Tuesday 15 July 2014

dairy-boy dave does downing street



committed as ever to keeping you fully abreast of all the latest developments in the westminster paddock, spark up! strives at all times, through the good orifices of our dedicated team of agricultural correspondents, to keep its fictional finger on the pulsing penis of british politics - a prominent member otherwise known as the prime minister...

...and today, via a live conservative cattle-feed, we bring you instant updates of the milky-bar stud's snapshot five-finger government shuffle, as he sets about milking britain dry:

  • wild willy hague is put out to pasture pending release of nhs funds by jeremy blunt-scalpel for emergency gender-appropriate implant procedures - internal sources report that in influential establishment circles the former foreign secretary was deemed to be neither milkman nor milkmaid and, having failed adequately to demonstrate his status as a real man or real woman, ultimately fell between two toxic tory toadstools, namely michael fulloan and phillip harmonger
  • esthetick mcvieh is invited to sit in cabinet to make-up employment numbers, make-over the corpse of the conservative party, and make-out she gives a flying flipsided-fuck about the plight of hard-working women in the uk who do not belong to her cosmeticized class of all the corruptions - in fact, interviewed as one of the budding new cia-vetted implants in the hairy old hierarchical herd, she provided the following revealing insights into farm-boss, dairy dave dachshund's 'milk-round' selection process:
    "oh ya, the induction was all rather short-and-sweet, really...dave likes to do it all the old-fashioned way...by hand, you know...it was basically a complex political aptitude test which consisted in him asking me, quite charmingly actually, whether i was a woman...a question which i'm pleased to declare i answered correctly, in the affirmative, of course...then he simply said, 'well get your tits out and you're in darling', and having duly confirmed my qualifications, that was just about that i think...except for the ceremonial appointment to cabinet...which he hastily completed by getting some sort of silly little pink organic cattle-prod out from beneath his desk, where i suppose he'd been hiding the thing away, cheeky boy...and then tapping me lightly on the tip of each tonsil with it, prior to serving me a celebratory vanilla milkshake, in the goblet...ohhh how super it all was, what a great victory for women's rights this has been, what a great day for the conservative party...i'm simply over the moon...and by-the-way, i have to mention this...the pm's so understanding about women's issues too...you see, by the end of the interview, i'd become so nervous i left a big sloppy-wet turd-cake all over the sofa...but d'you know what?  to his eternal credit, the guy didn't even blink...he just looked-over and re-instated it as health secretary...what a leader"
  • michael "marigold" glove, having made a dog's dinner of national schooling, is to be fed to state pupils in the form of reconstituted porkmeat as part of a drive to teach under-informed british youngsters about the golden-days of 1950s education
  • ken "hush-up" clarke-to-the-secret-torture-court, despite boasting an adequate boobsize to remain in post, is put straight out to grass for being a grouchy old sexist ox
  • diane abloatt is widely believed to have shown an interest in a position, but after extensive measurement and re-measurement with 'outsize' calipers and imperial rulers, it was found her arse didn't fit

41 comments:

lady laaardidah of lordship road said...

that's so not true - he said i was the wrong colour cow...

the milky-bar stud said...

i refute that allegation totally...i specifically said that you're "the wrong kinda cow for the current government" ie. a socialist one...

lady laaardidah of lordship road said...

i challenge you...

show me one black cow in your cabinet...?

raciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiist

the milky-bar stud said...

errrr...

helen pot-plant said...

@lady laaardidah

thanks sis...solidarity

prof pinkwinkel brainstove iii said...

from forensic analysis of the photos and news-coverage, i should judge that, at the next general election, mr cameron is deliberately angling for votes from the constituency of blonde blue-eyed big-bosomed bimbos - and i confidently predict that women with smaller-sized titties and larger brains will henceforth be supporting the labour party...

good grief

katie kwik-fit said...

wow, i'd better get myself down the garage for a supersize re-fit...

...rather not pay the full price tho'...

...now who's doing a promotion at the moment...?

