Monday, 9 January 2012

curtailed words: democratic debate summarily stifled on underdogs bite upwards



due to an undemocratic and ruthless lord-high leg-iron-led dictatorship taking immoral control of the underdogs bite upwards editorial command, spark up! has stepped-up smartly to the posting-plate in order to defend that most cherished, exquisite and delicate treasure which we once knew as freedom-of-speech, and to allow our valued friend lady diana dubble-dollop the equal opportunity to reply to rab on the socially-exclusive abbot - ah, but... discussion thread.

lady diana dubble-dollop wanted to say:

hi guys, thanks for the expenses - it means i've been able to pay-off my coco-slate and have just taken delivery of a fresh tanker-load. it's top grade shit - i gave the driver a 'nice big tip' and in return he saw his way clear to giving moi an extra big squirt.

anyway...i'm not quite sure why red edit and kenny wadisa are using down the mineshaft's screen-account? but obviously we cia brethren can do any damn baamba shite-jinks we like, so why not, hey?

oh, eddy baby...methinks he doth protest too much, don't ya? he's a great sport tho' and i've always had a soft-and-soggy centre for him since the day i 'took him under my wing' whilst teaching elementary bull-shitting at rada...

and well, really...may i say that i feel most insulted by rab's tea-lady remark - i'll have him know that i gained my twilight position in a dodgy-corner of the shadow-cabinet on merit alone...it's got nothink to-do with any sort of racial discrimination, positive discrimination, or the fact i've got both eds' balls in a digitally-recorded vice (comprising a bedful of busty bountiful bouncing bajun babes) which they don't wan't their err...paler partners to know anythink about...no, not at all...i provide the shadow-ministers of the shadow-cabinet with an invaluable service...be sensible now, who else could source, for members of a future british government, such high-quality ganj...err...i mean cannabis sativa (strictly for medicinal use in the nhs, naturally...)

...and what's all this nonsense about black cabs...i have no problem getting black cabs...all cabbies luv me man...i just have to abide by certain local by-laws (quite similar to those to which i am subject in cabinet, actually)...i don't think it necessary to go into unseemly detail...but suffice to say that the provision of a re-inforced rum-truffle-flavoured-gag shows just how far this country has progressed since the harsh days of slavery.

...mmm...and what was the original topic...oh ya, good heavens, you just can't say anything thesedays, can you? you know, if i'd said that white people are all lovely and yummy and their men all have huge great knock-out willies, we wouldn't be having this discussion, now would we, darling?

oh ya, have to dash now...eddy's passing 'round for dindins and i've got a bathful of choccy-custard-sauce on-the-go for the sponge-dessert...must jump-in before a skin forms.

9 comments:

jocelyn jack esien said...

great to see that spark up! is still standing-up for free-speech against all odds...

...and thank you, lady diana...the way you have publicized the plight of the congolese people by blatantly covering-up the real perpetrators of the war-of-exploitation is nothing less than political genius - lateral feminist thinking at its most brilliant best.

michael porktrillo - veteran of the iraq war serving with the special hair service said...

yes, hi...i've read the underdogs discussion and i'm glad that spark up! has afforded diana the right to reply - rab also has every right to his opinions, but personally i find his manner most uncouth, and, given that diana's political philosphies and doctrines are relatively simple to dismantle and debunk, i consider it churlish to pass further superfluous judgement on her character and her intellect, and, indeed, quite ungentlemanly.

i don't, as some do, feel the necessity to slap labels such as 'black' or 'fat' or 'loony-leftie' upon dear diana - as it is unpardonably rude; in fact, i am myself of the belief that my friend and colleague has, tragically, for reasons of historical circumstance utterly beyond her control, been inadvertantly recruited into the wrong party - and i simply see her therefore as a highly ambitious and resourceful woman hailing from a hardworking jamaican immigrant family, who has an anne widdecombe inside desperately struggling to get out...

...and, all-in-all, taking into account that the honourable mp has absolutely no redeeming features save for a good measure of cunning, a very thick hide, and an infectiously sociable personality, i think the old girl has done damnably bloody good - so you won't be hearing any measly mean-minded snipes from these quarters, i tell you.

play it again, ma'am.

the spud-farmer (aka dave) said...

