Tuesday 18 March 2014

write to rant



today on spark up! we are privileged to be able to publish an exclusive extract from the diary of cryogenically preserved celebrity comedian, and bouncy-bed bastion of black british consciousness at the black-bashing corporation, mr lenny emery:

dear diary,

this morning, i woke-up in my luxury padded penthouse at promiscuous sin towers, luton, examined the super-calorific contents of my well-over-burdened intercontinental breakfast-tray...

...and, upon encountering some culturally-based confusion as to which side my toast had actually been buttered, pondered the matter awhile, before plodding off pensively down to my alternatively-coloured yet unbendingly benevolent masters based at bestiality house, portaloo place, london - primarily, it must be said, in order to embark on a self-sacrificing revolutionary whinge about the unethically under-cooked nature of my unbrowned bread...

...however, having announced my arrival at satan's-soul studios amid a fawning flatulent fanfare from fellow old fespian farts and entered unto the inner scrotum of scrotums (whereupon i was instantly blinded both politically and numismatically by that strangely intense white limelight, which as if through the power of some televisually enhanced magic once more began to radiate irrepressibly from my own unshackled artistic arsehole), it suddenly dawned on me (when removing my reality-bland shades and glimpsing my reflection in the basement-bog mirror) that the most prudent course of action would rather be to put on a big cheesy smile, wank the board-members off a bit, then ask them ever-so-nice-and-politely-like if they wouldn't mind awfully treating black fellas (and gals) like me a teeny-weeny dash better in the not-too-distant future...

...although, this all said-and-done, i obviously also proceeded to lay down the law in black-and-white and stated unequitably that i still wish to retain my exalted efnick position as grand-token-darky amongst darkies whilst continuing to appear as if i give a flying coconut-cake about the rest of the banana-careered bunch as they are all served-up to the chairman and dicksucker-general ass-first as an entrée exotico-erotico of afro-frisson fritters - fried to a facety-fit for the exclusive entertainment of the evil empire's faithful fag-boys.


yours ever-so ever-so gratefully


lenny ennui (cunt by example)

7 comments:

old ma cleanspeak said...

mr ennui, my dear, i am somewhat perturbed by your altogether crude choice of vocabulary in this piece...

...yet what worries me inestimably more is the unadulterated naïveté you display in undertaking your assessment of the degree to which the aforementioned broadcasting institution has been irreversibly infected with inbred indigenous institutionalism.

in my own humble home-grown opinion, the bbc has from its inception always had an official government mandate to act as an evil english establishment organ of inveterate institutional oppression...

...and, as such, all things being equal and all options carefully considered, i would therefore venture to suggest that the only sensible and efficient course of remedial action à propos this obsolete organ's permanent ethical rehabilitation...

...is to pop lighted sticks of industrial-strength dynamite down its raaaassssclaaaart pipes of prurient public perversion and stand well back bro'.

(ps: bbc = bent bastards' club)

candy for neo-colonial cheerleaders said...

that's the right word ma, the big brother cabaret is an obsolete pile of obnoxious old omni-impotent horse-crap whose licence-fee no-one (black or white) wants to pay anyway...

...basically, the licence-fee is a compulsory government propaganda tax which no sane-minded citizen supports - save, of course, for those state-cock-slurping celebs who're getting weighed-out big-time from it.

jim dovetailson said...

i dunno...

...i've read lenny's argument for positive discrimination in the blacks banned club, and i reckon i'm with him on this one...

...you see, i'm thinking along these sorta lines: under these new reversed race-rules, if i get blacked-up, i might just score a little break and scrape a reprieve contract.

cut the crap, cut the black british cropration, completely said...

however admirable his own motives may seem, if lenny henry supports forcibly screwing money out of ordinary folks to support the bbc's fascist world-news reportage, and its general fascist agenda of brainwashing and political propaganda via public entertainment and education programming, then he is a fascist too - if we were not forced to hand over our dosh to these imperialist government cretins, we would still have the independent spending-power to pay for media which reflects the rawality of the world in which we live as opposed to the socially whitewashed wonder-world in which our political elite comfortably resides.

frankly, i think lenny's way off-the-mark here, because, in the main, the younger generations view the bbc as a tired and hackneyed old hat which simply serves to cover-up a very bald patch in british establishment culture and thinking - and in any case the youngsters now consume most of their info and shows directly from the internet. i can't imagine that seriously hip and aspiring artists really want to be associated with the nafferati at the bbc anyway - it don't look to cool on the cv boy, or whatever the kids say thesedays...

