Friday 14 February 2014

write to rant: valentine's special



without further ado, let me pass the keyboard straight-over to our most cherished and seasoned commentator, lady laaardidah of lordship road:

tonight, i am going to talk about a subject close to my heart: money...

...and well do you know what? there are neo-colonialist wars being fought all across africa and the middle-east - just to ensure that our so-called western democracies can rip-off the minerals and natural resources of impoverished third-world countries; civilian men, women and children are being murdered, raped and tortured by western soldiers and western proxy-mercenaries; whole populations are being left unconscionably poor because of cia-engineered civil-wars and exploitative western protectionist policies deliberately designed to prevent free-trade - and even in this our own nation, at least half our people have been disenfranchised from 'normal' established society, ejected, after summary state-educational psychological assessment, from the happy-slappy club of privileged political propriety, and black-listed as life-long members of the untouchable underclass by the cia, never to secure a 'good' job, ever...

...yet despite all this global deprivation, this social and economic turmoil, there's a prissy young white middle-class cow out there, miss stella greasepole mp, who's been spending time, money, and probably public resources, on a campaign to get another eternally young white middle-class cow, jane arsend, onto the back of the british ten-pound note - a paperback-writer on the back of our officially issued toilet-paper, so-to-speak...

...i'm not surprised this member of parliament, greasepole, received widespread popular abuse for her efforts - what ordinary person holds onto a tenner for long enough to notice what government-approved cunt pardon-my-patois is printed on it, anyway...?

...and now our oh-so-sensitive state is spending more time, money and public resources on protecting the honour and refined feelings of its little privileged madam, because obviously her feelings are so much more worthy than those of the pesky plebs who insulted her - what ordinary person would get this kind of service from the police and the criminal prosecution service, if slagged-off in the street, for example? is it now therefore illegal to heckle a politician in public...? especially the upper-class-upstart variety...?
...anyhow, why this literary obsession with jane arsend? does the respected mr carney engage in fantasy-wanks over her...? surely a far more suitable candidate would have been the lovely nell gwyn (this picture would do nicely
), a working-class girl who made it good and a nice choice for the boys, who would then have a real incentive to get off the dole, get off their arses and earn a few notes to save-up under the mattress, instead of blowing the lot on beer and wacky-backy...

...of course don't ask me why, but personally i would prefer to see a facety old black bag on the back of our banknotes - for the fifties it could be mary supercreole, for example, the afro-caribbean nurse who was dame florence nightygulf's long-time civil partner and darling of the empire's troops in the crimea...

...just how long do we have to wait for a black brother or sister to make it onto the back of the bank-bog-roll? it was on our black backs upon which most of the wealth was made, wasn't it...? and we certainly paid for it...

...so big hugs and valentine kisses going out to peter nunn, the guy who's being prosecuted for putting ms greasypole-dancer in her place - for all i know, he could be a misogynist wife-beating tory, although i'm pretty sure he's not...

...anyway that's not the point- the point is that we, the general public, will never know what the point of the prosecution is, because the text of the allegedly malicious message is not being published for us to read and for us to judge for ourselves...

...if mr nunn's communication were truly offensive, then why keep it an official secret? why not promulgate the terror-inducing tweet far-and-wide and simply let the rude-mouthed rascal be shamed in front of his family, friends and society-at-large? no, the state will not allow this, because this is not about cost-efficient justice - this is about teaching the filthy-tongued working scum that they must doff their caps to their silver-spooned social betters, and about showing them that the government has the power to suppress any speech which might prove upsetting to a member of the ruling political elite, in what is effectively a secret trial, the proceedings of which will only be observed by a few favoured ones selected by the inner circle...

...how can we as members of society assess whether justice is being done in this case? how can we judge for ourselves whether mr nunn's message was malicious or whether it was some sort of rather dark joke? why should we be paying for such a costly public court case when in fact all expression is self-regulating at the point of delivery and inevitably receives a rapid counter-balancing reaction in the form of equally rugged words, as is appropriate...?

...and now i must turn to mr old holborn and give him my sincere thanks for supporting mr nunn in his committed mission to liberate the confined mentalities, emotionalities and vocabularies of our educationally and professionally challenged superiors, but no hugs and kisses, mind - since he is a libertarian who does not believe in the freedom of movement, via migration, and has also omitted in a most discriminatory and islamophobic manner to take up the cause of mr royal barnes and his wife rebekah dawson of hackney, who have likewise been charged under laws restricting their right to freedom of expression...

...now, islamic extremist patrols here in britain, however distasteful, simply constitute a negative emotional reaction to christian military democracies which use armed force to impose their values upon muslims in sovereign countries abroad - and these oppressive patrols on our streets are clearly also a direct reaction to attempts by our domestic authorities to impose bans on certain religious practices, such as the wearing of burkhas...

...now, whilst i denounce physical intimidation and aggression as a means of imposing one's personal religious values upon others, i must, in the name of multiculturalism, defend to the depths of my social conscience, the right of those with whom i disagree to say their piece...

...and in the strange case of mr barnes and his wife, whilst i despair for their manners and civility, i must respect their right to communicate and express their deep emotions in respect of the murder of mr lee rigby in woolich - in the name of a happy functional multicultural community imbued with equal opportunities, we must permit muslims to glorify the murder of british soldiers in britain, just as we allow our own political leaders and soldiers to glorify the murder of muslim combatants in foreign countries. we must also accept that muslims may wish to incite others to murder british soldiers in the defence of muslim lands - for in truth, had conversely this couple been speaking in parliament and incited british soldiers to murder muslim combatants in a foreign muslim country, they would surely have been promoted to cabinet and could even have risen to the rarified respectful rank of prime minister...

...nevertheless, i might add, that it's not actually possible to incite someone else to murder or carry out an act of terrorism - as this action is strictly an individual choice - and a 'terrorist publication' is more familiarly known as mere 'propaganda' in westminster circles...

...in summary, by silencing citizens' disgust at policies, our ministers and members of parliament are obviously attempting to hide from their own immorality - and this is why the public tends to utter its sentiments so viciously...

...it serves no purpose for greasypole to make this guy a scapegoat other than to promote herself and to advance her own political career by show-trial...

...fundamentally, the nunn and barnes-dawson cases are comparable in that there is exactly the same principle of free speech which lies at stake and to prosecute these malcontents achieves absolutely nothing in a world split between observers who already either wholeheartedly concur or differ with the positions held by the persons accused - the evidence here is sealed from public inspection and the judgment completely subjective, thus rendering the proceedings both anti-democratic, anti-judicial and singularly political; the only result of these court-hearings will be to anger the already angry within our communities and to squeeze out a possible outbreak of real violence - but naturally this type of reaction is precisely the unethical excuse for which our police-state itches in order to crack-down on those who dare to highlight its failings...

...you know, perhaps the most efficacious way to deal with mr nunn would be to strike his image upon pound-coins and then inscribe his tweet around their edges...?

...as i mentioned above, the matter-at-hand resonates with me incredibly profoundly, since, whilst serving in the labour shadow cabinet, i myself suffered the severe indignity of being gagged by the parliamentary press-gang, largely as a collateral consequence of refusing to suck mr obama's double-headed willy - although of course it would've been nice to have been offered the opportunity.



ll