Wednesday, 22 April 2015

write to rant: general ejection special



today, spark up! is offering the write-to-rant to the man set on a collision course to become the next prime-minister of the united kingdom - the irredeemable el gin efraga:

"of course, back in the good old days of empire - when we as a nation were in the habit of overtly plundering the riches of all those other less developed countries around the globe, murdering and violating their men, women and children, and seizing their best farmlands to build vast immigration centres specifically designed to house deranged british toffs suffering from a serious sunshine deficiency - we were not nearly so popular as we are today, and foreigners did not especially wish to come here to live in the uk... 
...oh yes, in the era before world-war-two, immigration control was barely an issue for our government, and in any case, at that period, we as responsible indigenous citizens, were automatically in receipt of the devolved powers necessary to manage the integration of foreign faces into our communities on a street-by-street basis, and so with a little local help, those that didn't 'fit in', so-to-speak, soon seemed to find their way home, or moved along elsewhere... 
...however then, quite frankly, i believe we british became a victim of our own socializing success - because you see, after the catastrophe of the 1939-45 world-war, some bright spark, with a misplaced sense of racial guilt, decided to open-up a free national hospital, free to anyone in the whole wide world who fancied visiting to make use of its free health services, and before you could say "excuse me, matron", peoples of every culture, colour and creed were flocking into britain, from every imaginable corner of the earth, to live in the vicinity of our renowned medical institution, and this is why we face the terrible overcrowding we do today, where royals are forced by austerity to share palaces and castles, sometimes, and even have to spend more time with common bourgeois in-laws, in order to give each other space... 
...and now what's worse, is that for some unknown reason, things are getting rather hot 'n sticky, socially and politically, for our british ex-pat folks abroad - can't think why really...? just like i can't think why half the under-developed world wants to travel thousands of miles, across strange continents and oceans, risking life-and-limb simply to make an appointment at the accident and emergency department of our super-duper hospital...? but anyhow, the point is that we haven't actually got enough spare space to accommodate all our own people now fleeing persecution from other cultures in other parts...
...so obviously what we need is a lasting solution, and that's why i say: let's just stop fannying around, and bulldoze the national health service once and for all - it'll cure a multitude of ills - and afterwards we can politely ask all non-british persons to kindly bugger-off someplace to make room for the re-migration of true-brits, whose families have, through no fault of their own, been residing outside the country for a century or so... 
simple really, if you think about it...? 
...and what's the good of a free hospital, anyhow - without the key support of low-paid immigrants to staff it and to pay-in national insurance contributions for the upkeep...?"

74 comments:

death-crop uk said...

the one subject you'll not hear discussed during this election is our government's cultural tradition of bombing black and brown people for their own good.

cameron, clegg and miliband are all already addicted to this gruesome pastime of keeping the other bastards down - it's essential for the national economy - but they don't feel the need to talk about it, as it's considered 'a given'...

...and farage will soon be equally hooked on global slaughter, just as soon as his cia handlers in the city have explained the figures: how they suddenly disappear from the face of the earth when cruise missiles vapourize them, and then magically reappear in his personal bank-account after a period deemed appropriate by common decency.

borderline schizophrenia said...

farage is 'half-sensible', so i hear...

...but it's what's going-on in the other half which worries me.

spark up said...

@death-crop uk

although ukip and the bnp have maintained a consistently anti-war stance over the past years, their position appears to be driven more by a political phobia of domestic immigration - the side-effect of our government's military intervention overseas - and the senseless waste of british servicemens' lives, rather than by any question over the absolute morality of bombing brown civilians in oil-rich regions.

farage simply wants to shut the door on the rest of the world and its problems, deny the hundreds of years' british government involvement in global exploitation and cultural destruction - which has led directly to the criminally inequitable international situation currently unfolding before our eyes - and then bury his irresponsible drunken head in at least a hundred and fifty years of unforgivably blood-soaked sand.

so despite his comprehension of the cause and effect of our foreign neo-colonial wars, farage would clearly prefer to pretend that they had never happened - unless of course he spots a cheap opportunity for scoring political points against rival parties.

cameron, clegg and miliband, on the other hand, wish to deny any possible political connection between our government's blasting of relatively defenceless african and middle-eastern states back into the stone-age, and the now far too common-place horror of human-beings literally drowning themselves in the mediterranean sea in their desperate attempt to flee from those same war-ravaged countries.

of course, the root-reason for this appalling cleft in reality, into which the british prime minister, the deputy prime minister, and the convenor of the opposition have disappeared - along with every last shred of their human integrity - is our three totalitarian führers' power-fuelled paranoid racial obsession with camouflaging the profound culpability of western intelligence services, who, by deliberately utilizing dangerous al qaeda elements to ignite the syrian and libyan civil-wars, and who, by manipulating the corrupt presidents of christian african countries into mounting a divisive attacka against muslim somalia, for the cynical purposes of re-igniting a perpetual civil-war, have in truth committed the most heinous war-crime of all - the crime of conjuring a conflict from nowhere.

digustingly, both our government and parliamentary opposition - each doing their level-best to dismiss the dire humanitarian consequences as 'an unforeseeable tragedy', each fully committed to concealing our intelligence agencies' deep complicity - seek to act as if none of these cataclysmic civil-wars is our country's fault...

...in just the same way as they, our duly elected political leaders, claim to be blameless for a complete meltdown in our justice system, not-to-mention for the obvious collusion of our police-force and intelligence services in a huge hatton garden bank-robbery - clearly synchronized with the massive terrorist-fire near holborn - which, although officially being linked to polish or other eastern-european criminals, could easily turn out to be yet another security services funding-scam for al qaeda...

...after all, the gang on the frontline of the safety-deposit-box job would neither have known the mastermind's identity nor the ultimate destination of that individual's share of the profits...

...and frankly, there are now bags of circumstantial evidence pointing to the blag being cop-assisted - the police becoming involved in order either to facilitate the flow of covert funds to shady intelligence-agency associates, or to trace the money abroad to terrorist-linked gangs, or purely to earn from the high-profile, high-value crime themselves...

...why else would law-enforcement officers ignore a security-alarm at a vault containing hundreds of millions of pounds' worth of jewels?

the mad taxman said...

@spark up - 27 april 2015 at 17:03

it's common knowledge that successive british governments have dismantled effective public access to the justice system, the health system, the state education system (in non-middle-class areas), and significant swathes of the social-security benefits system.

no wonder our excluded citizens have begun to establish an unofficial corrective court of integrity, every monday morning, come rain, come shine, right outside the entrance to the royal courts of justice.

so what on earth are we paying our taxes for?

serial social-worker said...

@the mad taxman

yes, the other year i accompanied a vulnerable woman to an atos 'work capability assessment' - this was basically a mental-health examination arranged by the jobcentre.

strangely, the appointment had been made for a saturday morning, and in some godforsaken essex village situated directly beneath the approach-flight-path of southend airport; to my independent point of view, not only was the timing of the appointment curious, but also the location, which was even more curious - owing to the fact that the subject of the assessment resided in central london.

the health-centre hosting this atos 'work capability assessment' was to be discovered down a quiet lane on the outskirts of the village - to be more precise, it was tucked out-of-the-way behind an old unused council facility, which one approached via a large deserted car-park; the health-centre building itself was accessed through an alley and its view was completely hidden from the street; there was no security at the health-centre, which, like its immediate environs was completely deserted, save for the one examining doctor himself, who operated alone in the complex without even the assistance of a receptionist.

on arrival at the isolated health-centre, which backed onto empty fields adjoining the sea, we finally managed to find our way inside, and then waited for a few minutes in the foyer, in puzzlement, until the examiner suddenly appeared from a back-room, much in the manner of mr benn - the children's cartoon character.

i wondered, in passing, whether the medic was actually a cia or mi5 agent, whose real job was to man a security-services surveillance-post in the area - the spot possibly being a weak-point in airport-defences, and attractive to terrorists attempting to mount an attack on passenger-jets as they landed and took-off...

..however, much as the place stank of a spooky cia set-up, i was actually rather more seriously struck by the awful, chilling thought that an unaccompanied visiting jobcentre client could far too easily be assaulted there - without anyone else in the neighbourhood being at all aware of anything untoward going-on.

so, apart from mentioning the obvious accessibility problems associated with this assessment-site, would it also be correct to question whether iain duncan smith, the bald-headed beagle of bucks, and current secretary of state for social security, is guilty of aiding, abetting, or otherwise enabling, the potential commission of sex-crimes or other crimes against the person?

sadly, the well-connected family of the afore-mentioned state-customer was making a bit too much establishment dosh ever to wish to rock the government boat over this matter of blatant criminal negligence, but in my sole unofficial capacity as a pain in the official bum, i feel it my sincere and solemn duty to fully recount this most singular of episodes for the permanent public record, so there.

