the politicians, their cops, their robbers, and the community: how the police drew fire and caused a multi-cultural implosion

this is what you get when the constabulary cross-over into the arts and media - a superintended sketch of death and destruction, hardly a picasso tho'...

...obviously rustled-up by someone a bit lower down the bill.

so what happened? did the victim shoot first? did he shoot second? did he shoot at all? did he panic and give police marksmen an excuse to execute him? did he need to give them an excuse? did the police make their own excuses (as per standard operational procedure)? we outsiders may never know, now that the independent police complaints commission are in charge of the show. however, i reckon it's fair to say that a young man black-enough to receive a free-and-obligatory state education in police-hatred was hunted-down and rapidly reformed by politically-correct gunmen with much bigger bang-bangs than the pop-stick they already knew he had in his possession. maybe friends of the authorities put the weapon into circulation with a complimentary tracker included? who knows? nevertheless, it's worth noting that, historically, only officials of white governments are permitted to shoot-first in self-defence - just as they have done in iraq, afghanistan, libya...

and so what happened next? well, that's a whole load simpler to explain:

this smacks of a racially-righteous revenge hit against left-wing-backed gangster-tappers suspected of getting the goods on the metropolitan's media-mafia front-man murdoch - a shell-shock-case of the authorities jumping the gun on the re-introduction of capital punishment. yet the trouble is...(and here i attempt to balance the book of badness, in the interests of social justice)...many of the inner-city gang-members, who will, from force-of-habit, guarantee the common-man a life of misery, anywhere the boys of the big-blue-babylon posse fail to deliver it first, are in fact themselves natural-born hangers-and-floggers. yes, it's no great secret: our beloved gangs are engaged in a continual turf-war with the copper-crew for civic customers (to subjugate) - their members budding enforcers of their own gang-culture and regulations, wannabee busies, if you like...and here, notwithstanding the rights-and-wrongs of this individual killing, is where the opinion of the ordinary citizen drifts unconsciously towards the territorial waters where one views such events as 'gangsters fighting gansters'...and not giving a hoot unless non-combatants, women, or children are caught in the cross-fire.

(i feel similarly about the deep electronic eavesdropping, computer-hacking and surveillance to which we are now accustomed to being subjected as a matter of course. the politicians use the police, the press, and underworld gangs to gain intelligence, but naturally these prolific press-gangs have a proclivity to spy-back on their political and business masters, and each other, for 'insurance purposes', in other words, blackmail opportunities, and to satisfy their craving for staving-off a collectively cool paranoia - i don't condone it, i wouldn't wish to encourage the practice of snooping any more than i'd want to encourage a person to smoke, it's emotionally unhealthy, but only for them...unless, that is, they target non-players, like myself, and casually try to intimidate with intimate insinuation...there again, i suppose, it's only detrimental if one is insufficiently strong, psychologically, to resist the temptation to partake in the hacking habit oneself. i guess it's the same all-over the country, we are bound to meet the politically-backed-up big-gang-leader who boldly slips us the sly suggestion of what he knows about our activities and hints at how he is empowered by his unassailable ideological beliefs to bully us, whilst, in the very same breath expounding upon the catalogue of his utterly altruistic actions and his consumately charitable character.)

anyway, the right-wing press (rather suspiciously) fell over themselves in their hasty glee to promulgate an eye-witness account of the victim being pinned to the ground and then shot in the head by law-officers - and the quote was subsequently picked-up and swiftly disseminated by left-wing activists and other agent-provocateurs in order to rack-up tensions. far from being unaware of the organized violence being planned against them, the policemen, having deliberately planted a couple of tactically positioned panda-cars nearby as inviting bait, proceeded to frustrate the peaceful protest-march with an arrogant lack of acknowledgement, and finally signalled authorization for the riot by gang-truncheoning a mouthy teenage girl, who chucked an unidentified flimsy object at them. next, enraged socialist-gangs went into overdrive and descended upon the billeaguered neighbourhood from all-around london, trashing, looting and torching private premises, commercial and domestic alike - beating-up anyone seen co-operating with the fire-fighters - and the officers of natural-law just stood back and let the community give itself a bloody-good hiding. as usual, we have been privileged to observe the spectacle of police and community movers-and-shakers working in perfect choreographed disharmony to produce a slickly staged scene of carnage. when will these guys ever realize that they have been systematically infiltrated and set-up? did they really think that this was the appropriate manner to mark the death of a respected 'community elder'. no wonder david lammy looked mortally embarrassed about his own christian-gangsters vandalizing his parliamentary consituency - divine retribution for him backing the bush and obama administrations' carpet-bombing of muslim communities in the middle east, methinks.

of course, i could be reading this all wrong, as there are claims by some rioters that they were incited to rebellion by a revolutionary polar bear who ate an eton schoolboy in retaliation for the recent massacre by a right-wing extremist of young socialists in oslo; the arctic mauling was a quite horrendous incident and i convey my sincerest condolences to the student's family - it is just so terribly tragic, if there were a god, he would surely have instead arranged for david cameron to have completed his expensive education thus.

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the following comment, by the voice of obama's black conscience (i like to get things right), was deleted from a post entitled news roundup on call me ishmael:

i am being undemocratically censored by a thick fascist thug on the work beckons thread of underdogs bite upwards, but i may as well repeat the comment here, since the subject matter is equally germaine to this site:

goddamnit, something seems to be niggling at my subconscious - and a gremlin has gotten in...try the remix:

my assiduous agents of free-speech-impediment have informed me that there is much talk on these comment-threads about my policy of prolonging, promoting, and perpetuating american and european allied wars against the white man's traditional target-markets (for bullets) - however, all is not as you guys may suspect, for the honest truth is this: i am subversively giving my brothers' former slave-masters enough racial-rope with which to lynch themselves, and fully expect that every white man will reap the reflux of his recidivism. really speaking, it's a win-win race-war for me - if the black man rises up, i will be hailed as his glorious saboteurial leader, if he falls, i am well-invested and will harvest the fruit of my multinational insurance policies, and, in any case, as things stand, the chinese are inscrutably impressed with the satisfactory progress i am making in delivering contractual continental suppression.

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the following comment, by the voice of obama's black conscience (i like to get things right), was deleted from a post entitled work beckons on underdogs bite upwards:

goddamnit, something seems to be niggling at my subconscious - and a gremlin has gotten in...try the remix:

my assiduous agents of free-speech-impediment have informed me that there is much talk on these comment-threads about my policy of prolonging, promoting, and perpetuating american and european allied wars against the white man's traditional target-markets (for bullets) - however, all is not as you guys may suspect, for the honest truth is this: i am subversively giving my brothers' former slave-masters enough racial-rope with which to lynch themselves, and fully expect that every white man will reap the reflux of his recidivism. really speaking, it's a win-win race-war for me - if the black man rises up, i will be hailed as his glorious saboteurial leader, if he falls, i am well-invested and will harvest the fruit of my multinational insurance policies, and, in any case, as things stand, the chinese are inscrutably impressed with the satisfactory progress i am making in delivering contractual continental suppression.

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the following comment, by not a hacker, was deleted from a post entitled work beckons on underdogs bite upwards:

00:35

yeah, i noticed some weird stuff happening too - a few weeks back, i was visiting your blog and it appeared that i was logged-in to your dashboard, i clicked on the editing symbol (out of curiosity), but was directed to the http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifblogger sign-in page. i reckon the people intercepting my internet-connection may also be hacking into your blog - either that, or you are hijacking my ip address and blogging through it. of course, this bloggehttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifr-trouble you're talking about could all be a rather badly disguised excuse for doing sod-all for a few weeks.

ps:

i presume you deleted-delayed-then-re-entered the 'wolf-aid revisited' comment because you sold the first version to staines or some other such cunt.


i think leg-iron has something to hide - and judging by the feed i am getting from the call me ishmael site it appears that he wants me to comment on it, presumably so that he can delete me there too (again). he seems to share character traits with captain ranty. piss off.

the commission for unconditioned equality

the following entry, by nelson madela, was not deleted from the comments section of a post entitled abandon law, all ye who enter here on the underdogs bite upwards blog (presumably because, as sir trevor phillips always said, the president just ain't black enough):

ahhh...yes...mr leg-iron...a most pertinent exposition...of an age-old problem...although...for my part...i have always tended to favour...the route of...truth...and reconciliation...by whatever means necessary...let me give you an example...

now you may be...aware...that i have recently been honoured...to receive a visit...from the good lady wife...of the president of the united states...who kindly...found a window...in her heavy shopping schedule...to pop 'round...to my humble abode...for a cup of tea...very nice too...may i say...however...it probably...has not escaped...your attention...that...the first lady...was not...accompanied...by her husband...

mmm...of course...i am sure...that there were...very pressing and...expedient...reasons...for the president's...inability...to make...the trip...but nevertheless...i wish him to know...that he should not...concern himself...unduly...for disappointing...no doubt...as his...enforced...absence...is...to us both...he may rest...absolutely...assured...that...i am not ready...to...peg-it...yet...and...i fully intend...to declare...a score...which prince philip...has...no damned chance...of passing...there-fore...i wait...in great expectation...on the...honour...of...the president's...attendance...and...being cognizant...nay...i should rather...say...sensitive...to the fact...that...he is not one...to miss...a photo-opportunity...i have...ready for him...here...behind the sofa...a traditional...donga...perhaps more familiar...to the president...as a...common...or garden...african...stick...which i'll use to beat his bony raaaassclath white american backside with if he doesn't quit flying his baaambaclath fighter-planes over mi yard t'raaaass

...excuse my...jamaican patois.

sir trevor for prime minister, methinks?