...nick? dave...? ed...? nige...?

spark up said...

i'm refusing to comment on the war in gaza - essentially, i'm pig-sick of self-righteous lefties attempting to blackmail me emotionally into joining-in the usual jew-bashing-fest which predictably manifests itself at such horrible moments in the unrelentingly vicious history of the palestinian-israeli relationship...see, it's the cool thing to do, apparently, and you just have to do it to keep up with the jemimas and other trendy left-wing political activists...coz it's de rigueur and part of the protocool and a rule of the club which i never chose to enter anyway...however, the people who're trying to manipulate my views are far from cool, but rather the traditional ideologically-obsessed mind-thugs, glazed-over with pristine political correctness, who somehow reckon, geed-up in the giddy fever of their self-impotent stance, that their hateful show of prejudiced protests will make a bloody jot of difference to the outcome of this tragic case of terminal tribalism that continues to afflict the conjoined states of israel and palestine. the perennial british participants in our own home-grown, left-right hate-in will justify the use of any degree of violence to oppress or undermine the automatically despised opposition in a struggle where all that counts is winning power, not how, why, or upon what values - so exactly what these power-jockeys reckon they can bring to the insane bigotry of the palestine debate, i can't even begin to imagine?

i'm also pretty pissed about being put under continual surveillance for the past eight years, having been falsely and maliciously denounced as an islamic extremist by unknown individuals connected to the labour party, who then proceeded to profit from organizing the presumably scam security-service contract which was duly put out to control and monitor me - clearly the labour party in hackney will have to answer for their actions.

the bush-blair régime was riddled with tiresomely infantile thinking and it was deemed that those who criticized blair's policies must be extremists, probably islamic...it was beyond blairite comprehension that an individual could regard both islamophobia and islamic extremism as equally dangerous beliefs, and that the same individual could on principle be against all forms of religion - including christianity, islam, and judaism - whilst still respecting those who do not force their personal beliefs on others...obviously blair is an extremist who seeks to force his beliefs on others and thus fears that others will do likewise unto him. hatred of another's religion is always an indicator of an extremist belief in one's own religion. the problem with religion is that it is totalitarian, you must be either 'for' or 'against' the religion in question, because it is always theologically exclusive - and party politics are very similar, you must be either one or the other, never both or neither. a belief that the uk should not govern northern ireland does not predicate support for the ira, and similarly, those against israeli government persecution of palestinians cannot be pre-supposed to be hamas supporters or haters of jews. this is all basic stuff for normal, reasonable people who bother to talk and listen to one another, but a psycho-intellectual mountain to climb for small-minded cunts like blair.

the people chosen to fuck-up israel (revised version) said...

part one


obviously the internecine fighting in the palestinian conflict is interminable, and will remain so forever, until, that is, one of the two sides, locked into a tragic vortex of addictive victimhood, succeeds in its suicidal efforts to be almost completely exterminated by the other, and duly claims a famous defeat along with the spoils of international compensation and a new home. my own money's on the abrahamic cuckoo, son of the greatest cuckoo in the world, the american cuckoo, finally breaking the arab camel's back and bringing about its own destruction at the hands of unforgiving natural local enemies - let's be fair, israel's a fledgling cuckoo-state, one which was fortunate enough to be entrusted with the grave responsibility of governing those promised lands and protecting the inhabitants therein, but one which has, by pushing the palestinians out from the nest, repressing and murdering them, utterly failed to live-up to its regional responsibilities.

the state of israel has fundamentally proved that it has no clue what-so-ever how to behave towards other human cultures and co-exist with them, yet this immature behaviour should be of no surprise to the world, and must be expected from son-of-cuckoo, the mother-of-all-cuckoos, the most barbaric cuckoo of them all - seems the cuckoo-chick jumped over the edge of the nest before it could fly. the israelis have big guns, small brains and non-existent consciences, they demand and still receive indefinite reparations in the guise of immense military aid, and huge margins of ethical leeway, as a pay-off for past-crimes suffered, which, from a current perspective, are hardly more recent than the atlantic slave-trade - meanwhile the people of africa and the african diaspora have never received anything but more crap in their faces, much of it a by-product of so-called multi-national 'business' from which american-israeli merchants have immorally profited - if as an end-game, the israelis are angling for a new homeland someplace in africa, they will find the door slammed firmly shut in their faces, primarily because of their government's close collaboration with the well-documented systematic cia rape and murder of that continent...so i suppose in honesty that the americans had better fast start deciding which us state to offer their bosom israeli buddies as accommodation.

shockingly, only 10 per cent of israelis seem to be aware that their patriarchal politicians are risking their own population's very existence; i dunno for sure, but somehow i get the feeling that there's some highly rotten explosive buried deep beneath the state of israel - probably one of their own nukes, just with tel aviv's co-ordinates programmed into it...


