britain's phoney war: st gord and the boys who cried gulf

the uk government about to launch another war against yet another intangible adversary

no, not the mythical al qaeda this time around, but the credit crunch, a real fucking monster by all accounts, eats money or something - according, that is, to our financial better-offs, the banks, who reckon its been rampant in their vaults and noshed half the country's economy...so they say

can't we just set a bloody big rat-trap and use gordon brown as bait?

britain's motto seems to be: if there ain't an enemy, invent one

and have him pose quixotically against the backdrop of an existential economic nightmare

first fuck off as many foreigners as possible to make the plot sound plausible though

i know i shouldn't tell you the ending, but i'm sure you've guessed already

bin laden did it

the gold's all bunked under some mountain in afghanistan

that's why we're out there wasting men women and kiddiwinks by the villageful

you know it makes sense

funny

we've been conveniently fabricating foes to satisfy our strategic ambition for a century or so

when the real deal arrives on our doorstep, it's invisible, invincible and insatiable

go on gordon the gladiator, take your social safety net and a trident missile

see if you can do him

where's st fucking george when you need him?