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the following entry, by me, was deleted from the comments section of an underdogs bite upwards blog-post, entitled through the looking glass - and my question therefore remains unanswered:

"dear mr leg-iron,

as local area convenor for the national association of firestokers and shitstirrers it has come to my attention, following complaints from a number of my members, that there has been an outbreak of comment-disappearing-and-then-later-inexplicably-reappearing-syndrome on google blogger blogs. we have received reports of this virus occurring on captain ranty, underdogs bite upwards, and even on my own blog spark up! in my own case, the deletion was completely unauthorized and was clearly effected by a hacker of some nature - indeed, the victim, micky molewarp, recently attempted to re-enter the afflicted comment after a time-span of several months, yet the comment was again summarily deleted by the stealth of an unseen, obsessive, and presumably ever watchful hand...yes, i appreciate that 'hands' cannot, strictly-speaking, be 'watchful', but that is neither here nor there. so, to return to the matter in hand...would you, in order to assist with our union's investigations, be in a position to divulge whether your own abducted comments were the result of:

a) an underdogs bite upwards editor with unresolved identity issues?

b) national government intelligence agency activity?

c) anonymous hackers?

d) national government intelligence agencies using the services of anonymous hackers?

or

e) any corrupt combination of the above? 

ps: although, no particular fan of the organ of liberal censorship otherwise known as the guardian, i have to hand it to their measly old moderators for publishing micky molewarp's exposé, in full, in a post under my comment is free account (now sadly suspended, indefinitely)."

god only knows how much this level of continuous surveillance must be costing the tax-payer.

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the british establishment are apparently very keen to cover up the horrific manner in which our government deliberately destroys the cultures of foreign nations in order to precipitate mass immigration, which in turn provides an ever-brimming pool of cheap labour - the following comment, by ghostofnursetwatitch, was deleted by the guardian from its discussion thread on an article entitled pm wins row with nick clegg over crackdown on muslim extremists:

"imagine a status quo where no ideologically motivated religious or political group (including imperialists like the conservatives, autocrats like the liberals, authoritarians like the labour party, fascists like gizmogizmo, and pompous prats like alpussdredger) could ever gain power and control, manipulate and exploit people...what a wonderful world that would be. it's not about changing our laws to accommodate other cultures (although ideally we would be grown-up enough live without laws, or at least have laws which do not infringe on citizens' personal freedoms), it's about not invading foreign lands and destroying other people's cultures - and so forcing them to immigrate here in order to make a living. if foreigners' homelands provided settled and stable environments in which to raise families, and they were not forced to enter this country for financial or security reasons, i am sure that immigration would be much reduced, and that the few who did choose to travel here would not feel that the united kingdom owed them any favours. we need a world under the reign of common-sense, really speaking - and of course, as a former nhs matron, i would be delighted to organize such libertarian utopia."

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our security services are certainly keen to cover-up their plot to overthrow libya and siphon-off african oil - the following comment, by nursetwatitch was deleted by the guardian from its discussion thread on an article entitled libya. the observer debate: is it right to be intervening in libya's struggle for freedom?:

"now, you might think that, as a true-blue babe of the women's institute, i would be backing prime minister davey dachshund's intervention in libya to the hilt of my sawn-off rolling-pin, but in fact i'm not - because i have detected, through the good orifices of the women's intelligence service, that he's fallen under the wicked unwomanitarian spell of president obama's shirty dirty conniving co...pardon, i mean...secretary, the arch-feminist, countess hillary clintwood.

i quite agree with mr dennis j kucinich, the dates of the planned military manoeuvres, code-named, operation southern mistral, are far too convenient to be true - and, suspiciously, have coincided exactly with the onset of the united nations' armed intervention. another 'strange coincidence' is that the mistral is a french wind which derives its name from the word meaning "masterly" in the languedoc dialect of the provençal language (although i tend to think of it as french guff, like all the pro-war propoganda we've been receiving on the radio), and it will come as no surprise, to more discerning readers, to learn that the mistral is a cold dry north-to-south-oriented draft which fans ferocious forest- and crop-fires - indeed its force can even be felt as far south as the north african coastline...reckon all this is far-fetched? well, listen-to-mummy: the mistral was also a french express-train which used to run on the paris-nice railroad...and now i believe you brain-stormed bbc scoffers are beginning to get my drift...

so put all of this together with the fact that the united states have urged the military of an effectively ungoverned egypt to supply the rebels with arms, the fact that the uprising happened right-on-time, the fact that potential candidates for the rebel leadership comprise westernized libyan dissidents, the fact that commentators on these pages have all but uncovered cia inflammation of the original unrest, the fact that the western coalition is weighing in heavily to make this fabricated french coup viable, the fact that the western nations have acted inconsistently by ignoring the plight of other democratic revolutions in the arab region, the fact that mi5 has hedged its bets by covertly grooming saif gaddafi to be the next (more liberal) libyan president, the fact that saif gaddafi is now attempting to cut a deal with the united nations, and the fact that colonel gaddafi is now being painted once more (after a brief kissy-kissy interlude with tony blair) as the terrorist-king...and any damn fool (even me) can clock that this is a cynically staged-war for the exclusive benefit of western oil-craving economies...perhaps western intelligences agencies even promised gadaffi that they would stir-up the latent rebellion specifically for him to quash...the west have definitely been playing all sides here...

...and, by the way, i see that my editor-in-chief, mr al pussdredger, has been pushing the loyalist line that the tokyo earthquake was, in reality, a pre-meditated strike by anti-western forces aligned with gaddafi, but this is totally untrue - the tragic honshu island atrocity (as the intelligence agency of every major power already knows) was a false-flag operation which was carried-out, with the full provocation of the cia, by supposedly anti-western elements completely unaligned with president gaddafi - and he will soon be smeared by a tumultuous tsunami of media-detonated terror-talk.
although i realize that the western alliance is now fighting to defend the lives of civilians which their own devious underhand actions have put in peril, although (when not disinfecting the dirty talk around here) i'm an unemployed medical professional, and

although i'm none too pleased about the exquisite collection of wives and 'nurses' which the colonel has amassed, i really cannot comtemplate support for this violent interference into private african affairs and politics - many lives are being cut short and devastated, and i just do not need work that badly. surely, to ensure altruism, there should be a clause in any united nations resolution which prevents combatant intervening nations from benefiting from future oil, or other, dealings - now that would sort the prospectors from the protectors, wouldn't it?"