"dozy" dave dachshund (part one) said...

never mind about the rights and wrongs of us sticking our stupid old oar into the business of sovereign foreign states and forcing them, at gunpoint, in a nice free democracy, to elect the government of president obombaklaart's choice...for actually, you know, we now face a threat oodles more deadly and destructive than a million fissile jihadist insurgents, each armed with his, or her, own homemade nuclear device, and the means of delivering it to number ten downing street in a handbag - which would err probably be a handbag, i suppose...sorry, don't know where the 'handbag' came from, i was thinking more of a postage-stamp really, but of course first-class stamps are prohibitively expensive these days, probably more so than nukes, and the postal service is notoriously unreliable now, and awfully insecure, or so i hear...

(although to be absolutely honest, i must admit i'm no great expert on means of delivery, terrorism, or stamps, or such, or anything much really, i suppose...not that it's stopped me getting to where i am today)

...anyway, where was i...? yes, we here in britain face a threat greater than any greatly over-hyped super-sized threat we've ever faced ever before - greater than adolf hitler, greater than dutch-elm disease, greater than japanese knotweed, greater than scottish football supporters with kilts, and greater even than wee wild willy hague, who i understand can crack a man's skull between his knee-caps...

(now, i know that there has been a load of feverish internet speculation as to why wee willy would have had a man's head resting between his knees, but i can put all this silly on-line speculation to bed, once-and-for-all, by informing you that it was, in fact, only his heavily heterosexual hairstylist, stan stubble, working down there, giving willy's bush a quick blue-rinse and performing a professional twelve-week blow-dry in time for the upcoming general erec...i mean election...so no need to worry about a thingy, ok ya)

...and who or what might this unimaginably great threat be, you may ask? it is err...oh who is it, larry? ah yes, it's ed milihandout and his merry band of lefties, of course...and well, obviously the socialists must be precluded at all costs from capping rents, interfering or meddling in the free-market and whatnot, coz that's a big ideological no-no which could utterly annihilate the very fabric of the big society, otherwise known as the residential landlords association...

...what's that larry, my puss? you say i've been cynically scheming to keep interest-rates artificially low, offering young rich-kids a helping fistful of pound-notes to get them onto the housing-ladder, allowing private landlords to receive unconscionably, nay criminally, high levels of housing benefit cash from bent councils, and generally pulling every possible trick in the book in order to artificially inflate house prices and keep the housing-market bubble from going flat with a fart, as it should have done, long ago...and doing all this with the result that poor people can't afford to buy property, and have to be placed by councils in emergency accommodation, owned by private landlords, who then gobble even more extortionate rates of housing benefit...basically protecting an elite club of stonking rich buy-to-let landlords at the expense of the masses who are forced to rent...?

is that right, larry? so how would a cat be able to understand the finer points of rigging the housing-market, then? you know what? i somehow reckon it's about time to review your tenancy agreement, larry...from now onwards, the rent for kipping in number ten's gonna go up from 5 mice a week to 50 rats a day, kitty...so put that figure into your economic computer model, and meeeow, chum...

(continued below)

"dozy" dave dachshund (part two) said...

(continued from above)

...and then there's the other hideous, unspeakable, assymetric threat which looms above us like a humungous great fluffy black rain-cloud...yes, the smashed ranks of the scottish notional party, who, if labour do the dirty with 'em, could soon undermine the whole of the united kondom and sink it to the bottom of the sea...so ok, we could've decided not to insult the scots' intelligence, let them go their own independent way, paying their own way, for their own pipes, pulling 'n purchasing their own pints...and have completely avoided all this rather unnecessary, foolish tribal bother...and all still been friends...and been quids-in over here in england, with no tangible change to our common culture and lifestyle, just doing business as usual really...

...but it's trident, you see...president obombaklaart needs someone to hold onto his mighty explosive missile, or he says we'll all get wossisnamed up the wotsit, or that's the jist, i believe...of course, i don't totally comprehend why we need his inter-continental ballistic thingymajig, or what we're supposed to do with it...but anyhow, he's our mate, and he looks after us in times of emergency...which according to american foreign policy, is all the bleedin' time...and that's why he wants us to keep hms vajazzle in tip-top nick...even though there's apparently no preventative device fitted to stop an accidental discharge by a rogue sailor...well, that's how wild willy hague, commander-in-brief, explained it to me, ok...ya?

pres b obombaklaart said...

@"dozy" dave dachshund (part two)

"but it's trident, you see...president obombaklaart needs someone to hold onto his mighty explosive missile"

it's only on lease, remember, davy, hunny - so make sure you adhere closely to the relevant terms and conditions of our special relationship...

the world does not exist said...

it's over four weeks into the uk general election campaign, and yet i have not noticed any media coverage of any major-party-politician discussing the illegitimate war in which we are currently engaged in iraq and syria.

all our main political figures wish to continue fighting illegal wars of occupation, exploitation, and extermination - and the fact that these political leaders do not wish, or even intend, to discuss these wars is complete proof, if needed, of their criminal neo-colonial motivation, and ultimately their guilt.

on the occasion our politicians briefly diverted to discuss foreign policy for just a few fleeting instants, this was only because they were forced to do so by the inconcealable tragedy of thousands of migrants drowning in the mediterranean - a direct consequence of criminal government negligence.

nigel farage has always claimed to be against the wars in which the united states has dishonestly involved us, yet he unquestioningly supports the renewal of the trident 'nuclear deterrent', a weapon of mass-destruction, loaned to britain by the americans - and as a white-house chimp, it's a political certainty that, once in office, he will blindly follow the american president into any future immoral war for oil or other resources.

why do the extreme-left work to further the agenda of the extreme-right? said...

farage is now complaining that the bbc is has exhibited a left-wing bias in its dealings with him and his party - yet this is the same british broadcasting corporation, which consistently produces the wildly-incomplete establishment-slanted reporting, and general pro-war propaganda, that enables our increasingly fascist governments, under the wafer-thin guise of humanitarianism, to mount unethical military interventions, time and time again, in the middle-east and africa.

there may be a perception, on the political right, that national institutions, such as the bbc and the national gallery, are staffed exclusively by members of the socialist workers party - and to be fair, left-wing activism has traditionally been prevalent in the public services, where perpetual employee discontentment tends to strengthen the position of the trade unions - yet this so-called 'loony-left' tendency within the public sector is composed of full-time salaried government servants, who, in their rôle as contractual institutionalized patsies, never fail in their duty either to promote the establishment's programme of global neo-colonial disinformation, or to protect the establishment art-treasures, largely in fact owned by the world's richest and most powerful families, which are securely housed, for free, inside the national gallery.

the intimate partnership of power and ignorance - evil's mutual fan club said...

i don't understand the surprise, expressed by commentators on this page, at the abnormal proclivity for violence displayed by those in our society who claim to be 'serious' about politics; political parties and political movements inevitably attract the type of person who is seeking to engage in acts of politically 'legitimized' violence - whether this be the immoral, but officially-sanctioned, military slaughter of defenceless, impoverished foreign civilians by our government, or the indiscriminate murder of members of the public by politically motivated anti-government terrorists, or the wanton arson and life-threatening destruction of property by anti-government political protesters.

they all love violence, they do, these 'serious' political nob-heads - with a big 'p' - and don't ever forget it.

consultancy for ideological anger said...

@the intimate partnership of power and ignorance - evil's mutual fan club

it makes you wonder whether those left-wing people causing trouble, in television studios or on the streets, aren't part of a cia plot to discredit all opposition to the establishment?

playing with an open hand said...

how can the uk negotiate for a non-nuclear iran, whilst our politicians and generals still insist on maintaining a nuclear-armed capability here?

meerschaum diplomacy said...

it's a pity that, in nearly six weeks of election campaigning, no-one will bother asking the potential prime-ministerial candidates whether they would personally be prepared to order the launch of a nuclear warhead which would kill tens or hundreds of thousands of civilians - if a prospective leader's truthful answer to this question is "no", then it would clearly be pointless for that leader to maintain a nuclear arsenal as a deterrent.

would david cameron relish the siting of a nuclear capability in chipping norton, i wonder?

news of the wold said...

