Friday 1 March 2013

spark up! beastly bye-election special



...and in a constituency where the number-one topic of conversation was race...err sorry i mean immigration...the officially ratified contest results for talking-about-immigration-without-being-racist are as follows:

1st:  liberally demoralized party (scoring 32%)

2nd:  manic street protest party  (scoring 28%)

3rd:  cunts                                   (scoring 25%)

4th:  arseholes                             (scoring 10%)

ah well mmm yes...the winners pulling off a remarkable victory there considering they spent the bulk of their time and energy trying to talk about lord grinhard without giving an actual physical demonstration of punching his head...for despite disaster looming, campaign organizers nevertheless rallied courageously to the liberal cause and cleverly co-ordinated to exploit a loophole in local regulations allowing the not-really-racist-card to trump the sex-card...

...and also a good showing for the radicals seizing second place, the politically unkempt party - i hear they have signalled the start of the bronze revolution by setting fire to barbecues across the european riviera...

...and then third place...oh dear...what with the liberal heirarchy laid-out in hospital on a life-support machine after inopportunely falling victim to a vicious internecine drive-by incident...very disappointing, the ruling tribe must feel thoroughly ashamed of themselves...

...and finally...not making the podium this time 'round...a party which will be rapidly seeking to woo the conservatives into a coalition of contrasts in order to keep the new-suits factor out of power...

so no, it's not racist to talk about immigration, although preventing the romanian race from accessing opportunities equal to those enjoyed by all other european races would, on the face of it, appear to be a dab dodgy ethically...perhaps however we're looking at this problem the wrong way around...you see, european immigration legislation discriminates wholesale against all non-european races: the african one, the american one, the australian one, the asian one, and that one to which people who are born on pacific islands belong...and perhaps therefore we should be asking not how we can make the romanian race equal to all the non-european races of the world, but rather how (in the interests of a global free-market) we can make all the non-european races of the world equal to the european one...

...just a thought...

...and here's another: is the conservative party a christian one?


11 comments:

vice-captain of the titanic said...

look it's not fair to make out that the liberal party is the only guilty one here...the other parties are equally at fault...it's just that the others exercize a strict policy of recruiting only yes-women...whilst we liberals have chosen to pursue a policy which refrains from using the whip.

captain blogwash (a disinterested spectator) said...

aha...they both be chained to the helm me hearties...

hot-house conversion said...

...and now over to another internationally important election, in the vatican - where the emergence of a gay enclave in the conclave has left african cardinals with their backs against the wall in the war on papal perversion...betting is currently evenly spread in the race to don the world's silliest soddin' hat...but taking a look at the novelty punts spinning-off from the historic hustings, it's apparently odds-on that more gay cardinals will leave confinement in the sistine chapel than originally entered it, in the beginning...

the patron saint of spare-bedrooms said...

"is the conservative party a christian one?"

god knows...but put it this way, the cross in the parish church of st swithun's, swanbourne, must surely be hanging upside-down if iain duncan satan is allowed to 'worship' there...

four-way forecast said...

look, predicting the outcome of the next general election is a piece-of-cake...

the right is split between ukip and the conservatives (coz cameron's not quite fascist enough), the left is splitting asunder (coz miliband's too fascist), and despite recent re-emergence, the liberals' fortunes are now on the wane due to endemic criminality, sexual exploitation and power-greed. it's gonna be a coalition between ukip and the conservatives - with ukip promising reduced government, reduced taxation, and reduced immigration, but then selling-out as soon as they get a whiff of seats in cabinet, just like the liberals did.

according to the spectator, ukip voters are statistically proven to be uneducated thickies, although obviously boris's old bum-rag would say that, wouldn't it? furthermore, ukip is apparently a die-hard free-market party - so the africans are gonna have a field-day selling us staple crops at a fraction of the price for which our over-subsidized farmers can produce them; great-stuff - who said that ukip were racist...? i reckon that immigrants will be queuing 'round the block to vote for 'em...

below the waterline said...

like the republicans in america, the conservative party are in danger of becoming an ignorant obstinate anachronism - since the shifting tide of uk demographics has now ensured that a non-discriminative attitude towards race, culture, and class is an absolute pre-condition to being elected; no-one really thinks that obama's any use to man or beast (and to be truthful, romney was a very decent and capable candidate), but in the modern western world, having a blind-spot on race, class, or culture constitutes an automatic fail.

ram-raid politics said...

5 March 2013 15:42

if ukip as an entity is shallow and unsophisticated, then show me a political party that isn't; what ukip supporters certainly are not, is stupid - they know they have been shafted by successive governments and are set on teaching all the buggers a big lesson. where i fundamentally disagree with ukip-thinking is their obsession with immigration.

migration, like the tide is unstoppable - and, despite automatic machine-gun posts, mines, and thousands of miles of barbed-wire, even the former ddr (east germany) could not prevent the inexorable people-flow; migration-flow is dictated by cultural economic-inequality and laws envisaged to prevent it simply make a large number of migrants 'illegal' (if it is actually possible for a human-being to be illegal), which ultimately means that these 'illegals' are officially open to exploitation and abuse by unscrupulous employers whose products will eventually be sold in big high-street supermarkets etc.

it is historic discrimination against specific oppressed foreign populations which causes migration to this country and not our poxy welfare-state - which in fairness is mostly abused by our own british people and our own discriminative economy-destroying government that cynically forces citizens to latch onto the benefit-system for life.

the main culprits vis-à-vis the benefit plug-hole are governments which tax the productivity of this country to death and the private landlords they allow to get criminally fat off artificially high rents that have been super-inflated by excessively generous market-unreflective housing-benefit caps (designed scamwise to prevent the fragile buy-to-let housing-market crashing to earth and bringing general property prices down with it).

education or no education, for the right reasons or wrong, ukip are going to make utter fools out of the complacent and corrupt powers-that-be.

nf said...

despite disagreeing with his narrow views, i personally find nigle mirage a very clear and intelligent speaker who (unlike most politicians) genuinely attempts to use logic (however flawed) and good old common sense to make good his arguments - and although this may not be a popular opinion, i also enjoy, as a contrast, the intellectually rigourous (if somewhat elitist and flowery) delivery of andrew mitchell, who has of late been given a rather rough ride in certain quarters, mainly as a direct consequence of his predilection for promoting rape, ravishment, murder and exponentially ruthless exploitation in the mineral-rich provinces of eastern congo the cunt; on the other hand, i can only rate iain duncan smith as a near illiterate arsehead who can barely string a grammatical sentence together let alone a national welfare policy.

inherited ignorance said...

yes, interesting observation, nf...i hear on the grapevine that duncan smith's missus drafts all the government policy whilst leaving brain-hole to string beans in the kitchen...

...hence his notorious nick-name, "bean-head".

the mansion-smith's minimal wage romanian gardener (living in a leaky shed somewhere in swanbourne) said...

7 March 2013 15:26

yeah, seconded - what a prime fucking tit.

british bulldog said...

i gather dear old diane ah-but's been telling her leader ed bandwagon not to panda to the racist immigration lobby - good for her; of course, she's made the critical remarks in her usual half-arsed cryptical non-committal fashion - pity, wish she would of bit him in the bollocks, then i cudda licked her all-over.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr