Wednesday 31 July 2013

barack bumps god



in assuming the divine might to kill whomsoever he chooses, to imprison whomsoever he chooses, and to stick his slimy snoop-a-holic nsa nose wherever he so chooses (when it's not browsing up the backside of neo-colonialist corporate america, that is), president barack obama has outscored the long line of powder-parasites who preceded him into the white house and risen on high, elevated in his own shimmering shaft of supreme slam-dunking arrogance, to supersede the most exalted administrative office of the great lord almighty himself.

through the power invested in him by his multi-national host of death-angels, military-intelligence minions, and their battalions of rogue-raiding private-investigators, who snuffle and root their way around the most intimate areas of our lives as they sow their sly seeds of wall-to-wall digital surveillance, this dubiously elected morality-monitor, perched atop the vicious x-factor tree of elite-ethics-evasion, can hear everything, and see everything, that we say, and that we do - he is everywhere, and by virtue of the progressively encroaching micro-technology which he plans to have implanted up every last one of our assholes in some mad mass celebration of holey communication, the great invader will doubtless also soon be in all of us...

...so it now just remains to watch, wait, and wonder, in awestruck absolution, as our great american overlord augustly allows his only conscious son, sergeant bradley manning, a british auxiliary grounded in basic human principles, to be coolly crucified...

...of course, it could have been obama up there before the grand military judge at the fort meade show-trial in maryland, but it appears he bit off more from the big juicy apple of temptation than he cared to spit out again.


71 comments:

indignant welsh woofter said...

spark up, i am most disappointed that you have not granted private manning the courtesy of specifying his exact ethnic origins.

spark up said...

@31 july 2013 22:27

dear mr president, whilst i am flattered that you have taken the time and trouble to respond to my blog-post with a fair point of criticism, i feel that your juvenile choice of pseudonym might well be interpreted by some as a crass act of racially aggravated homophobia precipitated by personal pique. may i hazard a guess that, under a variety of false on-line identities, you've also developed a perverse predilection for stirring up trouble with left-wing feminists on the twitter site in a vain attempt to distract attention from your neo-colonialist outrages and cause gender-polarized infighting amongst factions which would by habit be more productively engaged in opposing your violently exploitative foreign policies?

although i would normally have wished to give due and proper respect to sergeant manning's cambrian heritage, in this current case (as i'm sure you are fully aware), his british citizenship is of legal and political significance, and furthermore, since this piece is directed at a stateside audience, it would be inconsiderate of me to confuse such visitors by referring to an albeit proud celtic country of whose existence they may understandably be wholly ignorant.

a fracking good rumble said...

@spark up

the cia are professional provocateurs who are adept at staging false-flag attacks which cause distractional infighting amongst opposition elements.

odd owl of objection said...

@spark up

as exemplified by the officially-sanctioned murders-by-military which bradley manning sought to expose, the president of the united states and the members of his administration have, despite their fake liberal protestations to the contrary, nothing but cruel contempt for other people's socio-political, religious and sexual cultures - and the arrest, persecution, and subsequent torture of manning simply serve to underline this fact.

like its american counterpart, the slushed-up cia cabal, otherwise known as the british government, also has no respect for cultures which are not in a cosy colonial alignment with its own, and has therefore shown no support for bradley manning's just and humanitarian cause nor raised any voice of concern over his appallingly inhumane treatment - after all, what do cameron and chums care about a welsh homosexual anti-war campaigner?

moreover, in wales, against a bubbling background noise of serious discontent about manning's plight, the labour government which controls the welsh assembly has conscientiously adhered to cia directives and consistently failed to criticize the obama administration's malicious mishandling of the dyfed-bred man's case after he blew the whistle on the ugly nature of american machine-gun diplomacy which lies at the heart of a mash-up-mockery of a democracy.

no wonder we see sarcastic comments such as the one at the top of the page, for any unconnected outsider would reasonably believe the ostensible welsh apathy to derive from an implacable indigenous homophobia - but in fact the grave grassroots of truth show that folk in the communities actually care, whilst it's the homophobic political establishment who couldn't give a half-arsed hoot for common humanity.

blue peter said...

@spark up

may i hazard a guess that, under a variety of false on-line identities, you've also developed a perverse predilection for stirring up trouble with left-wing feminists on the twitter site in a vain attempt to distract attention from your neo-colonialist outrages and cause gender-polarized infighting amongst factions which would by habit be more productively engaged in opposing your violently exploitative foreign policies?

and @a fracking good rumble

yes, if not obama himself, it's the gofers who're at it - and hey presto we have a ready-made excuse to curtail freedom of expression.

desperately popping perry said...

i hear fawkes and his ladyfriend staged a spat for stats...

...in an operation code-named "no pears please we're bananas".

apparently it was all settled after she offered him a couple of mature conferences.

concorde claire aka cascade perry aka clara clapp's favourite aka ms moonglow aka die reife forelle said...

@desperately popping perry

absolutely untrue - actually the whole thing went err...pear-shaped, after i discovered that guido's a sad pervy old cunt...

...but as it happens, mark herpes and i are now joining forces to investigate illegal immigrants engaging in the cyber-porn business. after intensive on-line research, initial results look promising...but mark reckons that every suspect's going to have to get her kit off to ensure he gets a 'rock-hard id' at interview.

you know, mark's very professional when he's on the job, and i'm sure the profiling procedure will work like a treat.

jim mescalina said...

this boy manning's gonna become the greatest political prisoner of all time - bigger than mandela, bigger than aung san suu kyi - he's gonna become a fucking international icon for all those kinda people around the globe who're interested in human rights and all that sorta liberal left-wing stuff, he's gonna be fucking massive, a hero of fucking heros, and it's me and my man obama who fucking made him.

god i feel so fucking proud to be american.

pres obombaklaart said...

gee, great pitch there jim, awesome spin - so this basically means i'm gonna go down in history as the well-meaning motherfucker who, on jesus christ's glorious return to earth to sort shit out, gave him a nice secure place to stay, for life...?

fuck me, now i know why we pay you the big bucks bro'...

...so how much we get from dave the scambag for your transfer fee over to limeyland? hell, did those guys get a bargain or what, man?

arthur d'aley and co - real cunt agent said...

yes, and may i say how i feel most privileged to have been involved in the afore-mentioned historic transaction and to have been given the deepest democratic honour of arranging the finer financial details of the matter. a very reliable little runner, i think you'll find and only one extremely careful owner - an elderly spinster from texas, i believe, who restricted her use of the vehicle in question for occasional conveyance to the local church-house of a sunday.

hilly clitnote said...

@obombaklaart

wow, mr p, this is sure gonna be a great platform for us democrats to run on in the next presidential election...and for this everlasting legacy, i thank you from the bottom of my busting liberal heart.

by the way, which party does jim work for? is that republicans or cia?

reflective tory said...

@hilly clitnote

oh yes, jim's done a fab job for the president over there in the states, and we here in the conservative party certainly hope for some of the unrefined political radiation emitted by this, perhaps his most notable achievement to date, to fall on us here in the uk and energize us also.

a point on which mr obama may care to chew said...

abusing, torturing and imprisoning bradley manning is simply compounding united states war-crimes.

the prosecution team in bradley manning's trial are accusing him of harming relations with foreign states - but surely by bringing the american government down off its high apolcalyptic horse, manning has afforded his country the opportunity of a more equitable relationship with the rest of the world - one which will benefit and enhance international communication immeasurably in that other countries will no longer be gagged by being obliged to suck washington diplomatic cock.

how american foreign policy helps lower cradles into graves said...

@hilly clitnote

yes, in my opinion, the degree of care shown to sergeant manning has been second to none - in fact the obama administration's democratic record is now so rammed with radical christian acts that their party may soon begin to appeal to fundamental republican voters.

campaign to commemorate mary seacole on the fifty-pound-note said...

@spark up

@a fracking good rumble

whilst it is obvious that only ignorant arseholes and cia agents would send deliberately malicious messages to other twitter users, what kind of country have we become where, as a form of protest, it is now deemed illegal to send an ironic bomb-threat to batty empire-fellating feminists who clearly consider the printing of jane austen's image on the ten-pound-note a more valid and pressing issue than publicly pillorying a british government which (via its military and intelligence operations) wilfully facilitates the legal maiming and killing of socially oppressed women and children in the villages of afghanistan and pakistan?

nuclear wordheads disarmament program said...

@campaign to commemorate mary seacole on the fifty-pound-note

what sort of state has this become where people feel the need to make such unpleasant forms of protest? certainly not a civilized one. ironically, in a civilized society, such outbursts would probably be frowned upon but ultimately regarded as the isolated actions of the immature - it is only in the vicious disturbed psyche of our own dysfunctional social elite that laws must be passed in order to counter such puerile stupidity and prevent endemic bullying from taking root.

of course, criminalizing such behaviour will simply exacerbate a problem which a normally adjusted community would historically have put in check with a verbal flurry of basic anglo-saxon criticism.

incidentally, the killings of afghan and pakistani civilians to which you refer are not actually legal.

badmouth bastille said...

@nuclear wordheads disarmament program

this anti-speech legislation is being passed to stifle all verbal criticism of our violently repressive state - when political correctitude prevents normal people from making normal commonplace criticism of government, its chosen favourites, and its policies, they tend to 'blow-up' intellectually, feeling they 'might as well be hung for (stealing) a sheep as well as a lamb'.

are there enough prisons to hold this rapidly-building tidal-bore of speech-criminals?

nice one bradley, nice one son said...

@spark up

oi, never mind the baracks...those imperialist scumbag supporters can call us welshmen any daft names they want, but at the end of the day bradley's one of our own home-boyos, and that's where we want him...home, in the land of song, strange veg and scrums...he's pulled the mighty american pharaoh's plonker good and proper right, and we're all very proud of the lad for his stupendously selfless attempt to put the puffed-up president and his madcap militaristic administration on the straight and narrow conveyor-belt to salvation, thereby setting up the chance of a historic political conversion to world peace...it's like he's scored the most magical try of all time, even topping gareth edward's at cardiff arms park in 1973...you have to understand, he's bigger than bloody merlin now boy...he's a fucking folk-hero...they're starting to sing ballads about the silly bugger at eisteddfod...and when we get him back over here where he really belongs, on his own true spiritual turf, we're all going to jump on him and smother him with big wet sloppy great kisses and hug him to death and vigorously ruffle his hair and...well err all in a strictly non-poofy or gay way obviously...and then we're going to present him with a massive bloody book of shopping-vouchers which he can exchange in any welsh supermarket for a lifetime's supply of leeks...my god, i hope he likes the things? yeah...nothing compares to bradley and nothing will quell our cambrian passion for him and his noble cause...

...and there's nowhere he's got more fans than down here at the jacks' ground in swansea:


we-luv bradley manning,
...we-only luv bradley manning,
...we luv bradley man-ning,
...we-only luv bradley man-ning.



(just not physically, mind)

brian and john (peaceful campaigners) said...

@campaign to commemorate mary seacole on the fifty-pound-note

madam, whilst we humbly respect your campaign to get yourself onto the british fifty-pound-note, we feel we must bring to readers' attention the fact that you were effectively an intrinsic supporter of the british empire, since, in an albeit humanitarian and non-profit-making way, you assisted queen victoria's army.

bradley manning, on the other hand, experienced a moment of conversion on the road to bagdhad which effectively cements his ideological opposition to bloody western imperialism, or if you prefer, neo-colonialism, for good.

we therefore propose that sergeant manning get the spot on the fifty-pound-note (by a short whisker).

the lady with the hump said...

@brian and john (peaceful campaigners)

seconded

mrs obombaklaart said...

@pres obombaklaart

oooh, a real true life saint right here in little old america - how exciting is that now...?

can you make arrangements for me to have an audience with him, honey-pie? please please pretty please. go-on now, i'll do that thing you like me to...mmm...tonight...

chris said...

oops...tricky issue this manning business...some of us obama supporting celebs are going to be caught between a rock and a hard place on this one...

mcdoughnut talent agency said...

anyone for a boycott?

sir elton rubberhands said...

@nice one

mmm yes...i did it for di...i'm sure i can do it brad too...

...now let me see...didi-dodi-dadi-dee...

yes...the chorus seems straightforward enough:

nice one bradley,
nice one son,
nice one bradley let him have it up the bum


...will be right back when i've got the verses worked-out...

later darlings

the lord chantseller said...

@sir elton rubberhands

sounds promising sir rubberhands...

can't wait to hear whom the 'him' refers to...

who knows, if it gets banned by the bbc you could have a hit on your hands mate...

sir elton rubberhand said...

thanks for the moral support lord chartseller, sir...

i'm having second thoughts about the final line of the chorus...

yeah man...perhaps "let's do 'im up the bum" would have more aesthetic integrity and incorporate an ambience of cultural inclusivity...but i'm not absolutely sure about that...

your artistic input would be most appreciated, your honour.

the lordchartseller said...

maybe the more simply expressed:

"do barack up the bum"

would hit the spot and avoid any unfortunate legal ambiguity.

el rubberhand said...

well thanks for that sensitive suggestion lord chartseller, but on reflection i think i will probably stick with the original leitmotiv, which all said and done employs a deeply poignant, delicately observed and liberated metaphor in order to emphasize the fundamental constitutional position of the president at the salutary point when he first received the good news from his sergeant in arms.

the lord chartseller said...

yes, quite...and wonderfully allegorical, if i may say so, el rub.

el rub said...

lord chantseller, why are you now going under the name of chartseller? are you trying to conceal your identity for some reason?

anyway, i've decided to settle on the following chorus version which seems most concisely to encapsulate both the wide spectrum of public sentiment surrounding this issue and the full jist of the story to date:


nice one bradley,
nice one son,
nice one bradley you fucked barack up the bum.



and whilst i pray this meets with general approval, i am also sensitive to the inevitable fact that one cannot please everybody all of the time.

the lord chantseller said...

how about this:

nice one bradley,
nice one son,
nice one bradley,
your cock's up barack's bum
.

sir elton rubberhand said...

genius

spark up said...

interesting take on the things, el rubberhand...what's for sure is that each year bradley manning spends in jail will incrementally increase the embarrassment for the white house - by punishing manning, obama has highlighted his administration's woeful abuse of human rights throughout the world and is creating a rod for his own back with which critical foreign powers will eagerly thrash him.

not only has the president been seen to have abused the rights of non-american citizens, he will now be seen to have abused the rights of his own us citizens.

el rub said...

subject to subtle refinement, i think this is probably the final version:


when obama sent his sarge...off to war with his big sword,
the chief thought...he was riding on a winner,
but when sergeant manning saw...what his sword of truth was for...
he turned round and called his president a sinner.

nice one bradley,
nice one son,
nice one brad
you fucked the president up the bum.


when the sergeant joined the force...he did swear a solemn oath...
to defend his country-people from all foe,
but when manning found the enemy...was his own high command...
he just blew a fuse and charged the chief up too.

nice one bradley,
nice one son,
nice one brad
you fucked old barack up the bum.


when the volt-surge hit her bogs...hilldog's shit gushed out in logs...
and poor manning got the wrong end of a rocket,
but when they brought him up for trial...the bastards couldn't kill his smile...
for his president's dick was still jacked in the socket.

nice one bradley,
nice one son,
nice one brad
you stuck your cock up barack's bum.

nice one bradley,
nice one son,
nice one brad
you fucked obama up the bum.

nice one bradley,
nice one son,
nice one bradley
you fucked barack up the bum.

nice one bradley,
nice one son,
nice one bradley
fuck obama up the bum.

nice one bradley,
nice one son,
nice one bradley,
fuck barack up the bum.



er

spark up said...

just a couple of things i've got to mention el rub...

first, hilly clitnote's lawyers have been on the blower complaining about the use of the style 'hilldog' and want this designation changed back to her properly spelled surname.

second, el rab has agreed to waive all royalties due for the performance of this ballad in favour of donations to the 'free brad now you cunts' campaign which has been set up by hard-as-fuck welsh ex-miners to dig an escape tunnel from dyfed to fort meade - although i hear that during a meeting in the pub last-night other strategies were discussed and some hard-core marxist agitators mooted proposals to use the money to send bradley a super-tanker full of flowers from amsterdam.

el rab said...

@spark up

first, hilly clitnote's lawyers have been on the blower complaining about the use of the style 'hilldog' and want this designation changed back to her properly spelled surname.

ok, 'clinton' it is - we don't want to offend anyone, after all, so take that correction as read.

bingo the bongo man said...

luv the laid-back documentary stlye man, recording the cretative process of conceptual rat actually in progress during the throws of its developmental stages, cool man...kinda spookily reminds me of the 'let it burn' sessions even tho i can't remember what the fucking crap happened back then...far out man...sending big wet kisses out to el rub...share he luv nam...buzz me up if you're short of a drummer, i've got me own kit brother

v for very nice pres thanks said...

hey, el rub, great track, it really rockings, isnit hahaha? if you want me come over and sing verse you call kremlin ok, kgb arrange, no fee, all for charitities, we chuck anna chapmangy in for free to dancing around in her thongy thingy too. hey all you need is luvvies comrade

hey, why i not hear from my best beach buddy barack recently? why we not come together for manly physical one-on-one netball session now? followed by nice pick-nicky in nice flowery meadow on blueberry's hill? why? why? you want visit moscow maybe? have nice cup tea with cia people, maybe you missing staff?

hey come on bazzy wazzy, we let michelle strokes real russian bear's bum and sleep in big four-post honeymoon bed in czar palace. we give her free mink knicker-set and all trappings. then kgb make nice spy-video of undiplomatic night-time activities and we give you as present to take home for souvenir thingy? come on how we break permafrost? my advisor tell me we must again jam. come on bazmo we go on fishing trip in black sea we catch sturgeon, pink salmon, stingray, we put fucking hammerhead shark in there if want to impress first bitch get her squidged up? or maybe you want go stay in remote dacha in boreal forest, get away from problem, hunt big siberian pussy, make tiger belt for mrs, do naughty naked sauna with indigenous volga milkmaids and play roly poly in snow on mountain?

v said...

hey come on b...