(continued below)

the people chosen to fuck-up israel (revised version) said...

part two


anyway, here in the uk this bitter battle-to-the-death is none of our bloody concern - we simply have to be careful not to aggravate this dire situation by getting involved and sacrificing our impartiality. nevertheless, i find it really puzzling that war-slut cameron and his war-slut cabinet colleagues have all been strangely shy to support this particular palestinian manifestation of the arab spring and have stopped short of unilaterally bombing the fuck out of israel - war-sluts obama, clinton and kerry have been oddly reticent too...but my god, weren't these war-sluts all so ready to rumble on 'humanitarian' grounds when the rebellions 'got started' in libya and syria...? bush would've occupied israel by now, would he not...?

...but hey, that's cool...coz consistency now dictates that we don't have to intervene when israel is inevitably soon invaded by its enraged middle eastern neighbours...

...and what about revoking arms licenses for british firms who export weapons to israel? no, mr cameron...? what ho? such action would contravene the principle of free private enterprise and the free market...?

...but hey, fair enough, that's cool...coz now we can grant arms licenses to firms who want sell weapons to the palestinians and their allies when the tide turns and the show really kicks off crazy-like...

so no need to condemn the israelis for abusing their position of power, and committing atrocities against the palestinians, mr cameron...? ok, great, we need to keep a sense of balance...

...but hey, that's cool...coz now we don't need to condemn anyone when, in the oncoming climate of american isolationism, the boot ends-up on the other foot and hamas and their allies eventually have the means and opportunity to massacre the israelis...simple...i love it, dave.

warsi got arsey? great, give the girl a knighthood. oh, she already got one...what the fuck was that for?

oh dear, the conservatives have lost every single muslim vote at the next election...?

never mind, bring on bungling boris - the bodger from byzantium - cameron can now officially cuddle-up to the cunt.

the truth is that the israelis have become complacently caught in a time-warp, they still dwell in a neatly defined colonial age where the globe was run from the exclusive chrysoprase greens of the private members golf-club - but thesedays joe public can play too. it just ain't in the israeli people's religion to adapt to a world where the president of the united states is black, they physically can't stomach it and are not in any way capable of making the emotional transition required to deal with such a funny-coloured figurehead of the modern age at the level of respect commensurate with proper and effective communication. the israelis are stuck back in the 1930s with a master-race mentality and nothing can ever save them from their own racialized conceit; in fact, the crumbling conservative political elite in britain, which the israeli government traditionally choose to back, has lost touch and lost authority with the people who grant it power - tony blair and david cameron are practically consigned to the museum of old farts as public school curiosities, past-it in every sense. even in america, the preferred socio-racial class in which the israelis persist in investing is dwindling in power - and by the time israelis realize that their insularity may have lost them membership of the most 'gifted race' on earth, it could all be too late.

the cynic at the stable-door said...

@the people chosen to fuck-up israel (revised version)

the conservatives may of course revoke the existing arms licenses (now that the weapons are all already exported out to israel), and this would also set a precedent preventing any firm from applying for permission to supply weapons to the palestinians.

boris de blunderbus said...

just wait till i get my tits out for the people.

earthman editing co said...

@the people chosen to fuck-up israel (revised version)

i don't know whether the annual 3 billion dollars worth of united states military aid to israel should really be regarded as 'immense' - it certainly wouldn't seem so in comparison to the american military budget, although must appear excessive to the palestinians who are on the receiving-end of much of the weaponry. however, i believe the israelis have also been receiving arms-gifts (submarines) from germany, as an odd form of holocaust reparation.

don't forget that the palestinians receive roughly the same amount of aid from the eu and the united states, but it's economic aid and not meant for military purposes.

@the cynic at the stable-door

currently, the concept of british firms being able or wishing to supply arms to the palestinians is purely something from the realms of far-left fantasy-land - so i take it you are making a strictly academic point.

mr v disputin said...

i suppose my military aid cheque from obama is in the post - but i seem to have got netanyahu's sanctions by mistake.

the good, the bad, and the politically convenient said...

@the people chosen to fuck-up israel (revised version)

ok, so david cameron looks stupid talking about sanctions against russia and not even bothering to condemn israel or america's support...

...and obama looks bad going back into iraq to prevent genocide by islamists (whom, according to snowden and the russians, the americans and israelis have reportedly helped arm and train) whilst effectively ignoring the genocidal actions of israel in palestine...

