Wednesday, 1 September 2010

cameron's carnival of complacency

the new coalition carnival 2010 will ultimately receive a sotto voce response at the polls - the big bruv' society, of clegg 'n cameron inc, having successfully subverted the traditional caribbean street-party in london's notting hill, subduing it into silence under a damp down-pillow of diva-policing...for you see, the beat-boys are back in town, with a vicious, virtuous vengeance. under the bravado bourgeois management of mayor boris johnson, the smirking balliol bully, carnival is dead-set on becoming the biggest village-fête in europe - a charmingly confined celebration of tea, cupcakes, cucumber-sandwiches, rasta-ribboned morris-dancing-and-may-pole-prancing...or you'll get yer head kicked-in, by the fuzz-bouncers, init? nevertheless, respect must go out to all the kow-towing community-leaders, without whom this muted multi-cultural masquerade of monotonous menacing blue could never have been achieved - perhaps the privileged petty-powers of parliament feel that the notion of serfs letting-off steam for a day has become obsolete in a liberal society embarrassed by the frustrating freedom to do fuck-all-good for anyone. a seven pm sound-off, leaves the mood of mambo-jambo-without-jets to culminate in a controlled-crash at the fag-end of a festive-funway trimmed by a tactical blackthorn-hedge; banned-from-bogling, but licensed-to-booze, the wronged-throng, unreluctantly-trained to form an orderly queue, descend back into the tube-system, and submit to the gradual creeping-culture of for two lads, spoilt-with-liberty, whose raucous remonstrations found sport with the law, and the law winged them with a clinically executed display of spontaneous synchronized-drubbing, hospitably treating the popping-pair to a short-sharp burst of relentlessly-rehearsed rawhide-racial-rhythms coming-to-conclusion in a concise on-the-cuff crescendo when both gob-smacked guests were overwhelmed to accept the drum-rôle d'honneur - the show over, a select-audience of smattered fans wavered in shell-shock-adulation, straining their saturated-souls to find an appropriate manner in which to express their unrestrained gratitude, some generously donating bottles of iced-cold-beer to quench the ardent auraric thirst of the authorized attention artistes blowing and glowing centre-fold...whilst other have-a-go-gallants turned from confronting the compulsory surreal attraction, and sheepishly accompanied bubbling womenfolk back to their shelters of silk-sheer complacency.


jade ragga said...

oh blimey, those policemen were a real pest, weren't they? i asked one for directions to me all-singin'-all-dancin' arto-celebriean after-party and he didn't have a bloody-clue, darlin'. good-gord, i was so narked i nearly bunged my limited-edition bric-a-brac bangle at the bugger. fuckin' poofed-up plod-trotters - all look the fuckin' same, don't they?

spark up said...


what a terrible ordeal you had to endure, jade. i was fortunate enough not to be directly hassled by the cops at all - tho' their pre-disposition to exercize total control did fuck-up the carnival atmosphere completely. i did, of course, see about four police-officers lay into two presumably mouthy guys for no clear and apparent reason - save for the fact that the force were getting a bit touchy about other unidentified individuals lobbing bottles in its the general direction. it happened on the junction of tavistock crescent and st luke's road shortly after 7.00pm, 30.08.10, when all the sound systems were sudenly locked-off by the law - the two obdurate malcontents got a swift beating with batons until dropping sensibly to the ground and submitting to hand-cuffs - i believe...although i was fair few yards down the road and couldn't honestly say what form of restraint was used or whether any blows landed after or during submission and all happened very quickly, as they say...but the action seemed to continue until the policemen had 'made sure of things'. what really stuck-out was the remarkable co-incidence of both men infringing public-order regulations (and, doubtless, police sensibilities) at the very same instant, thus triggering perfectly co-ordinated parallel percussion performances by their arrestors - everything seemed to happen to both detainees simultaneously, right from the first strike, through to the drop, and then the tie-up. by rights, spark up would then have approached the officers and demanded what the bloody-blazes was going-on, but it got a bit hairy (what with the sporadic projectile count, before, during and after the incident), and i bottled i scarpered-off to safety, got a lager down my neck, and then walked-off...trying to put the whole damn business behind me.

sergeant ruttock said...

racially-motivated assault by police officers is clearly completely unacceptable - unless performed in the privacy of a cop-shop cell, of course.

pc feeled said...


sergeant, sir, these men were not beaten to the ground with batons because of the colour of their skin, but because they neglected to wear regulation metropolitan police uniform whilst attending carnival.