@meerschaum diplomacy

i'm sure cameron would cope with something so dangerously radio-active in his backyard - after all, there's already a bunker for jeremy clarkson there.

signed:

a worried sheep

spark up said...

the labour party lost the 2015 uk general election, decisively, because it defined itself by hatred: hatred of ukip (for luring away labour's racist anti-immigrant supporters), hatred of conservatives (for being conservatives), hatred of liberals (for being liberals), hatred of scottish people (for daring to wish to rule themselves), hatred of the rich (for being rich), hatred of the poor and unemployed (for being poor, unemployed, and disadvantaged under the former new labour government run by a thieving, murdering and completely corrupt rich metropolitan elite), and last-but-not-least, hatred of common non-party-political citizens (for being critical of labour and refusing to vote labour).

in reality, the labour party is the nasty party, still full of war-criminals who clinically destroyed humanity and civilization in the middle-east, yet after five years in disgrace, the labour party still cannot acknowledge its own nastiness, preferring to persecute individuals, such as myself - who simply wish to criticize the cia-controlled multi-tentacled political class which has usurped democracy in britain - instead of concentrating on the job of building a fairer society.

following labour's electoral defeat, watch how members and activists blame their party's parliamentary demise on every cunt under the political sun, except themselves and others working within the irreproachable socialist machine.

i did not wish to see david cameron returned to power, however, i've been personally subjected to illegal labour-linked political persecution, surveillance, and intimidation for nearly the last ten years - so the labour party need not expect any sympathy from me, now that it is being forced to serve a minimum ten-year period in disgraced exile; obviously, judging from the election result, i am not the only person to find local labour bully-boy tactics fundamentally disgusting - labour activists truly believe that they can coerce others to their point of view, by any means, legal or illegal, moral or immoral.

crucially, the cia has carefully manœuvred the right-wing british government of its choice into absolute power - by covertly inciting a vicious fringe of criminally motivated left-wing extremists to discredit and violently undermine the integrity of the united kingdom's entire political left.

the electorate has voted on the performance of the labour party .

verdict:

too immature to govern the country.

the anti-discriminative-rage league said...

i hear bad-loser labour-supporters, mostly white, non-starving, middle-class, from nice comfortable homes, have been out causing a bit of aggro near downing street today - now, it's a penny-to-a-pound that, if they'd been old enough to walk-and-talk at the same time, these brainless fuck-heads would also have cheered the mass-murderer tony blair into power, in 1997, or president barack obama, in 2008, before he furthered his glamourous career by killing thousands-upon-thousands of non-american civilians, especially the muslim variety - including a whole heap of women, children, and old-folks - strictly in order to protect good, christian americans from evil...unless of course those americans happened to be black, or poor...in which case they would've more likely been slung in prison, executed by lethal-injection, gunned down defenceless on the street by innocently armed death-cops, or sent out to extremely horrible deaths in afghanistan, as ideologically suicidal soldier-boys.

not principled, not conscious, just violent said...

@the anti-discriminative-rage league

people who protest violently don't want justice, just power.

the left and its divine right to rule said...

so how does a bunch of arrogant crooked murdering lying cheating thieving usa-nob-sucking euro-gravy-slurping posh-twats effectively criticize a bunch of arrogant crooked murdering lying cheating thieving usa-nob-sucking euro-gravy-slurping posh-twats? that is the question...

...for the remnants of the labour party, following last week's purge at the general election.

they'll probably all get into an indefinite ideological huddle and attempt to work that little one out, the thick self-serving cunts, instead of standing down en masse out of respect for the common working people they have betrayed wholesale, since 1997.

of course, if labour people keep smashing the parliamentary mirror because they're afraid to examine themselves in it, they will soon end up with a grand-total of at least 15 years' bad-luck, before getting a single sniff of power again.

never mind - now that the labour party has been wound up and moth-balled for the rest of eternity, the conservatives too will soon break up and disintegrate in the treacherous freedom of the horrifying political void, where in future they will have not even blind opponents to lead them along the right path to political salvation.

with the aid of their own corrupt policies, the conservatives have been trying to hang themselves for five long years now, yet the labour party has incompetently failed to notice this fact, and has never bothered to give the government the essential helping push so desperately required.

yes, from the blair era onwards, this self-righteous condescending metro-prat-elite has been telling the common man what he should, and shouldn't, say...what he should, and shouldn't, do, and even worse, what he should, and shouldn't think...

...and on thursday may 7th, 2015, the common man at last had his god-given democratic opportunity to tell these dictatorial socialist snobs where to go, and where to get off, for fucking ever and ever and ever and evermore.

good riddance to a shit-load of ignorant balls.

the accidental civil-servant (part one) said...

wow, in their long hour of need, there's plenty of helpful advice for the labour party all over the internet...

...much of it alludes to the sickeningly narrow-minded, super-self-righteous attitude of many left-wing activists and their modus operandi of indulging in campaigns of intimidation against individuals who have had the temerity to question socialist ideology.

i recently attended a meeting in parliament held in support of strike action against privatization of the national gallery - it was organized by my former trade union, the pcsu - but because my companion and i were not card-carrying members of the hard-left club at the core of the dispute, it was fairly apparent, afterwards at the pub, that the activists present wished to avoid getting into conversation with us. this lack of engagement was rather disappointing, as i wasn't there in any antagonistic capacity, although, quite frankly, in the current recession, i can't imagine that millions of impoverished, disenfranchized people up-and-down britain really give a flying fucking toss as to whether the national gallery, a free security warehouse for rothschild and company art treasures, is funded by the taxpayer, or owned by a private concern which charges visitors an entrance fee - especially given that most british people will never enter this 'nationalized' arthouse, anyway, and that the majority of visitors are foreign tourists who wouldn't object to paying for the privilege of viewing the grand collection of old masterpieces. however, having said all this, the national gallery affords a wonderful aesthetic experience, which is all the nicer for being free...

...so no, i didn't contribute to the strike-fund, it's not actually any of my business, and in any case, regardless of my sympathy for the suspended union representative, candy unwin, no-one had a whip-round, or walked out on strike, when, once-upon-a-time, under john major's conservative government, i was physically ejected, by my manager, from my civil-service office, suspended without pay, and the victim of serious attempts to constructively dismiss me - this being my reward for having blown the whistle on judicial corruption and racial discrimination within the tribunal system, and being, during a previous period, a sub-branch cpsa union representative myself.

to be honest, i never noticed this labour arrogance in the old days - unfortunately, i reckon it was given full reign under the popular euphoric fascism of tony blair, and the false prophet of freedom, barack obama himself.

(continued below)

the accidental civil-servant (part two) said...

(continued from above)

so where else did labour go wrong?

mansion tax? did not-very red edit realize that, in contrast to our greedy, repressive politicians' love of it, that little word 'tax' turns off the general electorate, rich or poor, quicker than an electric light bulb?

brand? there wasn't one, was there? oh, right-you-are, russell brand...and ed's late soirée with him...so who sucked who off then? we weren't enlightened...

basically, labour will never be equal to the job of defeating the conservatives, the conservatives will definitely have to undermine themselves, presiding canute-like over a desperately fragile, self-inflicted economy, in the manner of their witless predecessors, new labour, and then waiting for the whirlwind of world-events, such as the imminent implosion of the euro-zone, to sweep our rootless, foundation-lite recovery, and amateurishly manufactured 'growth' figures, far out into the deep blue sea.

ah, the 2008 financial crisis was not new labour's fault, was it? it was a global financial crisis, wasn't it...?

...so, if the financial crisis was global, why then did only banks in the united states and the united kingdom require bailing-out, or collapse altogether? did unrestrained uk mortgage and other forms of lending not directly contribute to our specific national financial crisis? did not the new labour government bear the responsibility for regulating our out-of-control cowboy bankers, yet let them loan us into economic oblivion, anyhow - because it was oh so politically expedient to keep the housing-bubble pumped-up to breaking-point? funny how the leftists - correctly - blame the banks for so many of our woes and social iniquities, yet absolve the bankers' partners in crime, the british government - at that time the new labour government - of all culpability? classic double-drink-think...