21:33

in fact, i am myself of the belief that my friend and colleague has, tragically, for reasons of historical circumstance utterly beyond her control, been inadvertantly recruited into the wrong party

phew...that was a close one...

hey, mikey...good job you played a blinder, back in your salad days, and convinced the batty old unguided-missile that loony-leftyism was the only way to go.

lady diana dubble-dollop macpuff said...

21:33

oh...that's so sweet of you michael, my dear, and darcus was also very gallant the other night on tv - when he reported the constant drivel of racist rubbish which i have to sit there and listen to week-in-week-out in shad-cab.

but oi...less of the 'old', thank you very much - you were a school-year above me, remember, macpuff?

...and god knows what the spud-farmer's on about...although i do sort of vaguely recall you being somewhat of a radical disarmer back in the day...it was the sixties tho'...and all a bit of a hzae...

bungo said...

i, for one, am quite happy for lady dd to remain as member of parliament for stoke corruption and clapton pond for the duration of her political career - at least she does an effective job blocking-out the fresher-minded generation of immeasurably more talented young black intellectuals and prevents them from wasting-out their lives serving as colour-coded flunkies for the white establishment's abjectly affected amusement.

spark up said...

well, sadly, we are no longer welcome on underdogs bite upwards - as mr leg-iron has made it extremely clear that he no longer wishes to engage in constructive debate. he is now employing an almost unusable disqus comment application in order to dissuade others from posting their views, yet switches back to the facility of blogger-comments whenever he posts under any of his own collecton of personas - how unutterably childish. i well remember these types of shenanigan occurring when i used to comment on guido fawkes and old holborn, where long-loading page-formats were likewise a deterrent to the humble commenter who was without the means to afford powerful computer-processors and super-fast internet connections - this arrogantly over-loaded behaviour is a very american trait, as you'll soon discover if you ever attempt to interact with the cumbersomely big snazzy transatlantic blogs. leg-iron's obviously using the same modus operandi as old holborn and guido fawkes and there is obviously some level of shared identity - old holborn was even privy to a conversation i once had with mr jag singh in the offices of messagespace and went as far as to publish details on his blog. judging by the current degree of inflexibility on underdogs bite upwards, it looks very much as though the owner has sold the blog on to some prudish narrow-witted numbskull, the tart - and has run-off with the money without so much as a 'thank you'...a situation which exactly replicates the way events unfolded previously on old holborn and guido fawkes...

it's all pretty much academic, anyway - as my ip address is now blocked and we are thus barred from making any comments whatsoever on the underdogs bite upwards blog. so up yours.

eve stropped said...

these politicians think they are above the law - they think they can employ their interns to snoop on private citizens and mess private citizens around, and they think they can employ hackers to intercept and monitor private invididuals' computer connections and hack into private individuals' computers, e-mail accounts and mobile phones. politicians do do this - without seeking official approval.

down the mineshaft said...

21:58

the new proprietor of underdogs bite upwards has barred us from commenting on his website due to his embarrassment about my revelations concerning diane abbott and president obama's hypocritical insouciance over western manipulation of the cut-price mineral-exploitation-war in congo, which, with the aid of regional cia and covert western-intelligence involvement, has resulted in at least 5 million deaths; despite his lame anti-abbott bluster, it's pretty bloody obvious which politicians leg-iron is really protecting - and, since all bloggers know that only cia-backed blogs are ever allowed to prosper, it's also very clear who his friends are.

when viewed as a contiguous development of the genocide triggered by belgian colonialism in congo, future historians will have no qualms about mentioning the current congo conflicts, and the associated violently enforced mineral extraction, in the same shameful breath as the north atlantic slave trade, yet politicians such as diane abbott, david lammy and president obama allow western management-by-proxy of this ongoing holocaust to continue completely unhindered right under their imperiously raised righteous noses - because they have too much business invested in washing the african blood from the hands of the elite profiteers of the white western hegemony.

the rational rustler said...

02:16

you're unfairly singling-out black politicians when really they're no different from every other politician - they're not racist, they'll take anyone's money (if it's the right colour).