the immigration-factor

x-factor judge, cheryl cole, has denied allowing racism to colour her decision to send home super-talented zimbabwean contestant, gamu nhengu - who, through no fault of her own, has run into some difficulties concerning her immigration status and now faces deportation. cole, who has previous for whacking a nigerian toilet-attendant without holding a recognized degree in deontological ethics, has claimed that she cannot possibly be racist as she was married to a black man - although presumably her participation in this relationship formed a mandatory component of her community service order, as she divorced him when he relapsed into racially-stereotypical behaviour and started putting it around a bit more than she could tolerate. i could also rather ungenerously speculate that ms cole's husband was a normally-narrow-minded-sun-newspaper-reading-brit who was of the common belief that immigration legislation was not in fact inherently racist so long as it did not affect or impede his own indefinite right to reside up cheryl's initial port-of-entry...but i won't...because i gather that he is considerably bigger than me - a fact which i guess swayed the liberal talent-show judge in her decision to jump on his nob in the first instance.

well-i-never...i along with other freedom-to-sing-to-shit-celebrities campaigners have long been arguing that immigration legislation is indeed racist - as it discriminates unfairly against sub-saharan soul-singers - and now it appears that god, in his great and bountiful wisdom, has delivered unto us a scenario which demonstrates, beyond-all-possible-doubt, to even the most tone-deaf of daily mail readers, that a nice girl, with a nice voice, could sadly end up illegally cleaning bogs below the minimum-wage - despite the fact that her mum has made a concerted attempt to integrate into british society by observing traditional national custom and claiming welfare benefits to which she was not strictly-speaking entitled.

may i wish gamu and her mum every success against those conceited cunts at the home office - and i hope and pray that gamu will be permitted to re-enter the competition and get a fair crack at punching cheryl's snotty stuck-up racist face in...

...if however, our prayers are not answered...may i suggest that gamu uses the insanely intense publicity either to secure herself a remunerative recording-contract, or to highlight the injustices of our exploitative immigration system...aside from that i would advise her to pursue her career in the regular pub-and-club venues in order to gain real performance experience...and to completely avoid any more crap celebrity-manufacturing-contests, which, let's face it, ultimately have absolutely nothing to do with natural artistic self-development...and usually degenerate into some international race-row due to the prejudiced nature of the audience and programme producers...

simon cowell just does not deserve to profit from true musicians like gamu...

...and as for officer cheryl...may i wish her a long and fulfilling career in the uk border agency.