...just the same as that double-dealing in which dodgy left-wing activists engage - they who think nothing of snooping, spying and cheating, ripping-off the livelihood of private individuals, such as myself, but are so pathetically shocked when their precious labour party loses the election, morally subverted and irreparably discredited as it was by the unethical stench of their own dirty-tricks, unruly conduct, and utterly unprincipled, nay slimily unlawful, actions. ok, these apologies for political organizers, these thieving politically-motivated arseholes, have got the money they've defrauded from persons in similar lines to myself, they've laughed and laughed, sniggered and sniggered, bloated by the hot-air mirage of their own vaporous, halucinatory authority and embezzled dominion - royalty-like - however power will hopefully be withheld, well out of their inebriate grasp, until these communal con-artists have grown up enough to take responsibility for their under-educated, reckless, and anti-social choices, and learned to think for themselves.

yeah, don't worry about the conservatives staying in, it'll be like new labour all-over-again, without the labour party even having to lift a frigging finger, and anyway, the greedy rich idiots will soon overheat the housing-market and bust their own bubble-gum economy - the welcome side-effects of this next slump being a huge reduction in housing benefit payments, when rents drop, and more affordable homes for the youthful masses.

(continued below)

the accidental civil-servant (part three) said...

(continued from above)

however, now that crap's floated far under the bridge...who's going to become labour's new ideological saviour?

desperate dave lammy - pres b obambaklaart's man, blair's stooge, and unrepentant cia-groomed, harvard-educated war-criminal - new-labour cunt of the highest order? goes for any position available.

chukus-u-munnai - the ed miliband-supporting hypocrite who campaigned against the spread of betting-shops in his constituency, only to elicit a twenty-grand donation from neil goulden, gambling tycoon and chairman emeritus of the gala coral group, one of britain’s biggest bookmaker-and-leisure chains? so can't guess in whose pocket chuka's snugged-up, eh...? he's got that smooth-snake cia appearance - you can see him slithering his way into ten downing street from a hundred miles off, but at least he's not a war-criminal, yet...

good-god, these guys'll make lady diana double dollop look like a fucking angel - err...if you slip her into a nurse's uniform.

either of them the british obama? no, he won't be from the labour party, i feel - labour definitely need the working-class racist vote to get re-elected to government, and these two sound way too posh...

...aside from the fact that the civilian-roasting drone adventures of fry-by-wire president obombaklaart has somewhat taken the shine off the prospect of having a black prime-minister here in britain - he's kinda spoiled it for those coming after him...

...if only diane abbott and her colleagues had roundly criticized president obama's bloody neo-colonial exploits from the outset of his global reign of cia-ignited terror...well, to-be-fair, if they'd given the first african-american president any type of bollocking at all, really...we could have had just so much more respect for them, as proper human beings.

red edit said...

@the accidental civil-servant (part two)

"oh, right-you-are, russell brand...and ed's late soirée with him...so who sucked who off then? we weren't enlightened..."

well, you know...it wasn't like that at all...it was a completely mutual affair, actually...with a free-flowing exchange of err...ideas and err...all sorts of other stuff, see...

...and yeah, that should be "whom", not "who", shouldn't it? (not-to-say i'm posh or anythink, obviously...)

lady laaardidah of lordship road said...

@the accidental civil-servant (part three)

noooooooooooooo...

i'm gonna be the british obama...

i've got this whopping great big plantain i got off ridley road market which i can strap-on like a willy or keep tucked in me drawers.

how britain and america have employed ethnic-minority politicians to help build world empires said...

@the accidental civil-servant (part three)

benjamin disraeli (21 December 1804 – 19 April 1881), our only prime-minister to be jewish by ethnicity, was the 'british obama'.

disraeli was used by the british empire to prosecute imperialist wars in afghanistan and (south) africa; he was also a great mate of queen victoria.

how can we have a 'british obama' when we don't have an empire over which he can rule?

a right bill of worms said...

apparently, the conservative plan to scrap the european human rights act (in order to replace it with a british bill of rights) will breach northern ireland's good friday agreement...

...so does the new conservative government intend to allow northern ireland to leave the united kingdom?

the accidental admin officer said...

@the accidental civil-servant (part one)

i bet, having left your cushy government administrative job over a matter of principle, it makes you pretty damn fucking sick to see these right-on members of hard-left organisations, often from rather middle-class families, still working for the establishment and drawing good salaries from the public purse?

the accidental civil-servant said...

no, not really, mr accidental admin officer...

...working in the public services is one of the most miserable experiences you can imagine - it is emotionally damaging. people who work for the government are not, in general, capable of thinking for themselves - they complain endlessly about the job, but usually never leave to work in the private sector or work for themselves as self-employed tradesmen, because they are too psychologically insecure and immature. the standard of professionalism in the public services is abysmal, due to the immense difficulty involved in sacking the incompetents and dead-weights who fill the ranks. many, if not most, of those in government employment have little or no commitment to the public service ethos, on the contrary being motivated purely by money - and it is this deplorably dysfunctional situation which results in the worse-than-shit-level of service prevalent in the public sector, where the unions are as much to blame as the management for the often disorganized, decadent and disrespectful behaviour exhibited by staff when dealing with the general public, whom they are paid to serve.

sir alan sour-grapes said...

@the accidental civil-servant

yeah, public servants and politicians only know how to take money, not make money, the useless cunts.

lady laaardidah of lordship road said...

my mum helped deliver you, you ungrateful tory pillock - frankly, i wish she'd rammed you right-back-up the raasssclaaart hole you got shat out of, bwoy...

...ha, in hackney we can still remember when you used to go poncing around sporting that afro, just to try 'n fit in with the brothers...

...fuck-off arseface.

sir alan sour-grapes said...

yu dissin' me-mum yu skanki bitch?

the armchair anarchist said...

it's quite funny watching all these labour supporters going about with long grim faces and carrying half-empty bottles...

...because the way i look at things is this: one party down, only about 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 or so to go and we'll all be free from all government dictatorship for ever...

...and so now i'll take exactly the same direct action as i already did to get rid of the labour party...

...err...where's me pipe, where's me slippers, and what time's the snooker on...?

how fucking establishment can our labour leaders get? said...

@the accidental civil-servant (part three)

well, well...hailing by lineage from an inveterate anglo-irish bastion of the bourgeoisie, mr umunna's grand-dad, sir helenus milmo qc, was an interrogator for mi5 during the second world-war, a member of the prosecution team at the nuremburg nazi-war-crime trials, and later became a high-court judge. sir helenus is noted for having failed to nail the soviet spy, kim philby, during an investigation in 1951, because, according to peter carter-ruck, he was "too much of a gentleman".

sir helenus milmo's daughter was a solicitor, as was her son, chuka umunna, before he entered politics.

so basically, mr umunna, potentially the next labour leader and future british prime minister, comes from an ultra-establishment family full of lawyers.

you just couldn't make it up really.

the get blair rich project said...

oh dear oh dear oh dear...the charming chukus-u-munnai is receiving extremely firm backing from new labour war-criminals, putrid wanglespunk and tony "i-dun-deng" blair...

...should be the kiss-o'-death methinks.

tomb of the unknown war-baby said...

for me, labour will always be the party of total-race-war and dirty-tricks.

ms missile obama said...

@pres b obombaklaart

you know, i can't think why our cops in the united states choose to solve every single problem by murdering unarmed civilians...

...don't they realize that as public officials they have a duty to act as responsible rôle models...?

back on the cuntwalk said...

the labour party now faces that tricky ideological choice between fascism and communism.

blair and mandelson have returned, risen from the grave, stakes held ripped from their hearts, ready to suck the moral life-blood from british society once again - and despite having their new toy, chuka, taken from them, they have persisted in stage-managing an incongruous new labour fashion-parade on the pro-grease catwalk.

are these evil political zombies, from a bygone era, so desperately deluded by their own power that they sincerely believe they can continue to influence, manipulate and ultimately corrupt british politics for ever? when did blair and mandelson last leave the protection and privilege of their anechoic lodge to chew over the state of the nation with real working people?

can anyone recall blair, mandelson and the new labour gang achieving anything except for winning three general elections and lining their own pockets with silver?

err...yeah...so because labour's so-called leftwing leadership, under libya-bombing-enthusiast ed miliband, has proved itself unutterably shit, does this automatically make new labour good again? well, this is what blair and mandelson at pro-grease seem be implying...

...oh for fuck's sake, some socialist, who understands deep dialectical double-think, must one day explain to me exactly why, when one labour faction goes bad, another equally discredited labour faction must ipso facto suddenly re-emerge completely unblemished?

oh dear, hitler wasn't such a bad chap, really - let's have him back...

retired from the cuntwalk said...