...but you've got to remember that these guys are paid to look 'stupid' when in fact they are not, and fully aware of the inconsistency in their actions and their actions' consequences...

...sometimes we say that a person is behaving 'stupidly' when we really mean that the person is behaving 'badly'...

...and by disingenuously questioning their intelligence, you seem almost to be letting the israelis off-the-hook for what is self-evidently a moral failure in gaza...

...netanyahu doesn't respect obama because obama has been an ineffective worthless president, yet since the israeli president has far more cordial relations with the twat cameron, there could possibly be a far more personal reason for obama and netanyahu holding conferences with their backs facing each other, whilst still doing business...

...on the other hand, it's understandable that the israelis like dealing with the old-boy class in britain, because they are cheap to buy and manipulate, cameron a malleable, but well-informed and educated, berk, and blair a mad, greedy psycho-bastard, desperate to be one of the gang - the israelis have simply made the call that they can control the british leadership more than those who elected it...

...no, it's not a matter of the israelis only being able to work with a stupid class (weren't we, the people, just as dumb to give these dicks the democratic opportunity to rule us?), it's not about intellect or race or class, because the israeli government has no problem getting-on with their best mates in the cia, who are the smartest of the bunch picked from every culture, class, colour and creed, and are implanted into every political party left, right and centre, no...it's about the israelis, like all governments, dealing only with a bad class of human...and the fact that they are then clever enough to get away with war-crimes under cover of our own government's war-crimes is really a reflection of our own common stupidity...or should i say immorality?

to use the sly road of intellectual comparison as a hopeful route to seeing the israelis undermined just leads us as critics into the same synthetized survival-of-the fittest scenario, and ultimately the same racist quagmire in which all our politicians love to swill around by nature.

barmy dreamer said...

@spark up

"the problem with religion is that it is totalitarian, you must be either 'for' or 'against' the religion in question, because it is always theologically exclusive - and party politics are very similar, you must be either one or the other, never both or neither."

we can be 'neither' in politics, but run the risk of being hated by all parties if in-any-manner outspoken - of course, in the eyes of the suspicious paranoid party political, if you're not with them, you must be with the opposition. fuck 'em all and worship your own individual god or goddess, i say - mine's a sam-fox-fountain spurting cascades of crème de menthe.

lady laaardidah of lordship road said...

@barmy dreamer

i feel totally shunned - iz it coz i iz black or don't i slip-off the tongue so easy?

barmy dreamer said...

no hunny, it's nothing personal or anything...

it's just that, as a tipple, i've never been into dragon stout.

bob barleywhine said...

oh i dunno...

one man poison can sometime be another man loorid eraatic fantizzy...

ok, it not the sorta ting man in the habit of discussing out open like...

but bottom line is...it all a question of err...taste...

cap'n michael poortiller said...

well funny you should mention this, bob...but as a teenage schoolboy, before playstatues, 'selfies' and such, we had to rely largely on the power of our feral imaginations and make up our own games, you see...and once i did in fact have an experience which was loosely compatible with a topic under current discussion...i won't mention which one...and chivalry prevents me from going into unwarranted or explicit detail...but let's just say that it gave me a bit of a funny turn, after which i went rapidly the other way...

...still, it's all booze beneath the bridge now, i suppose.

sexual chemistry - snake in the grass of civilization said...

yeah, an old story, well-documented...

...mikey converted from fashionable young socialist to being a willy-wangling conservative, whilst di metamorphosed from budding young-farmer annabella to marxist revolutionary madame - you'd never tell, of course coz they're like two popped champagne corks in a silver ice-bucket...

...funny how love can suddenly change people and irreparably alter the course of history.

when cameron's foreign bombs provoke an islamic uprising here in britain, he will really reap the civil-war which he has laboured so desperately hard to sow said...

@the good, the bad, and the politically convenient

"...and obama looks bad going back into iraq to prevent genocide by islamists (whom, according to snowden and the russians, the americans and israelis have reportedly helped arm and train) whilst effectively ignoring the genocidal actions of israel in palestine..."

let me rewrite this paragraph for you:

"...and obama looks stupid going back into iraq ostensibly to prevent genocide by islamists, who have been armed and trained by in a joint cia-mi6-mossad operation, whilst effectively ignoring the genocidal actions of israel in palestine..."

