Thursday, 30 September 2010

labour delegates adopt process of natural selection according to tit-size


meanwhile, back at the ranch...

...diane abbott is busy munching away at core socialist values from the inside...

having reached that awkward point in life where her teenage boy no longer wants to know her, diane has generously elected to spend the remainder of her middle-age bugging the fuck out of middle-england - primarily, by running for election to the labour party shadow cabinet. class-tittle-tattle has it that old labour stalwarts have been prompted to winch abbott over the last hurdle of parliamentary sexism and are about to project her into the make-believe-cabinet rôle of minister for women and equalities - which basically means she'll be washing-up the tea-cups. madam herself has been quoted as saying that she has her beady-eye on the 'voice of the cities' position - but i fear she'll have a serious social struggle finding any other person indigenous to the inner-city who sounds quite like her...

well, i sincerely hope that, if offered the women and equalities spot, abbott will politely tell red edit to stuff the job where everyone's equally dark - even though, it must be admitted, the part was written for her, by her...but, come now...giving equalities posts to minority feminists is a bit 1980s...init?

...and as for the minister for cities gambit...i just don't buy it - ms abbott's either playing coy (and playing down her delta-force-female go-grab-it streak of desire) in the hope of being invited to take-on something more senior..."oh honey, you shouldn't-have yes-thanks when-do-i-start" sort-of-a-thing...or else she really lacks confidence and ambition, due to her lack of dotty black female marxist rôle-models. in any case, the minister of cities portfolio is a cosmetic career-move - as it's essentially london-focused and, in reality, boris johnson already does all the work, as mayor...a scenario which would thus afford lady godiva a greater opportunity for beer-swilling in london hostelries...at a time when hackney residents are thoroughly fed up with their local embodiment of democracy hanging around street-corners molesting young white males...no thanks, we want her to get a proper job. it's shadow home fucking secretary or nowt, mate...oh, ok...maybe shadow foreign secretary...after all, look on the positive side...we would definitely have no further requirement for trident.

nonetheless, i must confess that i'm truly concerned about the competition repeating from the brown-blair reich - a glance at the list of mps who have put their names forward for mock-government draws my attention to the below-mentioned candidates who have the fresh blood of iraqi and afghan infants on their sociopathic hands:

douglas alexander, ed balls, hilary benn, ben bradshaw, chris bryant, andy burnham, liam byrne, vernon coaker, yvette cooper, wayne david, angela eagle, maria eagle, caroline flint, mike gapes, barry gardiner, peter hain, david hanson, tom harris, john healey, meg hillier, huw irranca-davies, alan johnson, kevan jones, tessa jowell, eric joyce, david lammy, chris leslie, ivan lewis, fiona mactaggart, alun michael, jim murphy, gareth thomas, stephen timms, stephen twigg, shaun woodward

...should all follow in the example of their bad-spirited leader, david miliband, and return to their constituencies in order to suffer an agonizing political death in the privacy of their own cctv'd trash-cans. god only knows how any of them ever had the bloody brass to show their evil fucking faces again?

...and finally, we wait in hope for a ghetto-blasting miracle...the miracle that late-developer, diane abbott, manages to grow a couple...a couple of independent brain-cells...independent physically, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually (err...so maybe that last one's stretching it a bit) from her pretend-ministerial colleagues who will always unthinkingly concur with ed...and independent from ed, who will always connive with mandelson...and independent from obama, who will always wait until some megalomaniacal u.s. general in afghanistan gets bored with blowing-out babies' brains before he, the president of america, feels that the time is right to order the king's african rifles to stop massacring the muslim mau mau, their wives, and their children...

...for otherwise spark up! simply cannot countenance backing our local vote-tart's loony-left-over logic-lite campaign.

message to t


thank you for your e-mail, darling - henceforth, please try your level-best to avoid using the terms 'affiliations' and 'references'...or i swear i'll do you.