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the following two comments (by alpussdredger) were deleted (by mi5) from the guardian article, libya resolution: un security council air strikes vote - as it happened:

"@alpussdredger
18 march 2011 ?:??am

the tokyo earthquake was an attack by elements aligned with gaddafi - either anti-western forces or criminals attempting to rig-up oil prices and manipulate stock prices by precipitating nuclear havoc and war. the japanese disaster was triggered by drilling into the subduction-zone, nuclear detonation, and the deliberate introduction of sea-water, which caused massive adiabatic decompression leading to rock-melt in the surrounding geological fault. haiti and christchurch could have been test runs, and the gulf of mexico oil-spill a similar act of sabotage. every capital city, international stock-market, and tectonically-exposed conurbation in the pro-american diaspora is now under threat at any time - and the 2012 london olympics is a certainty for a strike. western governments are aware of this situation, and know that they are being held to ransom, yet they still jump to intervene in the affairs of other nations despite further aggravating the risk of abysmal world-war - by continuing to exercize the policy of control, exploitation and oppression which has historically made the west the coalition of enemies we see arrayed against it today. i am no supporter of despots such as gaddafi, but occupation of libya by foreign forces will not resolve the problem of this country's pre-disposal to being ruled by suppression - the people must effect this change themselves if the solution is to be a lasting one leading to a strong independent african nation, otherwise libyans will simply fall prey to some other parasitic potentate, or the sort of carnivorous cartel under which we suffer in the western-bloc. in fact any oppressed state in the world, which wishes to escape the cruel and abusive clutch of the vice in which it is gripped, must beware that it does not rush and fall into the octopus arms of another superimposed-power on the rebound, in an unfree trade-off - the relationship will not work out, as the 'new love' will inevitably exploit the reverse-revenge race-hatred which has been brewed in the enslaved people's hearts by the original man-hater, and will continue to crush them. i wish freedom upon those libyan individuals who seek it, but i fear that no government or political party will ever provide it. in any case, regardless of external influence, gaddafi has fatally undermined himself by killing his own countrymen, and brings about his own self-destruction inexorably nearer with every life he wastes - the rot has set-in. i am loathe to provide the information which is contained in this comment-post, since i am sure that pernicious protection racketeers are seeking to set me up as conduit of terror. the souls devastated in the catastrophic attacks on the twin-towers, new york, and on honshu island, japan, may, to some surviving victims of generational genocide, seem numerically insignificant in comparison to the tens and hundreds of millions slaughtered in the name of greed and power by the destructive dynasties of western nations and their supporters - but malevolently motivated mass-murder is still, and always will be, wrong."


"@alpussdredger
18 march 2011 1:07am

and it is entirely possible, of course, that unscrupulous and wicked individuals within and affiliated to the international hierarchy (including libya) have stirred-up and staged this and other conflicts for personal profit and power."

this comment (on the same thread) has not as yet been deleted by mi5, but is meaningless without reference to the previous ones:

"@alpussdredger
18 march 2011 1:24am

...namely by manipulating the prices of oil, other commodities, and stocks. now we must all pray that this intervention is predominately humanitarian and does not become a commercial venture. one can only hope."

why i will not be attending notting hill carnival 2011

this year, i intend to avoid the annual notting hill carnival due to the presence of the following groups:

a) stupid white people: by which i mean the metropolitan police, who flock to this event each summer, irresistably attracted by the opportunity to provoke disturbances and engage in a spot of state-sponsored wog-bashing, on overtime.

b) stupid black people: by which i mean the community leaders who organize carnival and who always sanction a cop-shackled celebration of afro-caribbean culture, instead of standing on principle by cancelling carnival until such time as the police learn to attend the festivities as public servants, and not mob-handed serf-masters - the prevalence of this situation essentially being due to the fact that community leaders' favourite carnival sound is the ching-ca-ching-ca-ching of choked-up carnival cash-tills.

currently, carnival is no more than a cynically cordoned-off conflict-zone, meticulously organized by the london security authorities, in close collaboration with their corrupt counterparts in the local communities - their motto seems to be: why have a fiesta, when we can stage a fight?

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the folowing comment by jocelynjackesien was deleted from the comment is free thread on a guardian article, by jonathan dean entitled, radical feminism: what it is and why we're afraid of it:

"radical feminism? what's that when it's at home?

what i want to know is this: when barbie doll blofeld's finally been dropped down a swedish oubliette, who's gonna stroke his lab-rat-gerbil guido fawkes? who's gonna take over day-to-day management of his cult spy-network of hackers, blackmailers, fraudsters and snoops? and when they want to carry out surveillance and suppression of political dissenters...who are the labour party quasi-stasi gonna sub-contract their dirty operations to? in fact, who's gonna fill the information-black-hole which will be left gaping in state intelligence agencies, political parties, media organisations and prominent blogs around the world? who are cameron and murdoch gonna turn to now? who's gonna oversee global infiltration of all political and communications institutions?

my god, it makes me sick to see rusbridger acting all innocent on channel 4 - talking about people hacking into voicemails, when half the bloody country knows that there's industrial phone-tapping going on...and that personal mobile phones are being hacked into via their software and the microphones are being switched-on to turn them into 24-hour eavesdrops and tracking-devices. no mobile-broadband or phone network is secure these days - all the signals and lines are being intercepted and information being sold-on, it's bloody obvious. our own personal computers are being turned against us by commercial hackers and private investigators in the media and political spheres...micro-light digital surveillance equipment is being tossed around like confetti in public places and private premises and left to keep watch for the people who planted it. it's big business, by faceless crooks - and yet rusbridger pretends to know nothing about it...but i bet many of his interns and editorial staff know the score...not to mention his mates in the labour party. and i wonder why ed miliband isn't making a big deal out of the coulson affair?

hey guardian...how about an erotic exposé of the dirty voyeuristic secrets which are being concealed behind the un-netted curtains of the paranoid power-freaks of middle-class suburbia? you make me wanna puke rusbridger.

ask spark up - he's an independent politically unpaid un-aligned writer and he's really friggin' hacked-off by the continual intrusive pscho-ops being arrogantly perpetrated by party-political sychophants and parasites."

my own reply to the above comment was also deleted:

"@jocelynjackesien
9 february 2011 11:23pm

well thank you, ms jack esien - it's great that we can overlook petty philosophical differences on feminism and agree on something, for a change. god, don't you just want to turn off the telly when barbie doll blofeld and his oily lawyers open their whining mouths. i've had to resort to posting on this integrity free-dump because of fanatical labour-government-friendly deletions on places like guido fawkes, because of electorally convenient temporary erasures on old holborn (favouring prominent socialist members of parliament and a certain incumbent american president), and because of left-wing sensitive deletions on captain ranty which were closely followed by hacker deletions on my own blog (these occurring after i had the temerity to criticize assange's associates there). what a protection racket politics is, eh? i've even had my material purloined by a guido fawkes associate only to see it turn-up on a solo-comedian's bbc sketch show...uncredited..."

i can only guess that editors on the guardian have personal connections with the captain ranty blog, the old holborn blog, the guido fawkes blog, or with julian assange's anonymous hacker friends - and that they wish to cover-up the criminal hacking of comments from the spark up! blog. some moderators on the comment is free (guardian) site also clearly have connections with mainstream socialist political parties and could be receiving inducement in return for deleting dissenting views - there is also the possibility that the saltier deletions are being siphoned-off for use by commercial comedians. the upshot is that jocelynjackesien's account has been withdrawn by comment is free and my own sparkup account is now being pre-moderated and is effectively disabled. i fear that the guardian's disregard for freedom of expression will ultimately bring about their comment website's demise following an undignified trajectory which terminates in the aol recycle-bin.

curtailed words: suzanne moore forecloses guardian comment section in furious femino-fascist damage-limitation exercize

the following post, drafted in response to a guardian article by suzanne moore entitled it's time to get angry - all this polite and smiley feminism is getting us nowhere, was proscribed by the aforementioned publication's prepubescent editorial staff:

"within the isolated context of a sexual (and therefore interdependent) relationship, issues of sexism can be resolved if the footing of the relationship is positive - but if the balance of relations is bilaterally shipping negative-equity, the situation can only be resolved by one party admitting aggrievement and launching the lifeboat. 

feminism, as a movement, is purely a revengeful reaction to a socially-entrenched male sexist conspiracy (or so i'm led to understand), and, as such, has defeated itself from the outset by adopting identical macho gang-tactics - much in the same way as black-power activists have sought to combat white racism by organizing themselves in mimical accordance with the structurality of the white hegemony, instead of taking a more individualistic or culturally-integral approach. in the workplace, feminists waste their time attempting to counter the self-shackling sexist 'slavery' of employment by means of legal redress-mechanisms established (or should i say granted?) by males, when they could simply subvert institutional sexism by choosing self-employment - but, of course, the promotion of self-employment would not only emancipate women, and effectively do whingeing writers like ms moore out of a self-perpetuating and profitably parasitic job, but would have the somewhat unwelcome side-effect of liberating those awful men aswell...and we couldn't have that, now could we?

overreaction to injustice by discrimination against an entire social grouping is normal, although ultimately immature, human behaviour which is expediently employed as an emergency safety-measure - yet surely it is preferable to neutralize oppression by arranging one's life in such a manner as to avoid 'doing business' with identified oppressors, unless, of course, it's in one's own interests and on one's own terms.

as for the question of a curfew on bristol city, i regard this suggestion as highly illiberal and a rampantly retrogressive restriction of personal and sexual freedom - and not a sensible solution at all. clearly, since the female sex is naturally loaded with the immense responsibility of bearing children, the law of this country should be prejudicially amended in order that our females are also permitted to bear arms.

boom boom baby"

cash-strapped wikileaks needs dosh to cough-up docs

according to julian assange, wikileaks is leaking more money than confidential information - $618000 a week since they first started releasing sensitive united states diplomatic cables. apparently this is impeding the publication of further material - but not assange's memoirs.

why doesn't he nail the bunf to the fucking gatepost? i'm sure someone'll find it.

who's this cunt kidding?

the real whistleblower, bradley manning, is rotting in torture-town while assange preens himself for the paparazzi in the centrally-heated glare of a luxury norfolk mansion.

how much of wikileaks' windfall has gone to private manning's defence fund, i wonder...?