the snowden link is apparently not confirmed by his people, but when the united states has had a hand in training the islamists now in syia and iraq, when american and uk arms-buying allies in the gulf-states have been supplying weapons to the islamists, and when many of the islamists originate from britain, it's actually quite hard to imagine that the new islamic state was not 'made in britain' and the united states by mr cameron and mr obama.

essentially the cia fired-up a rebellion in syria and have been quite content to allow the islamists to fight both the russian-backed assad government there and the russo-iranian-backed shi'ite government in iraq - yet it's only when the islamists have gotten rather close to american oil that the united states administration has 'altruistically' sent in the fighter-jets.

of course, having spent over ten years deliberately destabilizing iraq and the middle east, we owe the victims of our actions bundles of humanitarian assistance, but when will these thick-headed prats in power, our political leaders, ever realize that it is their military intervention in the middle-east (together with a diet of repressive christian extremism dished-out by the state at home in the uk) which is, indirectly, and even directly, radicalizing young conservative-minded muslims here in the britain.

perhaps the united nations should decree that the americans should set aside one state for the refugees of each war they start on our planet - and the british government should similarly donate one english county to charity, starting with perhaps berkshire or oxfordshire, every time it jumps to join-in the genocide game.

miss backfire bertha said...

@when cameron's foreign bombs provoke an islamic uprising here in britain, he will really reap the civil-war which he has laboured so desperately hard to sow

the prime minister should remember that an uprising in one specific part of this country could lead to wider non-islamic unrest amongst those opposed to our fascist and inhuman government - the cause for rising anti-british-government feeling, here and abroad, is fundamentally a global rejection of its casually bloody and oppressive policies.

pc fuckoff said...

good afternoon, sirs...it is my duty to inform you all that we are today facing an extremely grave developing-global-situation...

in summary:

the united states of america are highly concerned about an islamic state in iraq which summarily kills those of the wrong creed and cuts off the hands of thieves...

the rest of the world is worried about visiting america, where the feds are trained to shoot people down on the street for any act of attempted jay-walking, shop-lifting, or the wearing of a socially-prohibited skin-colour...

david cameron is about to trigger world-war three in commemoration of world-war one and then lose his job...

boris is on the brink of riding-in to the rescue, but boris johnson is no winston churchill, and winston churchill was a cunt...

please return to your homes as in as orderly manner as possible and keep children and pets safely locked inside at all times...

thank you and have a nice day.

a fuck-off pile of inflatable commercial flubber said...

i'm just flabbergasted that you should choose to express yourself in such strong terms, my good fellow...

obama - the witch messiah said...

@pc fuckoff

yes, may i say how tragic it is that a young unarmed african-american man has been gunned-down in the street by police and that due to a regrettable failure by law-enforcement authorities to observe due process, the victim was neither given the opportunity nor granted the legally-enshrined right to be framed-up for murder, spend twenty years stewing on death row, and then finally suffer a double-botched execution.

the jolly bodger said...

how come it's supposedly against the law to wave the black islamic flag in britain, yet david cameron can fly the skull-and-crossbones over downing street with impunity?

aaarrrhh...can't wait to get the keys to the cutlass cabinet.

bodgerwatch said...

@the jolly bodger

boris the byzantine, i presume...

...who will pick merrily away at cameron's minute policy detail until he eventually undermines the government enough to get a crack at delivering us the same old greed-fuelled garbage as we got before.

when cameron's foreign bombs provoke an islamic uprising here in britain, he will really reap the civil-war which he has laboured so desperately hard to sow said...

@when cameron's foreign bombs provoke an islamic uprising here in britain, he will really reap the civil-war which he has laboured so desperately hard to sow

sorry, please knock out second 'should' please:

"perhaps the united nations should decree that the americans [should] set aside one state for the refugees of each war they start on our planet - and the british government should similarly donate one english county to charity, starting with perhaps berkshire or oxfordshire, every time it jumps to join-in the genocide game."

stop me and buy one said...

god it makes me sick how cameron and hammond have got the raf tornado jets trolling around the skies over iraq feverishly hoping against hope that some islamist fighter will take a pointless pot-shot at airborne british property - thereby allowing our ministers of destruction to enter the deadly fun-and-games and feel like real big men, in the deep macho mould of mr obmbaklaart.

can-can de cabinet or dance of the sugar-plum fairies? said...

cameron and hammond: war-tarts showing their knickers in the hope of getting some lucrative side-action...

just one crude-oil cornet said...

yuk

national lapdog's american vacation (from reality) said...