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

the diane abbott politbüro campaign: blackmail or blacklist?


thanks to the collective guilty conscience of a labour party with a record for blithely waving a race-war through parliament, diane abbott mp has been able to successfully squeeze 33 leadership-nominations out of high-ranking nazi-officials from the former totalitarian brown-blair régime (including a distinctly curmudgeonly one from war-criminal, david miliband) before busting like a suicide-bomber onto the ballot-paper and taking her reluctant final sponsor, the fatally miscalculating fascist ex-foreign-secretary, with her - and get this, by way of a perversely returned backhanded-favour, the facety cow's now going around giving the poor defeated sod her full backing should he so desire to seek a post in his junior brother's shadow-cabinet...when the plain fact of the matter is...he really so doesn't.

ms abbott, who vehemently denies having entered the leadership-contest with the sole aim of eating away at david miliband's share of the vote, has today confirmed her continued participation in the electoral-feast by indicating her own intention to run for a shadow-ministerial position - some commentators have already rated the stoke newington mp's chances of success in this endeavour as pretty slim, but it's worth bearing in mind that new party equal-opportunities rules guarantee there will be six women's places up for grabs. put it this way...if abbott doesn't get a spot on the front benches, she'll not know whether to cry "racist!" or "sexist!", the darling - but, whatever her take, such a blunt rejection would be a damning indictment of a party which is cynically attempting to brush the civilian blood of the iraq war under the plush red carpet of parliament. indeed, considering that this long-serving backbencher has lately emerged as the unofficial spokesperson for the left-wing, and has always been steadfastly opposed to the iraq war (tho' a bit wanky on the war in afghanistan, it-must-be-said), for diane abbott to be offered anything less than the position of shadow home, or foreign, secretary would reasonably be viewed as a de facto side-lining of the socialist civil rights agenda. even if one adjudges ms abbott's ambitions to be no more than a kamikaze mission to expose racism in the labour party, it's abundantly clear that even the 'disappointment' of a further knock-back for her ladyship, at the outstanding conference-poll, will still inevitably entail a serious degradation of support for the war-apologetic and -unapologetic candidates proposed by the right-wing.

i wonder...was all this abbottage envisaged within peter mandelson's master-plan for 'arranging' a silky-smooth palm-off of party-power? possibly, he's that devious...but so's diane...don't say i never called her a cunning little bitch.

you see, personally, i couldn't give a figgy-fuck whether do-or-di gets the gig - she's just one big hot-air balloon who, bar the occasional apoplectic interjection of "racist!" or "sexist!", will unquestioningly do her ed-master's bidding, who, in turn, will do lord mandelwangle's bidding, who, in turn, will do the bidding of president obomba, lord of the yankees and israelis...

...and anyway...let's say the batty old battle-axe does flunk it, and comes home to hackney empty-handed...i mean, come-on man...what does diane abbott actually expect from an irrepressibly racist institution like the british labour party?

Monday, 27 September 2010

court of trigger-finger opinion: jean charles de menezes versus mark saunders


note that police allowed an off-duty barrister brandishing a shotgun five hours grace - yet instantly executed an innocent immigrant going to work.

the blair legacy: labour party vote-in leadership contender with least personality


when one compares the small percentage of the labour membership which turned-out for diane "big-amp" abbott against the great pile of support which ensured a party leadership victory for "stale-bread" ed miliband, one knows that the amount of votes cast for any given candidate in this election was inversely proportional to that particular candidate's charisma quotient. i am also quite certain that racism and sexism played a large part in dumping diane at the bottom of the heap of hopefuls who, to be truthful, were all equally fucking crap - although it has to be said that diane does have an excrutiatingly irritating voice, something which isn't strictly-speaking her fault, of course, but which would surely have counted against her in a hostile homogeneous political environment far from the madding ghetto of positive discrimination for persons with arsey elocution. nevertheless, it's difficult to avoid the conclusion that diane abbott, having been encouraged by her party to join the leadership-race in order to air some alternative-but-not-too-alternative views on such taboo subjects as military intervention in the middle-east and public-spending-cuts, did really ask for it - yet suffered the social shit-shovelling because it was the price of a meal-ticket to the white-man's dinner-table, a place from which she expects to quietly consolidate her position of seniority in her wider home-constituency of black political expression. is diane abbott's survival strategy sound? i reckon not - now that obama's bubble-of-bullshit has been burst by the splinters flying from a smashed civil-rights movement, black people are extremely apathetic about establishment politics, which is probably the main reason for them failing to get behind her (leadership-bid) in the first place...