...so then, no black faces in blair and mandelson's pro-grease line-up for the forthcoming labour leadership election...

good...

...looks like the black guys have at last twigged that you can't get to be labour-party-leader without the full backing of a pair of heinous new labour war-criminals...and that bombing third-world countries back into the stone-age don't go down too well with ethnic minority voters.

in my opinion, it's time for black and asian members of parliament to boycott the entire labour shadow-cabinet - an all-white front-bench in a multi-cultural parliament would say more than a thousand mass-protests against institutionalized racism and institutionalized race-war.

give britain's cia-controllers a blank-face not a blank-cheque to bomb black and brown people.

on the cuntwalk said...

andy bun'em

the enigma of variation - does he represent communism with the fond face of fascism or fascism with the cuddly countenance of communism? probably the perfect leader for an extremist party so terminally confused by its own extremist politics, which alternate direction, flicking from left-to-right faster than the needle on a manically depressed amp-meter.

worked at the heart of new labour darkness where his career was nurtured by evil racists like david bumpit in the home office; bun'em voted unashamedly for blair and brown's unspeakable war-crimes in the middle-east.

fantasizing about the iraq war on the andrew marr show in 2010, he stated:

"i think it gave twenty or so million people in iraq hope of a better life and you just cannot walk away from that truth, and that's so important to say"

would defend the nhs to the death, and indeed did so - as health secretary, he ignored repeated requests for a public enquiry into unusually high mortality-rates at mid staffordshire hospital, including three independent reports; bun'em and his predecessor as health secretary, alan johnson, actually rejected 81 requests to examine the high mortality-rates at the stafford death hospital, where 2,800 fatalities were recorded after alarms were first sounded in 2007.

your life and your nhs are certainly not safe in this man's hands - he obviously must be smoking something incredibly strong to reckon that he has a dead cat's chance in hell of bagging this leadership job.

cunt responsible for implementation of the identity-cards act 2006 - would've made the carrying of these government licenses-to-breath compulsory too, if he could've.

known as the "secretary of death" or "angel of death".

middle-name: "death"

spark up! verdict: far too pretty to be a serious politician, but nevertheless would make the ideal subservient hunchbacked henchman to that inseparable couple of vampiric counts, mandelson and blair.

be afraid, be very afraid.

on the cuntwalk said...

yvette snooper

like defrocked hubby ed balls, and fellow harvard student, lemmy the lemming, a very smart cia-groomed cookie.

worked for profiteers of african blood-minerals, the clintons.

pro-nukes, pro-identity-cards, pro-iraq-war, pro-mass-surveillance - in short, a full set of flashing fascist teeth, and a soul irredeemably tainted by the blood of new-labour repression and war-crimes.

all the perfumes of harrod's will not sweeten that nasty little hand.

says the iraq-war was a mistake, but voted strongly against an investigation into the iraq-war-crimes - therefore pro-cover-up...

...yeah, like most of her colleagues in parliament, treats the iraq-war as something that's all done-and-dusted, that happened in the distant past...

...but shamefully, for the decimated people of iraq, the labour-produced bloody-cia-nightmare is still actively destroying their lives and their civilization.

spark up! verdict: dangerous new-labour-camp-follower and white-house plant - in the absence of any black or brown faces, or another candidate in possession of both a first-class mind and parliamentary experience, will probably be selected as the labour-party's first ever leader to be an unconvicted expenses-fiddler.

on the cuntwalk said...

mary "third-way" creagh

worked for new-labour government under on-the-run war-criminals blair and brown, backed fugitive war-criminal david miliband for labour leadership in 2010; voted for military intervention in libya and syria, for trident nukes, for repressive new-labour anti-terror legislation, and for a new-labour government cover-up of the iraq war - obviously not too fussy about who her leader is...as long as the cunt drops lots of big bad depleted-uranium bombs on civilian arabs and africans.

wants to prevent black war-criminals from rwanda being permitted to live in britain without the threat of prosecution - but is completely cool about white war-criminals like tony "bloodlust" blair residing here, unindicted, at great expense to the taxpayer.

all-in-all, does not seem very keen on extending human rights to black and brown people.

very strong on protecting badgers tho'.

as former chair of the labour movement for europe, probably angling for a free gravy-train-ticket-for-life in brussels.

previously parliamentary private secretary to wannabe war-crim andy bun'em - went on to be a whip.

spark up! verdict: fully on-board cia plans to spread united states imperialist terror across the globe - not worried that the cia has funded free-flowing jihadism from libya to syria, not worried that western-favoured war-criminals who are mates with tony blair and the clintons, and currently in government in places such as rwanda and congo, can do what the fuck they want. if this trendy socialist gets into power, expect more illegal and immoral wars against those not of a particularly white disposition.

libertarians will definitely find themselves in very hot water under the premiership of this awfully authoritarian blair-babe.

on the cuntwalk said...

kendall bint cake

the candidate of choice for those put-off by scary socialist women with short hair-cuts.

pro uk military intervention overseas to keep wogs in their place, pro trident nukes, pro massive defence spending, pro fucking-up libya, pro fucking-up syria - basically pro-war and weapons, so must be the darling of american neo-colonialists.

blair's best bird, supported by blair posh-boys messrs tristram hunt - whose daddy was bunked-up to lordship-level by tony blair - and chuka umunna - the blair-mandelson kidnap-case.

special adviser to the new-labour government, worked behind the scenes from the very birth of new-labour and was therefore in the thick of its bloody war-crimes - assisted harman, 1996-98, and then hewitt, 2001-2007. influential, under new-labour, in the department for social security, the department for trade and industry, and the department for health, you can justifiably say that this little madam has already played her fair share in fucking up britain - including the ambulance service, where she worked as director of the ambulance services network, a professional umbrella body, after getting chucked out of government with blair and hewitt in 2007.

gal-unit of acceleration or gal-class submarine?

whatever, the gal got form.

spark up! verdict: with no immediately discernible parliamentary record, the perfect brand for new-labour...

...yes, you just can't get enough at first, but then almost immediately start to feel sick of the sight of it.

beware:

certainly a key cia operator.

sure to leave this country an ambulance case.

god only help the poorer countries...

hilly clitnot said...

first woman to be president of the usa, 2017...

first female prime minister of the uk, 2020...

first mayoress of london, 2016...

...and maybe still a queen of england hangin' in there...

just can't wait...

...coz that could be a very special relationship indeed...

mmmmmmmmmm...

on the cuntwalk said...

jeremy votebin

a chilling advert for the image-atrophying consequences of austerity.

looks like david blunkett with the advantage of a twenty-second make-over.

loony-lefty to-the-core.

grammar-school education.

sensibly supports a non-british northern ireland, but stupidly allowed his beard to get rather too intimately entangled with ira-man gerry adam's own grizzly growth.

radical anti-apartheid campaigner from time.

anti-nuke, anti-racist, anti-austerity, anti-blair, anti-new-labour, anti-war, anti-identity-card, anti-grammar-school, anti-american-arse-licking, anti-toff, anti-comb...

...would probably be anti-himself, if that were politically achievable.

believes he can reverse climate-change, because it's anthropogenic (man-made), or so he claims - and bravely holds this view against the expert advice of brother piers, who is an alternative weather-cock...err pardon...forecaster.

...but at least he never voted for a fucking war.

spark up! verdict: possibly being used as a left-wing-beard to make the other, fascistic, leadership candidates and the now predominantly fascist-leaning labour-party look good.

as the future elected leader of the uk, would splash-out on benefits for all and over-tax business, but at least he wouldn't drag us into any socio-culturally or economically self-destructive wars.

would be in a prime position to swop confidential and socially-sensitive face-fuzz-management tips with islamists.

the jezzabin said...

it will be interesting to see how many labour mps decide, in protest at this latest new-labour coup, to bin their leadership vote in the jeremy's urn.

in any case, the labour leadership contest has now been rigged by new-labour so that real left-wing candidates cannot even get onto the ballot paper.

one wonders why the labour party does not have another witch-hunt against militants - much as it did under michael foot and neil kinnock in the 1980s and 1990s - only this time around targeting the new-labour militants who conspired to bomb and slaughter so many civilians in the middle-east.

on the cuntwalk said...

the labour deputy-leadership contest:


ben "the traffic warden" bradshaw

confirmed new labour war-criminal who defended car-parking fees in hospitals, which were described as a "tax on the sick" - voted for trident-nuclear-holocaust, for the iraq war, for an iraq-war cover-up, for the destruction of libya, for government snooping, and for repressive anti-terror laws.

spark up! verdict: blair's bitch.


stella greasypole

typical aristocratic oxbridge-educated fascist and wannabe war-criminal, likes to lock-up common scum who insult her - voted for the destruction of libya, for an indefinite war of neo-colonial mineral exploitation and civilian slaughter in syria and iraq, for trident-nuclear-holocaust, and for snooping, big-time.

spark up! verdict: this pretty little establishment plant with cia-petals will vote for anyone or anything if it gets her further up the ladder.


angela illeagal

new-labour war-criminal, former opposition-whip and then government minister - voted for the iraq-war, for an iraq-war cover-up, for trident-nuclear-holocaust, for indefinite neo-colonial war, mineral exploitation and civilian slaughter in syria and iraq, for government snooping, and for anti-terror repression.

spark up! verdict: evil fascist chess-player.


caroline flint-face

former new-labour government minister and war-criminal, the unrecalcitrant epitomy of new-labour intransigence, brutality, and criminality - voted for the iraq-war, for the iraq-war cover-up, for indefinite neo-colonial war, mineral exploitation and civilian slaughter in syria and iraq, for trident-nuclear-holocaust, for widespread government-snooping, and for anti-terror repression.

anti-magic-mushroom.

spark up! verdict: expenses-fiddler who became the hard face of fascism.


jack the heel

new-labour government minister and war-criminal - voted for the iraq-war, for the iraq-war cover-up, for the destruction of libya, for indefinite neo-colonial war, mineral exploitation and civilian slaughter in syria and iraq, for trident-nuclear-holocaust, for widespread government-snooping, and for anti-terror repression.

spark up! verdict: a cog-in-the-wheel of neo-colonialism.


tom "et tu toadie" watson

new-labour government minister for defence and blair war-criminal - voted for the iraq-war, for the iraq-war cover-up, for further war in afghanistan in 2010, for trident-nuclear-holocaust in principle, for widespread government-snooping, and for anti-terror repression.

spark up! verdict: expenses-fiddler who rose to become tony's "top toadie", only later to betray blair.


crushanarab ali

resigned from the labour front-bench as a shadow-minister for education in order to abstain from the vote on military action in syria and iraq - voted for the destruction of libya and gaddafi, for widespread government snooping, against anti-terror repression, but has never voted on maintaining our capability to deliver a trident-nuclear-holocaust.

suspiciously being backed by blair-babes and wannabe war-criminals, chuka umunna and tristram hunt - also has the support of new-labour super-sleaze-merchant, keith vaz.

spark up! verdict: very confusing allegiances, oxbridge-educated raw-establishment-material, probably allowing herself to be quitely groomed by new-labour as a potential war-criminal - this being essential in order to have any chance of making a career in this sick party of extremist-muslim-haters and racists.

there was an old party which swallowed a lie said...

yvette cooper is supposed to have said of liz kendall that she had "swallowed" the conservative manifesto...

...however, this is a strange comment, given it's abundantly clear that the conservative party has, with a little help from its sharp ukip teeth, swallowed the labour party, whole.

if there is to be a comprehensive set of new-labour candidates showing at the forthcoming leadership-ballot, and no proper left-wingers permitted to stand at all, i reckon we can justifiably redefine the labour party as politically conservative.

in fact, diane abbott only made the ballot-paper last-time-around, in 2010, as a consequence of the post iraq-war guilt-syndrome which was widely afflicting new-labour war-criminals.

chuka umwonga said...

my word, they're all c-list wannabes, init mate?

ringo roses said...

yeah, if blue-meanie-labour takes over, i think we can safely say that the socialists are officially conservative man.

the left-wing do not have the wit to induce political change without resorting to violence said...

the blair-couture barbarism of new labour's neo-fascist-colonialism should come as no surprise - the left-wing of the labour party, like its right-wing whilst in government, has always ignorantly employed violence in order to effect political change, apparently oblivious to the fact that violent revolution against violent oppression represents no change at all, just a new brand of polish on the jackboot.

the unenforceable poll-tax (or community charge) was always dead-in-the-starting-blocks, and universally deemed a political failure well before implementation; the redundant and gratuitous poll-tax riots of 1990 marked the beginning of poll-tax collection, yet it was a nationwide campaign of civil-mass-default which in fact heralded the end of this ignorant imposition and sealed its untimely fate. after a term of intellectual obstinacy, the conservatives learnt, to their cost, that the general public considered it thoroughly unfair to tax the poor equally with the rich, without, of course, first abolishing the institutional discrimination of the british class-system, which comprehensively prevents the poor from ever becoming rich - with the honourable nob-sucking exception of individuals such as thatcher, major, curry, prescott, straw, blunkett, fox, and clarke.

the violence of the 1984-85 miners' strikes achieved nothing - save for death, destruction and disenfranchisement.

the london austerity riots of 2011 achieved nothing - save for death and destruction - and certainly not an end to austerity, or any form of social revolution.

the 1980 riot in st paul's, bristol, the 1981 riot in chapeltown, leeds, the 1981 riot in handsworth, birmingham, the 1985 riot in handsworth, the 1991 riot handsworth, the 1981 riot in brixton, the 1985 riot in brixton, the 1995 riot in brixton, the 1981 riot in toxteth, the 1985 riot in toxteth, and the 1985 broadwater-farm riot in tottenham, all did nothing to end racially-motivated police violence against black british people.

sir bernard hogan-howe, the commissioner of police of the metropolis, admits that the police and the judiciary are institutionally racist - but what he conveniently omits to mention is that the entire judicial and law-enforcement system is irredeemably and institutionally bent.

sir bernard hogan-huff said...

if other people think i'm an institutionally racist paedo-protecting pig, then i am.

i don't think people often understand what the term means.

is kommissar combin about to part the 'red' sea and set his people free? said...

in a party of elite fascists, for elite fascists, jeremy combo doesn't stand a fucking hope-in-hell of securing from labour members of parliament the 35 nominations required to qualify for the labour-leadership ballot, and even if he gets anywhere near the cut, the sleeping fascist flunky, john cryer, chair of the parliamentary labour-camp party, will make sure that comrade combo is somehow prematurely elbowed out of the race - as per the strict instructions of his cia-handler and relative, rachel reeves, a budding american-imperialist war-criminal, who votes for any war going.

does anyone really believe that reeves would now be on the labour front-bench, if she had not voted enthusiastically for the decimation of libya and for perpetual cia-stage-managed oblivion in syria and iraq?

does anyone really believe that cryer would have become the chairman of the parliamentary labour party, if he had not first passed muster by voting for aerial islamist-minding in isis-land?

of course, to be absolutely fair, it has to be mentioned that combo and his supporters, such as diane abbott, are classed as official fascists too - because, for some obscure reason, they're all still fully-paid-up members of the new-labour-fascist party.

fracas - the free advisory, conciliation and arbitration service said...

comrade combin commands considerable grassroots support in the labour party - and remember it's the rebellious rank-and-file who actually elect the labour-leader...

...if combin makes the ballot he is sure to win it - if he doesn't, the labour party will be split asunder, forever.

independence - the thirst slaked by bevvies and betrayal said...

@"dozy" dave dachshund (part two)

ms nucula stengun of the secret nuke project is already cozying up to the white house administration in the united states - so when freedom-crunch-time comes, and the snp-leader is forced to choose between independence and power, we now know she'll swiftly sell-out her people's political opposition to the trident nuclear-deterrent.

like her scottish nationalist party-members, ms stengun is gagging for power - and if you're in any doubt, it's the americans who sell it.

so far, nucula's only got power on a popular promise - not the hard stuff from the washington barrel.

comrade corbi said...

@is kommissar combin about to part the 'red' sea and set his people free?

hail...colleagues, citizens, comrades, lend me your shears...

...i think my beard needs a tiny trim down the left-hand-side...

well, yes, amazed really to make the cut-off-line for the labour leadership ballot...

...i don't know precisely which contributory campaign-factor finally tipped the balance over in my favour...whether it was the short-sharp-kick i deftly delivered to the parliamentary labour party chairman's goolies, or dame diana double-dollop's kind and charitable offer to let any mp who nominated me have a without prejudice schnork on her tits...

...but what's for certain is...that the only thing red about john cryer is his ruddy hair...

...especially since he came under the malign, imperializing influence of the cia-planted reeves sisters...