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xx xx x x x xxxxx xx x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xxxxxxxxxxxx x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

b said...

hey, you know them milkmaids in the sauna...

...will they be thrashing my ass with birch-twigs an' shit like that...?

v said...

sure guy

b for bugger(ed) said...

ok done...yes we can do anything you want, man - but no kissing, right?

just so long as we've got things straight, buddy.

the lord chantseller said...

charity single update:

sorry, there's been a temporary hold-up in the recording studio and production of the video will be unavoidably delayed until we get a conclusive result in the bitch-fight for the piana between el tonepoem (6 slaps) and paul mcchartnot (3 slaps).

michael dafloss said...

@spark up 8 august 2013 13:26

proposals to use the money to send bradley a super-tanker full of flowers from amsterdam.

well obviously in view of my welsh family connections and my status as a senior white house bumlicker, i'm pretty ripped up over this issue - it's a bit like having to choose between michelle's ass and cathy's tits if you get my drift...

but as far as the flower-arrangement goes, i sincerely trust that the guys do the right thing and choose those cute little yellow trumpety-shaped ones that grow in welsh button-holes.

string (g) - formerly in the fuzz said...

bruv, i'm happy to contribute to the cause - but you see on sensitive eco-spiritual grounds, i can't sing any of the last verse because of the deeply upsetting logging-imagery, man.

anna chapmange said...

@v for very nice pres thanks

fine, i have agreed to take part in the shoot, but only on the condition that my name is spelt correctly in the credits - i've had a word with v for virile and he has apologized for the slip profusely, and after i lent him my outfit and offered to spill his beans he even gave his express permission to choreograph the video in a cathedral...however, i'm a seriously worried about the kit he wants to wear for the strip routine.

bouncy knolls said...

of course, i've been approached to participate in the project, but to be totally honest i feel that the other artists involved are basically a bunch of date-expired has-beens who are simply seeking to re-boost their flopping careers and exploit this tragic situation for purely financial purposes...so i've decided to politely decline the offer...

...however, the cia would like to give the president advanced warning of how the proposed product may pan out when finally released to a worldwide audience, so to give him a rough idea, my husband and i have agreed to pop down the studio to make a banging song and dance demo.

bobbie crowbar of the bolshy ballet said...

(entrez stage left)

tititi tum tee tum tititee tumtitum tititee tititumtitum didulidulum...


gather round, gather round, can i have everyone's attention please...?

now comrades, i've convened this meeting today to address valid concerns which some of you lads have been voicing about rumours currently in circulation which may and i stress may point to the possibility of a certain oriental tambourine lady from new york taking part in this performance...a scenario which in turn promotes further permutations such as even odds on her getting her clappers out. to be fair, i appreciate that feelings is running strong on this issue and indeed it's also been brought to my attention that some of the more elder lads are threatening to walk out in the event of the afore-mentioned scenario actually coming to reality...so in order to circumvent any disruption to our programme and to resolve this dispute, i've instigated discussions with all concerned parties and listened to their respective grievances...and it seems to me, upon due considered reflection, that the basic root of the problem here is that many of you lads feel, quite rightly in my opinion, that an individual belonging to the fairer sex should not be subjected to any form of embarrassment which could conceivably be caused by abstract analogical aspects arising from the lyrical content of this work...and in view of this, i have suggested to the lady in question that she busy herself directing the conceptual flower arrangement on the super-tanker in preparation for its subsequent delivery to bradley manning on the other side of the atlantic (please see spark up @8 august 2013 13:26 for further details), and may i mention that i have have secured the support of mr string in this objective, who has already indicated his predisposition to helping our sister make her vital contribution to the cause, just as soon as he has recorded the sections of music to which he feels a true deep and ecologically sound ethico-spiritual connection. thank you, and i sincerely hope the course of action which i have elected to follow will allay any latent or lurking fears that members may be experiencing regarding this matter.

sorry, must trip along now lads, got a tight schedule to fit into...

tititum tee tum tee tititee tututoo tititee tititum didulidulum...