...and now to ed:

I get it also that, whatever your view on the Iraq War, it led to an appalling loss of trust for us. I know we didn't always speak to your hopes, your dreams and address your fears and uncertainties. I know we have to change.

yes, you all heard it - the acceptance speech where, instead of respectfully burying the dead civilian millions of the iraq and afghanistan wars, he thoughtlessly tossed them into a makeshift shallow grave, glibly glossed from labour consciousness. mr miliband, the war on terror led to an appalling loss of innocent life for communities in the middle-east, but you're only concerned about how many votes it lost you in the general election. the reality is that your corrupt labour government cannibalized any talent or experience amongst your ranks and your complacent comrades are now condemned to choose a figurehead from a lower-division intellectual gene-pool - whilst still desperately trying to sneak-back-in some key-criminal-elements from the tawdry and tarnished old-guard, including david miliband, ed balls and harriet harman. until the labour party comes to terms with the atrocity which it has committed in wog-world, it can never be redeemed, and will remain forever in parliamentary purgatory. you, sir, are no more than a democratically-elected doorstop preventing socialism from being slammed into total political oblivion.

Saturday, 25 September 2010

united states generals throw tizzy-fit and troop out of afghanistan


apparently, president mahmoud ahmadinejad (an iranian in new york) upset american insensibilities, on thursday, by suggesting that the notorious failed attempt by ill-mannered immigrants to enter the land-of-the-free-tea-parties without a proper printed invitation, on 11th september 2001, might just possibly be linked to a century of wanton western infusion and unlicensed brew-ups in the middle-east.

russell brand, a guest at a reception in the white house, has boiled matters up further by explaining that: "well you see...sympathetic members of the israeli secret tea-service heard about the tea-plot and, on learning of the gate-crashers' desperate plight and poverty, thought errr...we'll 'ave some of that, and found it in their holy old hearts to purchase the fanatical saudi tea-lovers their plane-tickets all the way to america...the dears...and even went the extra-mile to provide them with some of those handy little white-plastic stirring-stick-thingies for when they arrived at the bash...in fact, such was the israelis' concern for health and safety, due to over-crowding at the popular event, that they persuaded their own hebrew tea-tasters to stay home that day and not attend". later on, realizing his faux-pas in respect of trans-atlantic tea-table etiquette, brand characteristically tried to retrieve the situation by first apologizing for tainting the sugar-bowl (which he had inadvertantly contaminated after distractedly dashing the sugar-spoon in his cuppa), and then by extolling the achievements of his host, president barack obama - whose middle-eastern conversation-initiatives the british celebrity cited as "among the most significant to be struck-up in the region since the days of the great tea-emporium founded by genghis khan".

Thursday, 23 September 2010

satirical scrubbers get sloshed


judging by the results on alexa data, it now appears that guido fawkes no longer has the means to maintain his mansion in the manor to which it has been accustomed - a follyful of unwise investments have led to the property being neglected and it is now falling into the disrepair of gradual disregard. i fear there's nothing for it but to bulldoze the site and set up a car-wash.

law reinforce guilt


some immature attention-seeking adults in gateshead, england, have youtubed themselves roasting copies of the qu'ran - and now the police have scored a coup against race-relations by arresting the idiots and compounding the publicity. my guess is that, deliberately insulting as this hysterical display undoubtedly is, such abtuse actions by western islamophobes would barely raise a muslim eyebrow were american and european soldiers not hobnailing down the coffin-lid on middle-eastern culture and strafing civilian life - it's always the last senseless straw-brain that gives the camel the hump.

