitaph: a latter-day leni riefenstahl, but not quite so funny. don't get me wrong, when time is inevitably called, i don't wish to see this bitter-barking talent put up against the wall and mown-down along with her 'muse', president obama, and accompliced terrorists mr anthony blair, prime minister gordon brown, and mr george w bush (one should make allowances for dozy feminists like miss esien), no, if justice is properly served, she will find herself in a dim dingy cell, her big gob locked-down for 24-hours-a-day between the concert-pitched thighs of a certain ms condoleeza rice, paying customary lip-service - although i fear she might well enjoy the strictures of this sanction just a little bit too can but dream...for the meantime, i don't expect jocelyn esien to spew the obamatic bile of any projectile presidential satire our way anytime soon - the best we can hope for is probably some lame-gummed sketch about the white hand not knowing who the black one is feeling up...although this is a great pity as she could get away with (illegitimately harvested) lines of a more assassinatory nature on the fringe-boards. what we definitely can't expect is a true exposition of united states foreign policy - for example, the freewheeling vision of a perma-grin president obama bouncing an afghan baby's head off george bush's chest, dribbling it through hillary clinton's splayed legs, and slam-dunking it into osama bin laden's upturned throat...can we?


it appears that the hackney post are conniving with jocelyn jee esien in an attempt to airbrush her infamous obama quote from history - so here it is for posterity:

Despite this foray into femininity, Esien credits her comedy career to a series of male muses: Jerry Lewis, Steve Martin, Jim Carrey, Eddie Murphy, and one Barack Obama. “President Obama,” she corrects herself quickly. “I feel disrespectful when I say Barack. He has really, really, really inspired me. I’m pretending he’s my prime minister but he lives in another country.”


a former fan said...

first guido fawkes' gives a sickening boost to the israelis when they churned up gaza, now right-on comic jocelyn esien gets jiggy with a pro-israeli member of the united states political elite - my world's turned upside-fucking-down. whatever happened to the alternative political satire scene?

since they all appear to be in the same gunboat, i wonder who gets first suck of the presidential cock? jocelyn or paul?

spark up said...


yes ff, to my simple mind, it's about time a few groupies amongst the obaman illuminati and intelligentsia stopped licking the glistening sweat off the presidential arse and began giving the big man a good old-fashioned bollocking - after all, without the glamour what is he?

the administration said... really gave my girl a rare old spanking.

spark up said...


i have to admit she really inspires me.

in the hackney post article she is quoted as saying that she resides dans un certain quartier de londres occidentale, “but not the posh bit” - fuck me, the acacia-lined avenues would be instantly sprouting "for sale" signs if she did move up the road. the woman's an absolute menace. she's like an upside-down mrs bucket. only someone deeply ashamed of their middle-class roots could possibly strain to point out clap-trap like that. how awfully inversely pretentious.

the peroxide avenger said...

i wonder whether tameka empson and ninia benjamin, jocelyn esien's mates from the 3 non-blondes tv show, are equally politically dumb?

spark up said...


i genuinely hope not, pa, i have admired all these women as artists, but to be brutally honest, i haven't an inkling about the state of their political mindset vis-à-vis obama's kiddy-liquidating ventures in afghanistan.

however, a disappointingly dense fug of naiveté appears to have crept into the obama-shuttered-minds of other young intellectuals on the london spoken-word scene - again, performers for whom i have had the highest respect:

zena edwards, who finds this megalomaniac, obama, a "huge inspiration"

and kat francois, who hosted a celebration of the presidential inauguration of barack obama with the theatre royal stratford east

admittedly these favourable expressions were made in the honeymoon period soon after the election, but surely the onus is on politically-orientated celebs to put the record straight now that obama has:

1. shrunk from closing down guantanamo bay detention centre

2. declined to investigate the stink of torture which still lingers in his luxurious white house accommodation like a noxious fart from the bush years

3. doubled the troops in afghanistan and pushed the war into pakistan with a nauseous enthusiasm

into how many mass-graves must afghan children and their mothers be shovelled before these influencial poets throw up the right words? what a waste.