Friday, 16 July 2010

boris de bastard vows to ornament the perimeter of parliament square with a filigree lattice of anti-renaissance razor-wire-sculpture


following a judicial ruling to bulldoze democracy village from the face of parliament square (and a swiftly conducted opinion-poll), sheriff of london, boris johnson, has stood by his convictions and given his word, as a complete and utter bastard, to restore westminster's own emerald isle to its former glory and its former freeholder, her majesty the queen of england and other places. david "the dachshund" cameron has chipped-in and pledged a battalion of one thousand ground-troops, armoured-assault-vehicles, plus air-support (including the latest high-spec apache helicopters), to drive the soviet-backed crypto-crusty insurgency from the capital's beleaguered public camp-site. in a brief interview with spark up!, bad boris complained that, thus far, the protest had cost the tax-payer over £250k in court and clean-up costs - money, he said, which would have been far better spent blowing the little arms and legs off afghan children, with astronomically expensive american cluster-bombs.

spark up! continues to defend the right of all-comers to play cricket, according to fair rules, upon the green of parliament square - but i feel it my patriotic duty to point out that, although the place does now rather appear to have been degraded to a p├ętanque patch by the revolting revolutionaries, we obviously cannot have any fancy fromage-fumed frenchies fannying around with fanatically-polished cannon-balls on our sacred-site, can we?

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