Monday, 20 September 2010

all for one and one for all


in view of old holborn's recent gross abuse of free-speech, spark up! is launching a campaign to have the entire blogosphere dismantled and consigned to the crap heap.

those in support of the motion please feel at liberty to leave your human rights below.

Friday, 17 September 2010

pope flash


stop press:

six street-cleaners arrested following covert surveillance operation by mi5 exposing poor standard of condom-clearance

mother vows "never again" to wash head of baby kissed by supreme pontiff

baby lodges complaint of child-abuse (in nappy)

baby arrested for projectile vomit attack on papal-mitre

pope-mobile clamped by westminster council parking enforcement officer

jocelyn jee esien claims she was "only doing job"

pope files complaint of religious discrimination and sexual harrassment against westminster city council

archbishop of canterbury questioned by police following pope-mobile tyre-slashing incident

most reverend rowan williams released on caution by metropolitan police after receiving directions to nearest public convenenience and how to use it

pope fined for failure to wear seat-belt

uk immigration directorate orders pope to attend home office approved college for english language tuition

abbott slams iraq war, but swerves afghanistan


during last night's labour leadership debate (hosted by question time on bbc1), diane abbott, flashing her booty at the old-labour leftwingers, made a great show of dragging tony blair's name through the blood and guts of the iraq invasion and occupation (even going so far as to tag blair as the robin to george bush's batman), yet she observed the fairly obviously pre-choreographed club-convention by contributing to a complete collective failure to take any position on the continuing war-crime which is western intervention in afghanistan. abbott is a di-hard obama-opportunist who will do nothing to jeopardize her proximity to the white house power-distribution process whilst it keeps spinning, and this consideration trumps any allegiance she has to the old white socialist-left-overs - indeed, it is this very lack of commitment to human-rights which will cost the first black champagne socialist chick any real chance of progressing in this election. now don't get me wrong, diane abbott's by far the most compelling and communicative candidate on the list...i'd love our local hypocrite to get the gig, even tho', as a favour to her president, she encouraged the neighbourhood bother-boys 'n -girls to hang around here and mess me about - but my concern is this: if she were eventually to bust her way into number ten, would she be a faithful companion to dick dastardly, if he by some miracle manages to secure re-election on the platform of having achieved sweet fuck-all? you know i'm sorry diane, but you really cannot compare war-criminals, like bush and blair, to well-loved cartoon-heros, you gave yourself away there - believe me, if you ever get into government and, like obama, are passed the baton of brutality only to greedily accept it with a big fat grin, you will suffer far worse comic comparison than the one which i have just insinuated. if we have to have politicians, let them be good politicians - if black politicians have to collaborate in this race-war-mongering hierarchy, let them be good black politicians. the world doesn't need another barack "i'm not black or white, just bad" obama and a wife who, on his birthday, is not able to be by her husband's side because she is too busy doing essential life-saving charity work amongst down-and-out south-london gangsters in exile in marbella - at least the late manipulating power-cow princess di had the gumption to actually go to africa (you know michelle...that place where black people come from to do things for white people) and hold the hands, or stumps, of the children whose lives and families were (and still are) being decimated by the never-ending never-bending world-dictatorship of which she was a willing partner. these guys are a fucking disgrace to the memory of true black civil-rights heros like steve biko - who were real intellectuals with real guts. think my earlier sniggering portrayal of you is inappropriate ms abbott? just rewind the tape of last night's programme and review the part where you were so immersed in snorting at your own joke that you failed to notice the audience was laughing at you, not with you. yes, it can be a terrifying ordeal having every single mistaken moment of your existence recorded, examined and ridiculed by people who don't even know you, can't it diane? i'm sick of it too: your cia goons upstairs who make it their business to log every key i press on the computer, and every call i make on the telephone, are clearly lacking fulfilling careers - but have no fear, in the bling new world, obama and crew will always find such people a gang to belong to and duly allocate them some poor cunt to hound. what a boon.