looks like the bribed leaders of british barbarity are going to join the united states in another suicidal middle-eastern war.

obama's chucked a bone off the empire state building and dozy dave dachshund's leapt over the side after it.

stupid mutt.

british bullet-dodger said...

the scots were bang on course to politely decline the offer of independence from the united kingdom, but since david cameron and his cash-corrupted cabinet ministers-in-crime (backed by a decrepid assortment of semi-senile ex-generals and unchristian anglican archbishops) have arrogantly consorted to voice their approval of military action in the iraq-syria sand-trap, without the slightest reference to parliamentary debate or due democratic process, our caledonian cousins have had a sudden about-turn of heart and are now hell-bent on resurrecting hadrians wall...

...so will those of us remaining in the uk soon be able to cross the border into the highlands to escape the draft?

david the jackass said...

@british bullet-dodger

bugger - and there was me thinking that the threat of imminent world-war would unite the kingdom...

thou shalt not be british said...

nervous of relying on the normal laws and statutes with which we are in the habit of governing our country, the criminals who form our government have introduced a new and higher level of surreally subjective justice which supersedes and trumps all existing jurisprudence...

yes, the court system is now to be replaced with a "trial by britishness", whereby our social betters in power may summarily deem that birth as a foreigner automatically constitutes being everything (bad) that we true and tolerant brits are not, just because they, the great and the good in parliament, say so...

...perhaps because our political elite themselves are rather afraid of being judged under the standard rule of law...

high planes grifter said...

well, quite honestly...although i know that the war will cost absolutely billions, and that millions will be needlessly slaughtered...i really find this whole idea of other people being in danger, and other people getting killed, intensely stimulating...it give me a nice hard stiffy in bed for sam, see...an' me gather from 'er feelings that she really rather enjoy it...

...i believe one should think of war as a kind of viagra...but just a bit more expensive.

sexy sam's sloppy spam said...

oooh...i just love it when dave goes to war...

page three (progress) said...

due to legal concerns, the usual feature which appears in this slot will in future be replaced by an advertizement for formula milk

the premier scotch sales-rep said...

let me make no bones about this...

we in the uk desperately need a ready supply of young scot's blood to spill in the levantine desert - where it may usefully serve to fertilize the slick 'n seedy imperial dreams of both me, dave, the brave, and my best brown mate, president obomba of the united state of perpetual belligerence, who will be truly madly deeply pissed if the spiritual home of nobs-only golf-clubs tells me and him, in the nicest possible way, to go fuck ourselves up each other's mutually assured assholes by duly voting-in mr alley slamdour to replace the afore-mentioned barry macdeath of the shite-house, washingtone, the most powerful bog-cleaner* in the whole wide world, as its glorious emperor.

*kills 99 per cent of all known humanitarian aspirations, dead.

may i also mention that you knickerless horde of tartan-jokers will never survive without us, but that, notwithstanding this horrid historical tiff, my arse is always open to re-entry...

of course, if you do decide to walk out the door, we will first subject the entire population of caledonia, young and old, to the sporron-tingling sonic torture of mcchartnot musak piped loud-and-free into every home on a continuous loop-of-love...and then, having wrought irreversible psychological damage upon the nation, we in westminceter will nuke every jock cunt out of existence, in an act of inestimable and infinite mercy.

ps:

britain is a great, proud and tolerant kingdom and the carefree crowds of shoppers currently cramming british malls with cash won't mind in-the-least being blown to buggery when my suicidal foreign policies culminate in the instant decimation of our cravenly consumer-dependent economy. now let's face facts - st tony the baptist's career didn't bomb, did it?

the armchair anarchist said...

in my honest opinion, scotland has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to seize independence, burn down the assembly and balmoral, and then go tribal - following the libya- somalia-iraq-syria-model, as championed and skilfully effected by the obama-cameron-axis.

my enemy's enema is my friend, until he becomes my enema - in which case my enemy is my friend and all that bollocks.

the massive funding on offer from the obama administration earmarked to fight terror-or-islamism has tended to result in african governments craftily cultivating extremism and rebellion in order to secure vast sums of covert untraceable cash, much of which then magically disappears into swiss bank accounts secretly held by african presidents.

isis has been deliberately fostered by america and its allies to create the chaos necessary for neo-cunt new-world-odour criminals to thrive in.

mmm...would it be ethical for me to participate in the vote for independence...

...or would such an action constitute the de facto recognition of an established governmental authority...?

shame