...and what the blazes were they doing with $618000 a week before the operation began?

sarkozy brands all true frogophobic englishmen as al qaeda

much as i deplore the recent abduction and murder of two french nationals in niger, it seems a bit rich of president nicolas sarkozy to automatically define the kidnappers as "al qaeda" - even wikipedia describes aqim (al-qaeda organization in the islamic maghreb), the regional rebel militia to which the french authorities claim the bandits may possibly have been affiliated, as: "commonly believed to be a false flag operation created by the algerian state intelligence agency" ie. either it has been termed al qaeda to gain the algerian government american support, or it has been radicalized by united states military intervention, such as the flintlock 2005 exercize, in a similar manner to which al-shabaab has been radicalized by fanatical-western intervention in somalia. so...given that aqim are known to be ideologically opposed to the slaughter of civilians, might it just be possible, mr sarkozy, that these unfortunate aid workers were killed by local nigerien gangsters, who not only resent the discriminatory treatment of muslims in mainland france, but also the pervasive persistence of french colonial rule in francophone africa over fifty years after the murky grey dawn of its supposed independence? after all, it's not only islamic extremists who hate you bunch of gallic garlic-munching baguette-crunching cheese-chomping boule-chucking horse-eating bastards, is it now?

busch banter

mandatory reading for all obama-sarkozy-cameron multi-fellatial cocksuckers:

gary k busch: the empire strikes back - france and the ivory coast

curtailed words

timed-out reply to comment by flyswatter, 29 december 2010 2:57am, on the guardian article, ivory coast violence forces thousands to flee:

a) britain is a full-member of the european union.

b) there was in existence "free movement in all direction plus transcontinental trade" before slavery, colonialism, and democracy, and it did not come dependent upon conditions such as westernized laws, westernized taxes, westernized identification papers, and highly corruptible and unstable westernized systems of government which allow cynical discrimination against minorities.

c) the governmental systems of china, russia, and the united states were, by-and-large, developed internally by their own inhabitants, and not imposed by externally-based exploitative forces. in any case, i'm not a citizen of the afore-mentioned blocs, so why should i criticize the domestic arrangements in place there?

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refined version of comment deleted from thread on the guardian article, three african presidents to deliver ultimatum to gbagbo in ivory coast:

"28 december 2010 12:16pm

yessir, this is a great opportunity for three respected african heads of state to get away from the missus for the weekend, get pissed-up in an expensive western hotel, and explore the possibilities of more amicable relations with ivorean chambermaids - all paid-for by the presidents of the united states of america, france, and several oil companies of unafrican origin.

as for the side-issue of the national election, this is a piece of toffee:
provide each adult ivorean citizen with one hershey bar and one mars bar - if the citizen prefers gbagbo as president, then he (or she) should leave the mars bar in the courtyard of monsieur gbagbo's official residence, and if the citizen would prefer to elect ouattara as president, then he (or she) should leave the hershey bar in front of the hotel occupied by monsieur ouattara. on completion of voting, each citizen should consume his (or her) remaining candy-bar in order to ensure a totally secret ballot in accordance with recognized international electoral procedure - and, finally, when the two polling stations are closed, each presidential candidate should scoff all chocolate bars cast before his personal place of abode. if either candidate should be observed either failing to ingest his full allocation of confectionery, or in any way attempting to encourage one of his deputies, or deputies' children, to nosh any portion of the aforesaid block of votes on his behalf, then that candidate shall be deemed in breach of electoral rules and shall be disqualified forthwith, forfeiting the said election without further formality. pursuant to both presidential candidates completing the ballot count, the duly appointed returning officer for toblerone shall weigh each man in a state of disrobement, and, subject to approval by nestlé independent monitors, shall proclaim the fattest cunt winner."

spark up! exclusive exposure: queen makes arse available to go on postage stamps

i think that the british monarch has made her position quite clear

the assange analysis: pop-star or politician? confusion or corruption?

spark up! supports wikileaks' right to freedom of expression, on principle - and not least because it has revealed the extent of:

a) united states' interference in the democratic process in nigeria (on behalf of royal dutch shell plc)

b) united states' acquiescence regarding war-crimes committed by the ugandan military

c) united states' illicit air-strikes against alleged al qaeda targets in yemen which resulted in large numbers of civilian casulaties

d) united states' and british war-crimes in iraq

e) united states' and british war-crimes in afghanistan

moreover, if our governments exercize the right to control, tax, and snoop on us, as private citizens, it follows that we, as individuals, have every right to obtain knowledge of actions taken by our states in our name. after all...it's not as if we can trust them, is it?

however...in the (rape) case of julian assange versus the state of sweden, we must be clear that the defendant and his accusers are all acting as individuals, and that this is a personal matter - yet it appears that the defining lines between the state and the individual have become unhealthily blurred.

i am convinced that the defence team for mr assange (the founder of wikileaks) has made a serious miscalculation in crying 'political' (ie state), given that the case has arisen from extremely personal incidents involving individuals - if mr assange believes that this is a 'political' prosecution, then he must therefore believe that he himself is a political figure with political power akin to the power invested in the representative of a state. the fact that the work undertaken by his organization may have political implications is irrelevant here - unless he also claims that he consented to engage in a political fuck. i appreciate that mr assange's lawyers are attempting to stave-off the strong possibility of a politically motivated extradition attempt by the united states (in relation to his actions in his capacity as the head of wikileaks), but this is a separate matter (which involves many other protagonists), and should be treated as such - lest mr assange and his team wish to be tarred by the same accusations which they level at the state prosecutors.

in essence, mr assange has got himself into some trouble with two women who may, or may not, be proven to be scorned-and-vindictive lovers cynically taking advantage of sweden's peculiarly tight sex-laws and the super-sleuth's subconscious hankering for established political status - but he must deal with this situation as a fallible human individual, and not as an irreproachable infallible all-powerful political figurehead of the type which he professes to expose and discredit through his work. julian assange is not helping his case, nor endearing himself to supporters, by threatening, in the manner of a blackmailer, to make further damaging revelations in the event that action is taken against him - surely these revelations should be made regardless of third party actions, and without further ado, that is his job, and one for which he is admired. if the united states administration seeks to take advantage of the swedish prosecution in order to extradite mr assange, it is they who will lose the political initiative - and even more political standing than they already have done.

by intimidating companies which have elected not to do business with wikileaks, operation payback (which is being conducted by the group known as anonymous) is, by association, also damaging the reputation of mr assange, not to mention the prospects of the entire wikileaks venture - for the ideology of freedom is absolutely and irreparably undermined by attempting to coerce other self-governing organizations to support one's own cause; any private sector business ultimately has the right to chose its customers - herein is enshrined the concept known as liberty - and contractual disputes must be resolved in time-honoured fashion. the companies whom anonymous is targeting do not force any individual or organization to make use of their services, and, ipso facto, it is wholly immoral to gang up against and force such companies to serve any particular individual or organization, even though one's oppressor may be doing exactly that - those who use their power to bully others in this fashion are, by definition, no better than the fascist states which they claim to wish to depose. to undermine an authoritarian state is vital, but to replace it with a totalitarian one is fatal. to replace fear with fear is revolting, to replace the ideology of fear refreshing.

so it seems that julian assange wants to be a pop-star and politician all at the same time - but he can't, because the concept of each degrades the other. he's got to choose. the politician must have impeccable integrity and avoid sleeping with anarchists - otherwise no-one will grant him power and status; the pop-star must break every rule and never sleep within the boundaries of established society - otherwise he will not garner fame and fortune. contradictorily, the famous anarchist, julian assange, has been sleeping with the social-establishment and yet desires power - and he has now landed in purgatory. personally, i think he would do better selling his secrets and becoming an outlaw-star...