...does mr henry want today's youth to be laced into the same narrow-minded strait-jacket by which he allowed himself to be restrained? it's not the colour of the talking faces that is the root problem in public-service broadcasting - it's the whole corrupt nature of compulsory state-payment breeding compulsory state-certified correctness according to a compulsory state-ideology, with racial discrimination comprising just one of the many evils in its class-loaded compass.

for years, artists of all backgrounds and colours have had to choose between the electric, expressive freedom of being paid-as-you-perform on the relentlessly rotating circuit of community eccentricity, and the static, regulated rehearsed rote of being muffled-by-blackmail-money on the stagnant mainstay pole set fist-first in the putrified stone pond of petrified power.

lenny made his choice, but so that those who follow may be free to make theirs, he should now be campaigning against the all-dominant braincasting law which licences communication, language and liberty itself.

strictly come pole-dancing said...

@jim dovetailson

yes, jim, you're right - using disguise under the quota-rule, you may well get in the 'blackdoor', because positive discrimination always lowers standards in all professions...

...that's not to say that there isn't lots of unrecognized black british talent literally going begging - there is, since state-funded-arts rule the airwaves and are dominated by a racially discriminating establishment - but you have also to consider that postive discrimination in favour of white middle-class artists has already lowered standards disastrously in the public sector and that the cream of black talent would therefore more likely choose to join independent production-companies or studios where selection for roles is based upon ability alone.

in fact, it's the same old story - those cut out of the limelight by virtue of class, creed, or colour have to hone their performance-craft to such a high degree in the cash-competitive private arena (just to get a foothold on the leaning playing-fields of public-show-time) that they often finish-up infinitely more advanced practitioners of their trade than their favoured white middle-class counterparts who get an easier ride in the business. moreover, because of limited opportunities, you will find that black performers often tend to dumb-down for public-service broadcasting, leaving their more erudite and sophisticated work for smaller-scale productions in privately or independently funded theatre and cinema - although admittedly, this is a phenomena which to a certain extent can apply to any able performer within the profession.

the bottom line is that public subsidy reduces competition, and thus standards, across the boards.

comrade umpsum said...

nothing but selfless revolutionary acts of moral courage will ever bring down the barbaric beast of british colonialism...

...so during exhaustive preparatory research for my recent rôle in a celebrated and influenzial tv soap-opera, i tried using the stanislavski method in an attempt to intellectually undermine the oppressive state broadcaster and fatally spear the evil underbelly of western imperialism...

...only i got pregnant and they dumped me the sexist wankers.

confessions of a counter-revolutionary pool-shooter said...

like the civil-service, the bottom-of-the-barrel corporation tends to attract the least talented artists and those barred from the established arena by birth-discrimination who are desperate to make an entrance.

yes, crypto-marxist-leninist-feminist-communist revolutionaries have throughout history always favoured the long tried-and-tested subversion technique of shagging the establishment to death. i once met a woman from a jamaican guerilla cell who was plotting to undermine the political oppression of white society by producing, with the help of her sistas, as many mixed-raced babies as was humanly possible and thus turning the entire european population black - now, i don't know exactly who is currently winning that particular barmy battle of the races, what the state-of-play is, or whether the white side has since managed to score any back in a retaliatory counter-attack, but on a personal level i'm confident i narrowly escaped being recruited to the cause despite receiving a tactically deployed marriage proposal popped whilst pinned in fragrunte delicto.

i have to say that i really admired the lady's spirit, and she definitely did her bit - but i fear that in the long-term, over thousands of years, the decisive factor in the population's biological skin-tone balance will always simply be climate, and climate-change, and no-one can possibly affect or predict that...