howard flight fights for middle-classes' right to be paid for sex

aghast at the invidious socio-political consequences of the re-jigged welfare state, the new conservative peer, howard flight, has demanded equal nookie-remuneration for the "well-orff" via the child-benefit-system. in a shocking betrayal of his party's traditional principles, the former member of parliament for arundel and south downs has done the dirty and crossed to the other side of the house to sow his wild socialist oats - claiming that he "doesn't give a fuck" about the commonly prevailing philosophy which holds that poor people deserve more state-funded financial stimuli because they have more 'how's your father'. the champion of a better class of bonking, mr flight, has been described by friends as being 'extremely frustrated' by the current situation, and has expressed the view that the new regulations are "effectively an undercover coalition-condom on the british bourgeousie". responding to the concerns raised by his angry party member, the prime minister, mr david cameron, has promised to introduce "ultra-sensitive" tax-breaks on all forms of over-the-counter family-contraceptives, but vows to stand firm on core conservative values in respect of piece-work rates for proletarian promiscuity.