...but it's a free world...

give me a capitalist enterprise any day - at least you're told what you're getting for your money...but a non-profit-making company? who knows?

assange extradition extra: clinton claims "wikileaks sex-monster raped me"

in a shocking new twist to the wikileaks exposure saga, secret white house diplomatic documents reveal that the secretary-in-a-state, mrs hillary rodham clinton, has accused frisky wikileaks fiend, julian assange, of abducting her to his secret mountain-top lair for a randy three-in-a-bed romp with his horny live-in kangaroo, "hoppy" (a doe). in a tearful heart-to-heart with bosom buddy michelle obama, mrs clinton is reported to have confessed: "assange imprisoned me in his lewdly lurid love-nest...reeled me into a trance by playing funky unamerican rhythms on his didgeridoo, ripped off all my designer fairtrade-cotton clothes, tied me down with incredibly strong cables, and then forced me to have sexual-relations with that animal whilst he joined in and ravished me senseless. it really was an absolutely indescribable experience".

when questioned over the allegations, mr assange asserted that he had "never touched the cross-hatched old crumpet", and exploding in exasperation, the postie-from-hell went on to explain: "look mate, she's stalked me all 'round the bloody globe under the pretence of carrying out covert soddin' surveillance vital to the interests of national soddin' security...when, in reality, the shagnasty sheila's just been after a doodle-on-me-donger...strewth". the pussy-cuted wikileaks founder wearily insists that he has rejected the secretary of state's ardant amorous advances on a multitude of occasions and that his hastily effected evasive action has usually resulted in the former first-lady becoming "as cranky as a deranged dingbat on drugs", baring her chest, and "wobbling her tits" at him.

update:

in a dramatic new development, white house officials have re-affirmed the administration's position that classified embassy communications should now only be disseminated on a strict "need-to-know" basis, and has vehemently denied suggestions that a warrant for mr assange's extradition has been issued in order for michelle and hillary to determine whether he is a real 'jules blonde'.

government plans to evict brian haw from parliament square are simply bad-manners

out of respect for the millions of middle-eastern civilian dead, i daresay that brian haw (the stubborn peace-protester who has been encamped opposite the houses of parliament since the nato invasion of afghanistan in 2001) would probably not regard his stance of non-movement as a 'success', yet his actions have undoubtedly helped break-the-back of public opinion with regard to our government's futile and pernicious wars of occupation-cum-exploitation in iraq, afghanistan and pakistan...

...and as any decent snooker player knows...one should never interrupt an opponent (by conceding the game) whilst he is compiling a winning 'break'...it's not considered good etiquette...and certainly not commensurate with the conduct of a gentleman...

...but david cameron, boris johnson, and nick clegg are not gentlemen...and home secretary, theresa may, is no lady...because they and their gang fully intend to steam-roller new laws through parliament with the sole aim of booting mr haw and his tiny band of co-campers from their pitch before signalling the inevitable withdrawal of beleaguered british troops from the war-zone.

our politicians are not only (war) criminals...but also uncouth yobs - they have no respect for the moral determination of the citizens who form our democracy...they dishonour the memory of all those service-men and -women whom they have sent to their untimely deaths...and they defecate upon the souls of those innocent foreign families whom they have had slaughtered in the name of cheap...crude...oil.

howard flight fights for middle-classes' right to be paid for sex

aghast at the invidious socio-political consequences of the re-jigged welfare state, the new conservative peer, howard flight, has demanded equal nookie-remuneration for the "well-orff" via the child-benefit-system. in a shocking betrayal of his party's traditional principles, the former member of parliament for arundel and south downs has done the dirty and crossed to the other side of the house to sow his wild socialist oats - claiming that he "doesn't give a fuck" about the commonly prevailing philosophy which holds that poor people deserve more state-funded financial stimuli because they have more 'how's your father'. the champion of a better class of bonking, mr flight, has been described by friends as being 'extremely frustrated' by the current situation, and has expressed the view that the new regulations are "effectively an undercover coalition-condom on the british bourgeousie". responding to the concerns raised by his angry party member, the prime minister, mr david cameron, has promised to introduce "ultra-sensitive" tax-breaks on all forms of over-the-counter family-contraceptives, but vows to stand firm on core conservative values in respect of piece-work rates for proletarian promiscuity.

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comment deleted from captain ranty blog ('gratuitous snowy sex' thread):

""red edit" miliband (mob-rule) said...

21:42

i wouldn't take the pee out of diane if i were you...we'll use our secret network of activists to organize a massive 5-year-long campaign of harrassment against you - this will include: the planting of highly illegal covert surveillance equipment in your bog, your bedroom and your shower, intimidation (physical and mental), blackmail, and widespread smearing; your housemates, acquaintances and close friends will be encouraged to spy on you and fuck-up your life, your phone and computer will be tapped, eavesdropped, and hacked 24 hours a day, you will be tracked everywhere, snotty interns will be posted near your address to monitor your intellectual and sexual output (which will then be relayed back to you via spam e-mail), you will be befriended by undercover party members who will do everything possible to waste your time and energy, and you will be appointed a minder whose task will be to "control" you; schoolteachers, jobcentre staff, working links new deal advisors, council workers, and social security fraud investigators will be briefed to make your life as uncomfortable as possible; serving and retired civil service fraud officers will moonlight in order to supervize operations against you, your identity will be stolen, your writing plagiarized, and the proceeds split between the mob - and if your marriage is on the rocks, we will happily hammer home the final nails into its coffin-lid by inducing family members (sympathetic to the cause) to make your life hell. you will be falsely deemed a 'threat to national security' by the security services, and our actions will receive the full backing of our friends in the white house...and all because the lady loves the labour party...but hey...that's socialism*.

[*a philosophy which, along with personal political ambition, is obviously of far greater importance than any notion of simple humanity, for god's sake. you are a mere private citizen without any political affiliation: pay your taxes that we may enjoy and abuse the fruits of your graft and invention, shut your mouth, and do as you're told by party members (your social superiors).]"

copied to: diane abbott, david cameron, ed miliband, nick clegg


update 01.12.10 17.47hrs:

comment now mysteriously re-instated on captain ranty blog...

if you're happy and you know-it, throw a ballot-box-full-of-bricks through the front-window of conservative/liberal* central office...

the first responses to a government survey of citizen-happiness (organized by the office of notional statistics) are starting to arrive in whitehall...

instead of wasting their energy organizing violent protests, why don't all these middle-class students simply sign a pledge to refuse all work and payment of taxes? although such action, in common with the riots, may well be deemed 'criminal' by the authorities...at least it would be moral...and would certainly command the full attention of mr cameron, mr clegg, and the comfy-club coalition.

*delete according to political preference

red edit confesses: being in opposition is crap...

...a statement which (when decoded) reads: labour were crap in government.

ed miliband has probably proposed the best political argument for being granted the keys to number 10 downing street since the publication of the coalition's election manifesto.

pope benedict xvi pronounces catholic church to be "still against evil"...

...but will allow his theological subscribers a little more discretion on how they go about doing it.

the pope believes that, for a homosexual man, the use of a condom is a small step towards holy cleanliness, but that, to atone for the controversial act of ceremonial gay-packaging, heterosexuals should get as dirty as humanly possible, especially the african ones - for this, the pope says, is the only way to achieve "a humanization of sexuality".

the pope has absolute faith that his diocese's doctrinal determinations on the yay's and nay's of hiding one's bushel have created far more lives than have ever been lost to aids - but since some of those lives created were lives created with aids, he admits that the mental arithmetic becomes a little bit tricky.

fortunately, the pope's not the first person one would approach either for sex-tips, or for help adding things up.

what brand of panties does kate middleton wear...?

...i want to buy my girlfriend a pair in the exact same style for xmas.

old holborn scares the natives

in a recent post, entitled social cleansing, my socially-challenged neighbour, namely old holborn, has attempted to put the wind-up-the-willows of white middle-england by suggesting that a cap on rates of housing benefit will inevitably lead to an exodus of immigrants from inner-london to the shires in search of lower rents. and how wrong could he be? very wrong...the restriction on levels of housing benefit will surely hit-hardest-in-the-pocket those who benefit from the welfare state the most...the long-term unemployed? no, the greedy private landlords who for years-upon-years have been raising their rents above the market-average...because the government has encouraged them to do so. in fact, the housing-market would have crashed yonks ago had it not been for an excessively generous housing benefit system...and now it definitely will implode (if the coalition puts its votes where its manifesto is). can't you just hear those high-geared high-ratio high-mortgaged liberal buy-to-letters just screaming in ideological pain as they realize that they can no longer afford to pay off the huge business-loans which they have procured under the former socialist régime? and what will the immigrants, upon whom this country was built, do when the price of property plummets, eh old holborn? they'll leave their digs, dig into their prudently propagated savings-accounts, and buy up land, bricks, and mortar in every suburb, village and hamlet the length and breadth of the country. just as the rothschilds snapped up buckinghamshire real estate at bargain-basement prices during the 1840s (following a cattle-market crash), so will today's immigrant businessmen follow suit. yes, old holborn, your new neighbour could well turn out to be a nigerian - erecting a hideously-huge-white neo-hollywood-style mansion on a greenfield site near you...happy retirement holborn!

following the example of cameron's historic re-unification of the anglo-french axis of norsemen...

...british students have been inspired to harmonize riots...à la mode française...in order to demonstrate their opposition to the ending of state-funded state-brainwashing...

university degrees, traditionally awarded according to an individual's level of adherence to politically correct ideology, must now be paid for by the individual...

today's socially conscious pillaging of conservative central headquarters seems to be the inevitable result of a government which has cut public services whilst raising taxation...with a view to pocketing the difference...

very naughty

...although mi5 agents probably provoked the whole débâcle with the devious intention of undermining the students' otherwise peaceful protest...

in a statement on behalf of polite metropolitan society, sir paul stephenson exclaimed: "it's not acceptable. it's an embarrassment for london and for us. cutbacks in student grants could be the death-knell for public hostelries already pushed to the brink by the smoking-ban...and how the blazes am i to buy a pint after paying to put my pig-shit-thick bourgeouis children through the university of disinformation. i'm fucking livid. who's got some squirt?"

questioned on the serious outbreak of violence, sir paul said: "we thought they [the students] were all nice well-mannered middle-class kids who'd never dream of getting into trouble with the police and upsetting their daddies. standards of social-conditioning appear to be at an all-time low in modern british universities. either we must raise the bar and instil some ps and qs into their loutish lexicon...or we must return to a bespoke education system for the elite...and kick out the ruddy riff-raff. i blame the teachers for all this laxity...but most of all i blame the bloody liberals. when's the next rumble lads? what about getting the young farmers to trash the tuc, tit-for-tat like?"

europeans fight for less human rights

article 15 of the european convention on human rights allows contracting states to derogate from certain rights guaranteed by the convention - but only "in time of war or other public emergency threatening the life of the nation". to clarify, this means that, deferring to the principle of self-defence, the state may ignore human rights legislation if it feels threatened by an individual citizen or group of citizens, but citizens may not ignore human rights legislation if threatened by the state. the state is invincible, long live the state.

outrage in afghanistan

united states generals are complaining of having their feelings "quite hurt" by intelligence reports which reveal that, during a confidential conversation with a neighbour, an afghan mother has admitted to being extremely scared of american christians dressed in military uniform who shoot at her family and fire rockets at her house.

afua hirsch proposes the introduction of strict verbal control for the phrase "illegal immigrant"...

...but the guardian legal correspondent fails to pick up that immigration legislation (the law which magically turns immigrants illegal) is, by its nature, discriminatory and racist...

...just ask jimmy mubenga.

ok love...let's ban the words "illegal" and "immigrant" when they miscegenate and make sense of an illogical immoral unworkable law...then we can all pretend that the concept of immigration legislation is fine, that "illegal immigrants" don't exist, and don't get exploited by big business and the conniving politicians who rake off the resultant corporation taxes to suit and boot themselves...

...and you can carry on collecting fees for representing those "illegal immigrants"...

making these words "dirty"...will never make the money you earn "clean"...you have degraded, dehumanized and smeared the very clients who put food in your mouth...

lawyers...protect the law at the expense of the people...

what would we do without 'em?

spark up! poll:nine out of ten benefit-cheats prefer tax-evaders to george osborne & the inland revenue's steam-'n-cream gang

the shock result of a specially commissioned spark up! survey reveals that an overwhelming proportion of benefit-cheats believe that the chancellor of the exchequer, george osborne, and his merry band of taxmen are no better than a delinquent bunch of street-muggers. computerized analysis of responses to a wide range of questions posed by dodgy data uk ltd indicates that the sample group of british welfare fraudsters were, in general, philosophically opposed to compulsory taxation, and also under the firm impression that tax-inspectors hang around in hoodies, whilst nonchalantly terrorizing old ladies by revealing their arses and engaging in estuary easy-speak.

during an intimate pillow-conversation with a spark up! undercover reporter, the chancellor of the extortionists is quoted as describing his micro-economic policy in the following terms:

"this is a rumble in the fiscal jungle. we have to mug the honest hard-working taxpayer in order to finance an ultimately fruitless yet wonderfully vindictive vote-winning initiative against the great british benefit-cheat. we could, of course, solve the problem of benefit-sponging by abolishing the welfare state altogether...but then we'd have no statutory excuse for fleecing the public via the tax-system and taking our own whacking great cut (in order to subsidize the rising cost of our children's ridiculously expensive public school educations). basically, we in the conservative party are seeking to re-establish traditional values by re-introducing the well-heeled concept of social-exclusion - which is predicated upon the notion of the 'deserving snob', such as myself, who is born into the privileged mafia of major or minor aristocracy through absolutely no fault of his own...and the 'undeserving snob', more-often-than-not a socialist, who claws, shags and fiddles his way to the top of the dung-pile by virtue of his own craft, graft, criminal inclination and corrupt association."

the immigration-factor

x-factor judge, cheryl cole, has denied allowing racism to colour her decision to send home super-talented zimbabwean contestant, gamu nhengu - who, through no fault of her own, has run into some difficulties concerning her immigration status and now faces deportation. cole, who has previous for whacking a nigerian toilet-attendant without holding a recognized degree in deontological ethics, has claimed that she cannot possibly be racist as she was married to a black man - although presumably her participation in this relationship formed a mandatory component of her community service order, as she divorced him when he relapsed into racially-stereotypical behaviour and started putting it around a bit more than she could tolerate. i could also rather ungenerously speculate that ms cole's husband was a normally-narrow-minded-sun-newspaper-reading-brit who was of the common belief that immigration legislation was not in fact inherently racist so long as it did not affect or impede his own indefinite right to reside up cheryl's initial port-of-entry...but i won't...because i gather that he is considerably bigger than me - a fact which i guess swayed the liberal talent-show judge in her decision to jump on his nob in the first instance.

well-i-never...i along with other freedom-to-sing-to-shit-celebrities campaigners have long been arguing that immigration legislation is indeed racist - as it discriminates unfairly against sub-saharan soul-singers - and now it appears that god, in his great and bountiful wisdom, has delivered unto us a scenario which demonstrates, beyond-all-possible-doubt, to even the most tone-deaf of daily mail readers, that a nice girl, with a nice voice, could sadly end up illegally cleaning bogs below the minimum-wage - despite the fact that her mum has made a concerted attempt to integrate into british society by observing traditional national custom and claiming welfare benefits to which she was not strictly-speaking entitled.

may i wish gamu and her mum every success against those conceited cunts at the home office - and i hope and pray that gamu will be permitted to re-enter the competition and get a fair crack at punching cheryl's snotty stuck-up racist face in...

...if however, our prayers are not answered...may i suggest that gamu uses the insanely intense publicity either to secure herself a remunerative recording-contract, or to highlight the injustices of our exploitative immigration system...aside from that i would advise her to pursue her career in the regular pub-and-club venues in order to gain real performance experience...and to completely avoid any more crap celebrity-manufacturing-contests, which, let's face it, ultimately have absolutely nothing to do with natural artistic self-development...and usually degenerate into some international race-row due to the prejudiced nature of the audience and programme producers...

simon cowell just does not deserve to profit from true musicians like gamu...

...and as for officer cheryl...may i wish her a long and fulfilling career in the uk border agency.

no welsh, no blacks, just dogs of war

whites colonize labour cabinet

need i say more...?

ok then...

labour have white-washed the shadow-cabinet but can never rinse away the dark stain of innocent muslim blood from the hypocritical hands of its nasty filthy front-line war-criminals

how sadiq khan is going to sit amongst such an immoral greedy bunch of islamophobic child-killers, and still respect himself, will be a miracle to behold...?

the labour party have just lost the black vote...these shadow-ministers were not chosen according to ability but according to the strength of their bond with the devil...in the labour leadership contest, diane abbott polled almost the same percentage of votes as andy burnham, yet, unlike him, didn't even make the cut...and although i do not rate david lammy because of his support for the iraq war, i nevertheless recognize that he is more talented than other candidates who have been elected...get real now, both abbott and lammy have got to be more effective politicians than that dizzy cunt tessa jowell...it's definitely who you know that counts in socialist politics...and not what you know or stand for...

no afro-caribbean faces to front-up for british politics in the house of commons...a total fucking disgrace...for the white establishment...

...but a credit to young black intellectuals who are becoming increasingly conscious of their redundancy in the houses of parliament and steering well clear of the dump...

the experience of the blair years shows us that black politicians can only secure cabinet positions on the condition that they sell-out their civil-rights principles...and even then, they suffer a short shelf-life...lammy now knows this...and obama soon will...

bravo diane! they stood-you-up, you showed-them-up

this is not a broadcast on behalf of the conservative party

black people support socialism because:

• the labour government attempted to colonize the middle-east and black people would just love to regenerate the british empire
  
  
• black people just love paying high taxes to white governments and then having to suck-up to the white establishment to get their money back
  
  
• black people just love paying for shitty public services and becoming captive-customers to the rude racist public servants who mismanage government departments yet cannot be sacked
  
  
• black people just love to surrender responsibility for their lives to white governments who are always more than happy to micro-manage the affairs of black people so that black people do not have to think for themselves and can blame white people when everything goes tits-up
  
  
• black people just love being guaranteed equality with white people and not having to be bothered by the annoying freedom to out-perform white people
  
  
• the labour party is full of racist white people who pretend they love black people but really hate them - a situation with which black people are innately comfortable because they really hate white people but pretend to love them
  
  
• black people prefer to choose money over self-esteem
  
  
• black people just love to vote-in soiled goods like david lammy and oona king (who have backed a bloody colonialist outrage in the middle-east) and second-hand sofas like diane abbott
  
  
• it costs them nothing - but has set-back black politics more than a century, anaesthetizing black intellectual thought more surely than all the cannabis ever grown
  
  
• white racism has caused insecurity amongst black people who, as a defence-response, have internalized the white herd-mentality and religiously rallied around a philosophy which obviates the need for individual thinking and viewpoints - hence black people's obsession with social-control and other strategies of white suppression
  
  
• socialism is the biggest con since christianity - and its natural heir
  
  
• as small children, black people were praised by white people for ramming round things into square holes

the spark up! pocket dictionary of discrimination

• racism: a hatred of humanity which manifests itself in a predisposition to practise the social-classification of individuals according to skin-colour rather than, for example, in terms of integrity, ability, experience, or achievement
  
  
• white people: individuals who hate black people
  
  
• black people: individuals who hate white people

disclaimer:

• spark up! does not support any political party which advocates the imposition of compulsory taxation

delhi does the biz, liz

although the indian government may have been criticized for slinging-up a second-rate stadium for a second-rate sports-event, for the duration of the intricately lavish inaugural ceremony of the 2010 commonwealth games, the jawaharlal nehru arena, in new delhi, proved to be a first-rate set for a premium-rate advertizing slot - of which the opportunistic authorities made the fullest use to promote indian commerce and culture to grand effect. after an 80-year sentence of serial social-snubbery, the ancient civilization of the asian sub-continent has at last been granted the doubtful privilege of hosting this historic event and, in strict observance of time-honoured british tradition, the fastest politicians in the east have knocked-up the infra-structure on-the-cheap and pocketed the record-breaking difference without even breaking into a sweat - but one can hardly blame the maharajahs and maharanis for defecating on the commonwealth games, which were previously known as the british empire games, which, in turn, evolved from the gladiatorial spectacles of inter-kingdom power-struggles and wars of independence so generously promoted by queen victoria throughout the worldwide-web of british colonies...

...and there we have it...the paradox of an independent superstate, which has little interest in playing games (when there's so much money to be made and such influence to be won) yet plays host to the quaint martial melodies and nostalgic majesterial whims of an enslaved defunct monarchy - whose subjects and rulers are commonly addicted to sports. in london, you will notice that indians do not make a great show of celebrating the day on which they gained independence - they were not granted it sham-to-shambles fashion, as in so many african and caribbean countries, they grabbed it back, and never looked back. indians celebrate their independence every day of the year by striving to consolidate it - whereas the nigerians, for example, make a big deal of their 'independence' day, yet do not even own, in any real or meaningful sense, the precious natural resources which lie beneath their mother-lands's rich home-soil; lagos, the business-hub-capital of black africa, is more-often-than-not subject to a power black-out - a symptomatic state of affairs which sadly defines, and is almost synonymous with, african 'independence'...formerly known as colonialism...formerly known as slavery.

south africa put on a fantastic football tournament, but it brought no freedom to its people...because soccer is 'something' spread (if not originally invented) by the british. now...the indians may not be the greatest stadium-builders, nor hold much respect for the founders of democracy after whom they name these statutory status-symbols, but when they wish to construct something important to themselves, such as the taj mahal, the akshardham temple, or their own mother-nation, it will undoubtedly last a good deal longer than the commonwealth games stadium, the commonwealth games, the british raj, or the british empire - which in the five-thousand-year long scheme of india's dynamic dynastic history...is but a bloody blip.

edwin lutyens, eat your heart out.

conservatives back use of terrorism to counter extremism

the british prime minister, mr david cameron, has today re-affirmed his support for proposals that members of the united nations should "have available to them" the option of committing a short-sharp atrocity against innocent members of the public whose governments have seen fit to commit war-crimes against the civilian citizens of foreign countries. in a brief statement issued at a hastily convened press-conference, the leader of the conservative party expounded his conviction that the introduction of progressive policies such as the cane-a-colonialist bill was the only sure-fire way of bringing "harmonious discipline" to a diverse world in which genocide and assorted human-rights abuses have become appallingly commonplace.

coalitionists crap themselves over labour's new clobber

the conservative press, as exemplified by guido fawkes, have quite rightly been quick to ridicule the recent bolshevik revolution in the labour party, but the raucous level of right-wing mirth belies a red-faced cover-up by a government which has complacently sat on its filthy murdering hands and completely failed to redress the balance of roughshod-western-justice in afghanistan. you see...if the truth be told, the prospect of a strong civil-rights suit sitting on the opposition front benches of parliament is making the massed members of the coalition banditry quake in their bother-boots - because the moral malaise which has brought british socialism crashing to its knees will ultimately be the downfall of this cobbled-cartel too. in the crowded house of commons the collective conscience of collaboration is contagious, and the symptoms of sadistry are synchronic - war-poxed war-criminals are just not fit to rule.

labour delegates adopt process of natural selection according to tit-size

meanwhile, back at the ranch...

...diane abbott is busy munching away at core socialist values from the inside...

having reached that awkward point in life where her teenage boy no longer wants to know her, diane has generously elected to spend the remainder of her middle-age bugging the fuck out of middle-england - primarily, by running for election to the labour party shadow cabinet. class-tittle-tattle has it that old labour stalwarts have been prompted to winch abbott over the last hurdle of parliamentary sexism and are about to project her into the make-believe-cabinet rôle of minister for women and equalities - which basically means she'll be washing-up the tea-cups. madam herself has been quoted as saying that she has her beady-eye on the 'voice of the cities' position - but i fear she'll have a serious social struggle finding any other person indigenous to the inner-city who sounds quite like her...

well, i sincerely hope that, if offered the women and equalities spot, abbott will politely tell red edit to stuff the job where everyone's equally dark - even though, it must be admitted, the part was written for her, by her...but, come now...giving equalities posts to minority feminists is a bit 1980s...init?

...and as for the minister for cities gambit...i just don't buy it - ms abbott's either playing coy (and playing down her delta-force-female go-grab-it streak of desire) in the hope of being invited to take-on something more senior..."oh honey, you shouldn't-have yes-thanks when-do-i-start" sort-of-a-thing...or else she really lacks confidence and ambition, due to her lack of dotty black female marxist rôle-models. in any case, the minister of cities portfolio is a cosmetic career-move - as it's essentially london-focused and, in reality, boris johnson already does all the work, as mayor...a scenario which would thus afford lady godiva a greater opportunity for beer-swilling in london hostelries...at a time when hackney residents are thoroughly fed up with their local embodiment of democracy hanging around street-corners molesting young white males...no thanks, we want her to get a proper job. it's shadow home fucking secretary or nowt, mate...oh, ok...maybe shadow foreign secretary...after all, look on the positive side...we would definitely have no further requirement for trident.

nonetheless, i must confess that i'm truly concerned about the competition repeating from the brown-blair reich - a glance at the list of mps who have put their names forward for mock-government draws my attention to the below-mentioned candidates who have the fresh blood of iraqi and afghan infants on their sociopathic hands:

douglas alexander, ed balls, hilary benn, ben bradshaw, chris bryant, andy burnham, liam byrne, vernon coaker, yvette cooper, wayne david, angela eagle, maria eagle, caroline flint, mike gapes, barry gardiner, peter hain, david hanson, tom harris, john healey, meg hillier, huw irranca-davies, alan johnson, kevan jones, tessa jowell, eric joyce, david lammy, chris leslie, ivan lewis, fiona mactaggart, alun michael, jim murphy, gareth thomas, stephen timms, stephen twigg, shaun woodward

...should all follow in the example of their bad-spirited leader, david miliband, and return to their constituencies in order to suffer an agonizing political death in the privacy of their own cctv'd trash-cans. god only knows how any of them ever had the bloody brass to show their evil fucking faces again?