Thursday, 16 September 2010

this is a comment is free papal-overflow-facility


steve bell on the pope's visit to britain

diane abbott sticks to principles and looks after her own


the latest bout of positive discrimination to afflict the member of parliament for hackney north and stoke newington is, by definition, terminally racist...

in fact, it is the most racist strain of racism to be diagnosed on mainland britain since the spread of the 1976 race relations act - a superbug which is believed to have evolved as a result of the institutional over-prescription of 'n' words during the 1950s and 1960s.

however, at heart, labour leadership contender, diane abbott mp, is herself certainly not racist at all - she is simply a shrewd and seasoned, political operator (who knows precisely on which side her bun is creamed).

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

sarah ndagire: a race oddity


sarah ndagire, a highly respected exponent of traditional ugandan music and afro-jazz, was definitely my favourite amongst the performers who kicked-off this year's london african festival - other artistes who took part in the opening-day at the southbank centre, on friday 10th september 2010, included the legendary chadian rapper, mc solaar, sudanese jazz-fusion vocalist, amira kheir, and dj edu of radio 1 extra. a star of kamapala radio, and superb linguist, sarah's folk-rhythms and melodies thrived on the improvisational afro-jazz-fusion talents of argile, the afro-german band which has invited her on a tour of europe this summer. it was fucking fab - the proof of the pudding being that ugandan home-girls in the audience got up and shook-their-stuff-to-the-beat in sheer arse-wiggling approval.

however, there was, as there always seems to be at such fortuitous events, a sour note - the stuck-up twat with whom i attended this show, and who effectively invited me down to it in the first place, but nevertheless neglected to buy me a drink despite being quite au fait with my completely skint financial situation that day, decided to take exception to the ethnicity of ms ndagire's musicians. well...perhaps next time, instead of going begging-bowl in hand to the white-wizard of oxford, boris de bully johnson, stuck-up twat and stuck-up twat's stinking rich and influential friends might see their way clear to busting-open their unendangered wallets and privately sponsoring an authentic african festival (whatever the heck that may be when it's at home) which specially caters for stuck-up twats like the stuck-up twat who has a penchant for masquerading as my friend. i keep telling the twat: nothing good ever comes of compulsory taxation - which is basically how we end up with an african ticket-only festival (a bit like an english bring-a-bottle party) with the somewhat surreal spectacle of white-men dressed in full african costume playing the drums, wickedly. in light of such blinding ignorance on the twat's part, i suppose i should not have been overly surprised that, on the way home, my inconstant consort topped-off the evening by informing me that i should pay 'taxes' to her gangster brothers in the mafia - hells bells, she keeps expressing a desire to 'collaborate' with me, but i rather reckon she'd do better collaborating with the inland cunting revenue.

ok...fair enough...in a world of ideal music, i would have preferred to have experienced an afro-african ensemble, but all-in-all i'm bloody glad i gate-crashed the mc solaar gig - it was bloody great, as was ms ndagire and her kooky but keen kraut crossovers, and there was never any doubt whatsoever that this celebrated ugandan singer, adorned in her stunning tribal costume, with her fluid african moves and genuine african curves, was anything less than an original african diva. rock on sarah!