...not that i'm against sisters, or even sistas for that matter - indeed, i've recently become acutely aware of the urgent momentum gathering behind the campaign for a woman to head our party, and quite frankly, i believe it's high-time we now had a female in charge of the labour party, say, or a gay guy, or a black fella, or sista, obviously...

...and in order to redress this deplorably victorian situation of a labour-party dominated by old white men, i herewith propose to undergo a simultaneous sex-and-race change operation, such that i will become the first black-lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender labour party-leader - and hopefully, in time, prime-minister - ever to grace the holy and hallowed despatch-box in the house of commons.

communism is not a solution to fascism - but a punishment for it said...

@comrade corbi

yes, cryer has definitely changed his anti-war-tune since skinning-up with barrister ellie reeves, who is a partner at oh parsons solicitors, a member of the labour party's national executive committee, and the sister of rachel reeves, shadow secretary of state for work and pensions.

although cryer voted against the iraq-war in 2003, he has, more recently, voted for the destruction of libya in 2011, and, as you say, "aerial islamist-minding in isis-land",, in 2014...

...but back on the subject of the labour-leadership beauty-pageant, is it not a rank indictment of the current labour party's lack of integral political depth that some worn-out old red flannel, such as yourself, comrade, appears more exciting, appealing and fresh to grassroots labour supporters, and the public, than the shallow state-sided array of pretty young guns which tony air-strike and peter meddlesome served up to us?

the conservative press have correctly analysed that the labour party's essential problem lies not in it being insufficiently leftist, but in its superficially repressed desire to veer way-too radically to the political right, far beyond the point on the scale at which david cameron ponces pathetically around as prime minister, for example...

...and this is why a hard-left leadership is now required to re-calibrate the labour party's corrupt political compass, and act as an anti-fascist form of social insurance-policy against britain being dragged into yet another devastating, illegal, neo-colonial war of execrable overseas exploitation - bearing-in-mind that our newly-elected prime-minister, david came-along, is a simple nudge-over for any president of the united states, not-to-mention soft play-dough-fudge in the hands of the next likely white-house incumbent, hillbilly clintwood, who can get up in the morning and, with a little help from her evil oil-greedy fixers in the cia, have a civil-war raging in africa, or the middle-east, by noonday-dinnertime...

...just like she already did single-handedly in libya, syria, nigeria and even to-a-fair-extent in somalia.

a guide to hillary's human hell-hole said...

@communism is not a solution to fascism - but a punishment for it

the conservatives are pretending they'd welcome comrade combo as leader, because then labour's chances of grasping power would be right scuppered for at least another decade...but in fact they don't get it - the people behind combo aren't after power, they're only interested in protecting this country, and the world, from a vicious virulent strain of american imperialism, which endangers and ultimately defeats the whole of humanity.

the shivery truth is that the conservative government and the white house administration in america are scared fritless about a beardy old communist coming to prominence, and possibly power, in the uk, because this would throw a spanner in their deranged elitist works toward a neo-colonial neo-liberal neo-feudal neo-conservative neo-cunt nightmare of total race-war and global exploitation of weak and under-developed populations.

hilly clintwood is just an ultra-evil gobby girl-scout who has gained all the badges for backwoods barbarism, and possesses the highly-honed switchcraft skills which enable her to rub the cia and al qaeda together in order to flare up a brutal civil-war from nowhere.

comrade combo said...

@comrade corbi

yes, i think, in summary, i can assure the general electorate that my policies aim to satisfy the man in the street.

pc fuckoff said...

@a guide to hillary's human hell-hole

'ello 'ello...

indeed, i believe you are absolutely correct in your assumptions, sir - the americanos are - how shall i put it? - 'crapping-it' on account of rampant neo-communism sweeping through merry-ole-england like wildfire in the political bracken. obama thought it was the scots who would be the reds under the british bedrock, but that was simply a ruse, it seems, because they're now sucking at the white-house power-point like no-one's business, and it turned out to be the president's own mates in the labour party who have about-turned against him.

frankly, i shan't be at all surprised to hear that the cia have framed-up mr combo on a rape-charge with a down-trodden immigrant chambermaid and bag of dope, in a dodgy bed-and-breakfast, in bognor.

good-day, ladies and gents.

comrade combo said...

@pc fuckoff

wow...sounds far more fun than being leader of the labour-party.

miss shandy barker - special undercover-ops branch said...

@pc fuckoff

"frankly, i shan't be at all surprised to hear that the cia have framed-up mr combo on a rape-charge with a down-trodden immigrant chambermaid and bag of dope, in a dodgy bed-and-breakfast, in bognor."

to-be-fair, i reckon the us government's overseas subsistence budget would probably stretch to a couple of cans of skol-super-strength too...

...i'm just so shocked they got special-agent michelle over here so sharpish...

...really shows how seriously the white house is taking this combo-coup situation...

...either that or the lady's itching to get on the job...?

mad red bull said...

with greece about to pull the plug on the euro-economy, shortly followed by the entire western economy disappearing down the drain-of-no-return in hot pursuit, i would reckon that, for the majority of us, communism might be a fairly safe bet in the near future...

...and so comrade combin might not be such a crazy choice for labour-leader and potential prime-minister of the uk, after all.

brock briton said...

comrade combo must prevail and rise to lead the labour party - he is the only chance the british people now have to prevent tony blair from continuing to control the labour party, and ultimately parliament itself, via his unpleasantly virulent new strain of the new-labour virus.

bun'em, snooper or kendall-nagasaki would each be disastrous as labour-leader, and if any of these three stooges is elected, we can expect to be interminably lectured, by a condescending, middle-class, metro-political elite, on how and why we, as british citizens, should integrate with one another - whilst the unethical lecturers themselves continue in their absolute arrogance to callously integrate cluster-bombs, drone-shells, and cruise-missile shrapnel, with the heads and limbs of babies and children, who have done nothing wrong save be born muslim in a muslim country, where there happens to be found oil.

the youngsters in the labour-party, and i mean those untainted by blair, new-labour and the iraq-war, require more time to gain parliamentary experience before they can assume the amount of power afforded to an opposition leader...

...bur first, blair must, metaphorically speaking, be buried six-foot deep in bucks country-bullshit, where he can do us, as a nation, no more harm either politically or morally.

stella greasy-pole the next-but-one labour-leader? really? no, this posh champagne-slurping cow - related-to-royalty rather, you know - would be a class-one example of the schizoid liberty-taking lecturer - as mentioned in paragraph two above - who would self-righteously castigate us uneducated plebs over everything from claiming benefits, to culturo-politically impolite behaviour, to bad language, yet meanwhile, between happy-hours in the multi-cultural wine-bar, would think nothing of bombing civilians - although only the brown and black variety, mind - back into the stone-age, if they weren't condemned by western progress to that era already.

you guessed it, stella creasy has eagerly voted for every war, at every opportunity - and be in no doubt that blair has this poisonous little pit-viper pencilled-in as the first british woman prime-minister, who will lead us into the next 'essential' war against funny-coloured people, when they show the bare-faced-cheek to demand fair payment from white-folks for their precious oil.

we are all just ignorant scum-shit to stella.

kremlin insurance services said...

your greedy rogue-landlord pushed your rent too high? call comrade combo, he'll flatten the cunt.

your doctor won't see you until sometime next-month? call comrade combo to visit your general practitioner and 'rearrange his appointment-schedule'.

prinz fillyspit said...

whilst out doing the shopping, what...?

...the first lady of the unentitled states is simply winding the royal family up methinks...

...surely she knows how the queen just hates it when black people drop in for tea anytime they like...

...you see, her royal highness lives in mortal fear of being invited back to 'chill' on the steps of the white house, or partake in some other equally ghastly american custom...

...and personally, i fear the excitement could all be rather too much for the old dear.

caretaker combin said...

if the cap fits...

uk untaxed said...

personally, i reckon that jc the binman is the bloke for the job. it's about time we were blessed with a politician who does what he's paid to do: sort out rubbish. me, i'm sick of sorting out my own bastard rubbish into 57 different varieties of recyclable trash, so that bent local councillors can flog it all off at an ecologically friendly profit, for themselves.

our current democratically-elected crop-of-crap, the festering lumps of party-political faecal-matter, sitting pretty as token politically-correct turds on the soft, quilted benches of the westminster sewage-plant, is totally fucking useless. take duncan dudu smith, georgy odborn,and dave dog-brain cameron, for example, the guys who claim to be ideologically committed to simultaneously eradicating unemployment, poverty, and the bulging british benefit burden - frankly, these intellectually perverted cunts could achieve their stated goals in a triumphant tory trice, if they were truly serious about building a better britain. yeah, instead of viciously threatening us with prison-edged inland-revenue bills in order to scrounge up our hard-earned wages, and then arrogantly insulting us when, in the midst of government-orchestrated economic collapse, we have the temerity to collect our legally due dole, why don't these three sponge-gob tory pick-pockets simply co-ordinate their wet-conservative-dreams and abolish the immoral job-blot, income tax, universally? such a course of action would be guaranteed to incentivize work decisively, create full employment for the first time in generations, attract unlimited international investment into the united kingdom, and summarily wipe out a major portion of the welfare bill - yet our ruling class are too addicted to tax-money, and have an enduring love for tax-men and unrequited civic repression, it seems.

by removing citizens against their will from the benefit-support-system, dunderhead smith and company are disingenuously forcing the vulnerable in our society to join alternative sub-support-networks - either the criminal underworld, or the 'british resistance', or even the increasingly popular islamic state - and what our bling-blinkered prime-minister has definitely not considered, is the extent to which many of these alternative support-networks are controlled by avowed personal enemies of his - such as russia. how would dave "the dachshund" cameron be able to look his wife and family in the eye were he, by default, to prepare the killing ground for russian intelligence to inspire and fund a savage revolution in these our sacred isles - an uprising similar to that which mi5 and the cia themselves destructively incited in libya, syria, and the ukraine, for instance?

does the conservative government actually wish to see bloody civil-war rip-apart our big top-heavy society? does the prime minister really want to see oxford, the city of spires, become the city of fires, the dresden of england, our ancient british history irreversibly ransacked and ruined? does he genuinely wish to burst the hallowed housing-bubble-buy-to-let-bonanza...?

...and in much-the-same self-destructive vein, do dave dachshund and vice-operator angela markup, as a direct result of their obsessive euro-manic ostracism policy, truly desire the tactically disastrous defection of greece to the russian-zone?

fuck knows.

all sounds like poll-tax-two to me.

quid pro ko - do not pass go said...

@uk untaxed

many working british families pay the same amount into the public purse, via income taxes, as they claim back in benefits, and absurdly, the householders in these families are compelled to spend hours-upon-valuable-hours - which could otherwise usefully be spent raising their children - filling in forms, first in order to pay this money to the government in taxes, and then again for the queer legal privilege of receiving that same money back again in benefits.

obviously the politicians in government who support this financially perverse system are twisted sadistic bastards, and it is no wonder that this country has become wildly dysfunctional and woefully inefficient.

in fact, i found myself in an identical fiscal position to the one above-described, around the year 2000, and as a consequence politely pointed out this systematic idiosyncrasy to tony blair's government, further proposing that we 'call it quits' in order to avoid undue personal form-filling and public expense, but, after i failed to pay my income taxes and discontinued the relevant benefit claim, the thick fascist cunt just took me to court, threatened me with imprisonment, and then proceeded to make me bankrupt, and i have not worked for the 12 years which have since elapsed.

mr bun the baker said...

@uk untaxed

although i would hazard a guess that your tax-cutting proposals are probably totally uncosted, i suppose it would also be fair to observe that, in a country proudly saddled with a £1.5 trillion debt, our politics are considerably more dictated by ideological principle, and blind democratic faith, than by any real day-to-day concern with balancing the books at the exchequer...

...so why not abolish income taxation, then sit back and watch the welfare-bill gradually being wiped-out as common people choose remunerative work over sun-bathing on the slag-heap?

socialists believe in social-security for all, bugger the cost, so why shouldn't conservatives believe in freedom to work, for all, and bugger the cost?

if conservatives were true conservatives, they would have abolished income-tax, for all, long ago - but the fact is that conservatives have no proper principles these days, save for elitism, snobbery, and shitting in the faces of the underprivileged and disenfranchized.

of course, the conservatives would love to 'balance' the books by abolishing benefits for all, but that will never wash in the laundrette of public opinion whilst they also insist on reinforcing the traditional british class-system, which restricts life's opportunity to the specially chosen few, to the tangible disadvantage of those whom they still prejudicially view as the 'great unwashed'.

the conservatives want to have their cake and eat it - and have the proles squirt in the cream-filling for free...

...fucking stupid bastards.

enjoy.

heir of the dog said...

what's the chance that osborne and duncan smith remove the super-sized hand-outs of housing-benefit which they are paying direct into landlords' bank acccounts, and as a consequence, crash the artificially inflated housing-market - an unashamed creation of government - thus enabling mr joe-average-worker to afford ownership of a home in an area where there is the opportunity of employment?

none.

the core conservative vote is built upon subsidizing the vast housing portfolios of landlords and rigging the housing-market in favour of private-property-owning speculators.

what's the chance that the british government will admit its error in encouraging clueless tourists to holiday in unconscionably dangerous places such as tunisia?

none.

disgracefully, our government will now attempt to distract public attention away from its cynical use of ignorant british tourists as cheap, expendable cover for unethical cia espionage operations, such as those currently being mounted in the proximity of libya - first, by engaging the populus in a never-ending pathetic newsround of morbid national self-pity, portraying the uk as defenceless, oppressed victim whilst the corpses of its deliberately sacrificed citizens are solemnly, stoically repatriated from unstable, unchristian lands with full self-indulgent telly-coverage, and then by flinging more high-explosive resources into a war against anyforeigner with the wrong colour skin, the wrong religion, or the wrong politics, who just happens to be standing in the wrong country at the indefinitely elongated moment in history when our conservative-liberal-new-labour coalition of neo-colonial nigger-bombers feels the overwhelming need to bang-one-out for britain in order to cultivate from the vicious seeds of resentment a freshly planted field of fundamentally-engineered enemies, armed-and-ready, raring to replace those which democracy's insatiably bloody appetite has already casually devoured in the great, greedy all-consuming cause of self-perpetuating, self-justifying expedient war.

...and in his capacity as a total tin-pot cunt, our pious and principled leader shall duly proclaim:

"where there is discord, may we bring devastation".

how the poll-tax poodle grew up to be a politically correct pervert said...

@heir of the dog

yes, drink and dogs are strictly taboo to the muslim - yet dave "the dachshund" cameron and his criminal cohort of cunt-faced corsairs still send in the dogs-of-war and force these guys to drink democracy...

...and then when there is trouble in tuppenny paradise, they doggedly insist on repeating the same old poisonous prescription, ad nauseam.

fluffer at the buffers said...

so what are these tube-strikes really all about...?

tfl-managers who don't give a hoot about public-safety...?

tube-drivers who once said that their trains would be unsafe without the employment of guards, but who, when the guards were then cut, carried-on operating those tube-trains, anyway, for salaries which were subsequently increased to 50 thousand pounds plus...?

cleaners working for the minimum-wage left on the bread-line, because they can't get to work...and mothers left standing in the freezing rain with babies-in-buggies, because they can't get on a bus...whilst extravagantly-paid tfl-managers and rail-union-leaders lounge around in their palatial offices, sipping their piping-hot caffè lattes, crunching on freshly-baked croissants, and looking forward to their cordon-bleu restaurant-dinners, all-paid-for, on public expenses...?

a labour-party bent on organizing seemingly politically-motivated strikes...?

cia-agents covertly encouraging these many and various public-sector strikes in order deviously to discredit the socialists in parliament...?

...but you know what? the solution to these never-ending trade-disputes is so very, very simple...

...yeah, just pass legislation such that, whenever union-members decide to vote-to-strike, all members of their respective trade-union and management negotiating-teams, who boast pay-packages worth over one hundred thousand pounds per annum, are automatically and summarily sacked - without further pay, perks or possibility of a pulling a pension...

...now that would concentrate union and management minds on the job of ensuring public-safety and public-service, wunnit?

piripero - parliamentary coffin-maker said...

eh? signor corbyn?

ah...si si - the man with no comb...

he always ride a mule...

and he call it errr...errr...?

haha, el mulo...he call it:

"ed".

shirty corby said...

fly the confederate flag...?

strike the confederate flag...?

what difference does it make?

frankly, i'm surprised the incumbent cowboy hasn't yet raised the rebel-flag over the white house...

...in due recognition of his globally accepted position as president of the united confederacy of america, the fifty-state-strong pariah-nation, the super-rogue-state which seeks to enslave and exploit the whole damn world, according to the lawless liberty enshrined by fundamental right in its own corrupt constitution...

...but seems the jolly-roger is still favourite.