...and finally, we wait in hope for a ghetto-blasting miracle...the miracle that late-developer, diane abbott, manages to grow a couple...a couple of independent brain-cells...independent physically, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually (err...so maybe that last one's stretching it a bit) from her pretend-ministerial colleagues who will always unthinkingly concur with ed...and independent from ed, who will always connive with mandelson...and independent from obama, who will always wait until some megalomaniacal u.s. general in afghanistan gets bored with blowing-out babies' brains before he, the president of america, feels that the time is right to order the king's african rifles to stop massacring the muslim mau mau, their wives, and their children...

...for otherwise spark up! simply cannot countenance backing our local vote-tart's loony-left-over logic-lite campaign.

message to t

thank you for your e-mail, darling - henceforth, please try your level-best to avoid using the terms 'affiliations' and 'references'...or i swear i'll do you.

the diane abbott politbüro campaign: blackmail or blacklist?

thanks to the collective guilty conscience of a labour party with a record for blithely waving a race-war through parliament, diane abbott mp has been able to successfully squeeze 33 leadership-nominations out of high-ranking nazi-officials from the former totalitarian brown-blair régime (including a distinctly curmudgeonly one from war-criminal, david miliband) before busting like a suicide-bomber onto the ballot-paper and taking her reluctant final sponsor, the fatally miscalculating fascist ex-foreign-secretary, with her - and get this, by way of a perversely returned backhanded-favour, the facety cow's now going around giving the poor defeated sod her full backing should he so desire to seek a post in his junior brother's shadow-cabinet...when the plain fact of the matter is...he really so doesn't.

ms abbott, who vehemently denies having entered the leadership-contest with the sole aim of eating away at david miliband's share of the vote, has today confirmed her continued participation in the electoral-feast by indicating her own intention to run for a shadow-ministerial position - some commentators have already rated the stoke newington mp's chances of success in this endeavour as pretty slim, but it's worth bearing in mind that new party equal-opportunities rules guarantee there will be six women's places up for grabs. put it this way...if abbott doesn't get a spot on the front benches, she'll not know whether to cry "racist!" or "sexist!", the darling - but, whatever her take, such a blunt rejection would be a damning indictment of a party which is cynically attempting to brush the civilian blood of the iraq war under the plush red carpet of parliament. indeed, considering that this long-serving backbencher has lately emerged as the unofficial spokesperson for the left-wing, and has always been steadfastly opposed to the iraq war (tho' a bit wanky on the war in afghanistan, it-must-be-said), for diane abbott to be offered anything less than the position of shadow home, or foreign, secretary would reasonably be viewed as a de facto side-lining of the socialist civil rights agenda. even if one adjudges ms abbott's ambitions to be no more than a kamikaze mission to expose racism in the labour party, it's abundantly clear that even the 'disappointment' of a further knock-back for her ladyship, at the outstanding conference-poll, will still inevitably entail a serious degradation of support for the war-apologetic and -unapologetic candidates proposed by the right-wing.

i wonder...was all this abbottage envisaged within peter mandelson's master-plan for 'arranging' a silky-smooth palm-off of party-power? possibly, he's that devious...but so's diane...don't say i never called her a cunning little bitch.

you see, personally, i couldn't give a figgy-fuck whether do-or-di gets the gig - she's just one big hot-air balloon who, bar the occasional apoplectic interjection of "racist!" or "sexist!", will unquestioningly do her ed-master's bidding, who, in turn, will do lord mandelwangle's bidding, who, in turn, will do the bidding of president obomba, lord of the yankees and israelis...

...and anyway...let's say the batty old battle-axe does flunk it, and comes home to hackney empty-handed...i mean, come-on man...what does diane abbott actually expect from an irrepressibly racist institution like the british labour party?

court of trigger-finger opinion: jean charles de menezes versus mark saunders

note that police allowed an off-duty barrister brandishing a shotgun five hours grace - yet instantly executed an innocent immigrant going to work.

the blair legacy: labour party vote in leadership contender with least personality

when one compares the small percentage of the labour membership which turned-out for diane "big-amp" abbott against the great pile of support which ensured a party leadership victory for "stale-bread" ed miliband, one knows that the amount of votes cast for any given candidate in this election was inversely proportional to that particular candidate's charisma quotient. i am also quite certain that racism and sexism played a large part in dumping diane at the bottom of the heap of hopefuls who, to be truthful, were all equally fucking crap - although it has to be said that diane does have an excrutiatingly irritating voice, something which isn't strictly-speaking her fault, of course, but which would surely have counted against her in a hostile homogeneous political environment far from the madding ghetto of positive discrimination for persons with arsey elocution. nevertheless, it's difficult to avoid the conclusion that diane abbott, having been encouraged by her party to join the leadership-race in order to air some alternative-but-not-too-alternative views on such taboo subjects as military intervention in the middle-east and public-spending-cuts, did really ask for it - yet suffered the social shit-shovelling because it was the price of a meal-ticket to the white-man's dinner-table, a place from which she expects to quietly consolidate her position of seniority in her wider home-constituency of black political expression. is diane abbott's survival strategy sound? i reckon not - now that obama's bubble-of-bullshit has been burst by the splinters flying from a smashed civil-rights movement, black people are extremely apathetic about establishment politics, which is probably the main reason for them failing to get behind her (leadership-bid) in the first place... ...and now to ed: I get it also that, whatever your view on the Iraq War, it led to an appalling loss of trust for us. I know we didn't always speak to your hopes, your dreams and address your fears and uncertainties. I know we have to change. yes, you all heard it - the acceptance speech where, instead of respectfully burying the dead civilian millions of the iraq and afghanistan wars, he thoughtlessly tossed them into a makeshift shallow grave, glibly glossed from labour consciousness. mr miliband, the war on terror led to an appalling loss of innocent life for communities in the middle-east, but you're only concerned about how many votes it lost you in the general election. the reality is that your corrupt labour government cannibalized any talent or experience amongst your ranks and your complacent comrades are now condemned to choose a figurehead from a lower-division intellectual gene-pool - whilst still desperately trying to sneak-back-in some key-criminal-elements from the tawdry and tarnished old-guard, including david miliband, ed balls and harriet harman. until the labour party comes to terms with the atrocity which it has committed in wog-world, it can never be redeemed, and will remain forever in parliamentary purgatory. you, sir, are no more than a democratically-elected doorstop preventing socialism from being slammed into total political oblivion.

united states generals throw tizzy-fit and troop out of afghanistan

apparently, president mahmoud ahmadinejad (an iranian in new york) upset american insensibilities, on thursday, by suggesting that the notorious failed attempt by ill-mannered immigrants to enter the land-of-the-free-tea-parties without a proper printed invitation, on 11th september 2001, might just possibly be linked to a century of wanton western infusion and unlicensed brew-ups in the middle-east.

russell brand, a guest at a reception in the white house, has boiled matters up further by explaining that: "well you see...sympathetic members of the israeli secret tea-service heard about the tea-plot and, on learning of the gate-crashers' desperate plight and poverty, thought errr...we'll 'ave some of that, and found it in their holy old hearts to purchase the fanatical saudi tea-lovers their plane-tickets all the way to america...the dears...and even went the extra-mile to provide them with some of those handy little white-plastic stirring-stick-thingies for when they arrived at the bash...in fact, such was the israelis' concern for health and safety, due to over-crowding at the popular event, that they persuaded their own hebrew tea-tasters to stay home that day and not attend". later on, realizing his faux-pas in respect of trans-atlantic tea-table etiquette, brand characteristically tried to retrieve the situation by first apologizing for tainting the sugar-bowl (which he had inadvertantly contaminated after distractedly dashing the sugar-spoon in his cuppa), and then by extolling the achievements of his host, president barack obama - whose middle-eastern conversation-initiatives the british celebrity cited as "among the most significant to be struck-up in the region since the days of the great tea-emporium founded by genghis khan".

satirical scrubbers get sloshed

judging by the results on alexa data, it now appears that guido fawkes no longer has the means to maintain his mansion in the manor to which it has been accustomed - a follyful of unwise investments have led to the property being neglected and it is now falling into the disrepair of gradual disregard. i fear there's nothing for it but to bulldoze the site and set up a car-wash.