Monday, 13 September 2010

spark up! exclusive: palin thinks with pussy


in a rather-more-frank-than-we-frankly-wanted interview with an undercover spark up! special investigator, sarah palin (republican presidential extremely-fucking-hopeful) has today made the startling admission that, despite her strict whites-only conservative upbringing, she now wears democratic blue panties in order to avoid those awkward-to-explain-to-hubby light-brown stains which she claims are the inevitable residue of inspecting president "tight-ass" obama bend-over to pick up the frisky-federal-female vote in a pair of topographically-consistent 'rump-rider' track-pants...

at this crucial juncture, the conversation was curtailed in a most mysterious and abrupt manner, ostensibly due to ms palin having an urgent re-call of nature - which necessitated a three-hour visit to the bidet.

guido fawkes: a subversive subtitle of sky news irrational


paul staines' persistent attempts to spin the coulson phone-tapping story away from the hack-headlights...the distractional spoof of a pre-meditated homophobic attack on william "hard-man" hague (carefully co-ordinated with conservative party headquarters)...addiction to illegal electronic surveillance techniques...

...what further evidence does one require?

oh...of course...unreserved and unsavoury support for slaughter of palestinian civilians in gaza.

Saturday, 11 September 2010

boris's last stand-up


so...why has the big beast of balliol, boris johnson, plumped to run for re-election as mayor of london - and why now? his belayed decision to throw his bike-clips into the ring, coming, as-it-does, hard-on-the-heels of the secret-policeman's ball-breaking phone-tapping scandal, can mean only one thing: the man greased-in to become britain's next prime minister, in 2015, must be far too hotly-implicated in illegal surveillance operations carried out by the murdoch empire - the united kingdom's de facto secret intelligence service, whatever the party in government...

please note that members of parliament are getting their knickers in a rare-old-twist about the criminal ear-wigging and tracking of their phones, but couldn't give a prying-hack about deep-eavesdropping on the lives of private citizens - including those who write blogs.

Thursday, 9 September 2010

a billboard from god


the forthcoming holy barbeque at dove outreach center in gainesville, florida, is not, as has been widely speculated, a desperate initiative by frustrated american authorities to explore alternative fuel-sources, but is, in reality, a spiritual marketing stunt directed by none-other-than the good lord himself, who, never one to miss an opportunity to make peace where there is a storm (and unify his discordant denominations with the single currency of a common purpose), has shrewdly recognized the commercial potential of the international scriptural inferno which this epiphanic auto da fé will inevitably catalyze - in a word, the prophetically peeved pastor is pre-ordained to unleash a textbook evangelical apocalypse of mutually assured testamental and qur'anic desecration which will go forth and multiply the profits of pious publishers across god's own globe in one almighty biblical bonanza...

...although our father in heaven may also forgive me for suspecting that the reverend terry jones has been smoking rather too much gainesville green.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

nicolas sarkozy: the wog who kissed a dog and turned into a frog


as a true-bred englishman, to the untidy-state-of-appearance born, i can readily acknowledge that les français have much to teach us rosbifs about the art of chic understated fashion and subtly under-cooked cuisine - i am, therefore, utterly at a loss to explain our cross-channel cousins' insistence on letting their uncosmopolitan, uncoutured, unbridled racism go completely topless, or rather hang-out like a barbarically bulbous british bitter-belly...whilst, of course, we here, on the immigrant isles, are far more adept at tailoring the socially sophisticated cover-up...well, at any rate our multi-culpable middle-classes manage to put on a pretty good show...

et...ooh là là, and well bugger-me broadside, if la dear 'ole france (a rustic république oft-times ruled by cheeky-charlie frankfurters, nudist norsemen, and kkk krauts) ain't now lorded-over by a common-or-garden hungarian count - oh yea, les randy révolutionaires have now elected their own slick sultan of showbiz, monseigneur sarkozy, to join the razzadaz-ranks of global-gits and conceited-clits, exemplified by the likes of banga berlusconi and orgasmo obama...for, if the truth be told, the united kingdom haven't yet found a suitably star-schmug replacement for tv-tone, the over-glazed god of gogglebox-gabshite, although gordon the granite-grey-grampa did try, bless his blundering-heart...and err...who the fuck is dave?

so, basically, sarko the rotter has taken a sinking-socialist state of hypocrisy, built upon the fundamental tenents of liberté, égalité, et fraternité, and, in the same mediocre manner as so many religious perverts who have gone before him, has united a politically perplexed population in a rich ragoût of raw-root-racial-hatred, avec indigenous crusty old croutons.

first off, the petty-pois president bans the burqa in the hope of undermining islam and securing a slush-sainthood from pope bentedict the brownshirt...then carla career-melon demands that all roma communities be deported because their beautiful soul-twanging ballads make her songs sound worse than the ultra-sonic-screeching of a freaked-out hedgehog...and finally, with considerations of health and safety aforethought, monsieur sarkanova decides to have pregnant african immigrants dragged feet-first from their squats, with the honourable intention of repatriating them to a better standard-of-living in sub-saharan zinc shanty-towns - quite a generous gesture given that he himself got half of them up-the-duff.

par belenos, i wouldn't put it past the defender of the fanny française to railroad ultimate french superhero, astérix le gaulois, back to the sea of grass, kazakhstan - where the celtic warrior's original ancestors lie buried in their pre-historic kurgans.

...and one last little question: when nicolas sarkozy has sent everyone 'back' where they 'belong' - who'll be left?

answer: just himself and tom cruise - with whom the president has no objection to being photographed, largely because the short-arsed scientologist doesn't dwarf him into total obscurity. in conclusion, mr sarkozy, may i draw on the worldly wisdom and teachings of l ron hubbard, and assure you that your short-comings are not in fact genetic, but arise purely as a result of you being a complete cunt.

*nicolas sarkozy: la racaille qui baisa une fille avant de s'en transformer en grenouille.

Wednesday, 1 September 2010

cameron's carnival of complacency


the new coalition carnival 2010 will ultimately receive a sotto voce response at the polls - the big bruv' society, of clegg 'n cameron inc, having successfully subverted the traditional caribbean street-party in london's notting hill, subduing it into silence under a damp down-pillow of diva-policing...for you see, the beat-boys are back in town, with a vicious, virtuous vengeance. under the bravado bourgeois management of mayor boris johnson, the smirking balliol bully, carnival is dead-set on becoming the biggest village-fête in europe - a charmingly confined celebration of tea, cupcakes, cucumber-sandwiches, rasta-ribboned morris-dancing-and-may-pole-prancing...or you'll get yer head kicked-in, by the fuzz-bouncers, init? nevertheless, respect must go out to all the kow-towing community-leaders, without whom this muted multi-cultural masquerade of monotonous menacing blue could never have been achieved - perhaps the privileged petty-powers of parliament feel that the notion of serfs letting-off steam for a day has become obsolete in a liberal society embarrassed by the frustrating freedom to do fuck-all-good for anyone. a seven pm sound-off, leaves the mood of mambo-jambo-without-jets to culminate in a controlled-crash at the fag-end of a festive-funway trimmed by a tactical blackthorn-hedge; banned-from-bogling, but licensed-to-booze, the wronged-throng, unreluctantly-trained to form an orderly queue, descend back into the tube-system, and submit to the gradual creeping-culture of obamafication...save for two lads, spoilt-with-liberty, whose raucous remonstrations found sport with the law, and the law winged them with a clinically executed display of spontaneous synchronized-drubbing, hospitably treating the popping-pair to a short-sharp burst of relentlessly-rehearsed rawhide-racial-rhythms coming-to-conclusion in a concise on-the-cuff crescendo when both gob-smacked guests were overwhelmed to accept the drum-rôle d'honneur - the show over, a select-audience of smattered fans wavered in shell-shock-adulation, straining their saturated-souls to find an appropriate manner in which to express their unrestrained gratitude, some generously donating bottles of iced-cold-beer to quench the ardent auraric thirst of the authorized attention artistes blowing and glowing centre-fold...whilst other have-a-go-gallants turned from confronting the compulsory surreal attraction, and sheepishly accompanied bubbling womenfolk back to their shelters of silk-sheer complacency.