(sortez stage right)

bobbie crowbar of the bolshy ballet said...

apologies, after further consultations with sister y, it transpires that i have been the unwitting victim of a vicious campaign of misogynistic misinformation organized by a brother whom y has identified as xxxx - sister y strongly denies the suggestion that she would have got her clappers out, and has since confirmed that she only intended to pull out her maracas and shake them about a bit. many thanks to sister y for that top tip-off.

toodaloo, must get back to la barre to perfect my assemblé performance.

pucker lipz now said...

i'm hearing a few whispers on the grapevine about a new movie in which barack obama has been cast to star as a rogue special-forces colonel, originally sent deep into the united states by the african communist brotherhood in order to subdue, civilize, and colonize the indecent capitalist paleface, however the horror of what he sees and experiences there during his tour of duty causes him to flip-out mentally and turn against his own elders-in-command, after which he sets off on a murderous military rampage, slaying and torturing all who oppose his democratic progress, eventually going native and becoming a god to the tribe of narcotically-entranced liberal savages who deify his every bloody thought, word and deed.

according to leaked reports, the story centres around a maverick gay commando who, under orders from generals in the african high-life, and with the unconventional musical assistance of a committed but multi-talented theatrical support troupe, is sent up the potomac river on a suicidal secret mission to exact summery natural justice of the most dramatic kind - apparently, the action all finally climaxes in an almighty great explosion at the evil colonel shirtzleev's remote temple hideaway located in the heart of the urban middle-class american jungle.

i must admit that as yet i'm not precisely sure in which genre this production is going to be billed...

...psycho-thriller, musical, exploitation, action, porn or horror...?

chris cock said...

@pucker lipz now

mmm...yeah...a bio-pic recreating our commander-in-chief's walk on the white-side...

...obviously we've always realized he is actually a white man, ain't we?

operation winfee said...

@chris cock

definitely white

billy cross-b said...

@operation winfee

definitely

pharaoh b obombaklaart - nobble prize winner said...

it's all about adhering to political principles, leading by example, and going out to preach the word abroad...

...that the unconverted from other cultures, who have never experienced the unfathomable love of democracy, might be saved, and know the all-embracing mercy of american values...

...naturally, i'm especially proud of my achievements in the middle-east, where my disciples of decency have spread peace liberally throughout the whole region, and nowhere more so than in the state of egypt, one of my favourite kingdoms.

dirty janglo jay-glo said...

@pucker lipz now

no you have all wrong...obomba not african, obomba not american...obomba man of european originations...

...if meet president, i say him:

come back to fatherland...visit londonium towns...examine root...welcome in humble british hovel-drum...meet real ethnic english bro' and sis' in her majesty reservation...we embrace you like long lost pro-dictatal sonny...you get initiate in traditional indodgenous culture...you join ethically extended east-end gangland family...we live together in ancient council concrete compound...share together traditional skol-supper when huddle round burning ford fiesta...pass traditional herbal skunkweed-spliff of peace...yeah man...we roll out big bar...bun' best "bin-laden"...one love...

...my kebab is your kebab and your kebab is my kebab.

jocelyn jack esien said...

@pucker lipz now

i suppose it hasn't occurred to you vile bunch of fucking inbred sexist wankers that a strapping young woman could conceivably rise to the challenge and fill the roll of commando wellard...?

miss o'hurrigogo - the woman with time on 'er tits said...

mmm...seein' as now one as bin banned frawm competition becorze of the unspawting advantage wot i got from moi illegawly enhanced nips...i imagine i could take a sebatickle frawm training with giraaaaaaffes and give it a shawt...?

dame welly said...

not on your nigerian nelly...this is obviously a wicked ageist conspiracy hatched in hackney...

...stand down bitch.

the toy democracies said...

how can the united states government even contemplate prosecuting and punishing bradley manning in the full knowledge that its own central intelligence agency deliberately allowed this leak to develop, and then, once the intelligence was safely circulating abroad, broke the news worldwide with maximum assistance from its conducive corporate publicity machine.

bradley manning released the low-level confidential files in the genuine belief that he was acting for the greater good as a humanitarian whistle-blower, yet it is inconceivable that his own obsessive scrupulous superiors in the national security agencies could not have been aware of what was in play. bradley manning was manipulated by devious american agents whose big plan clearly was to unleash the catalytic arab spring with the specific intention of using it as political cover to trigger premium-value revolutions in libya and syria, regardless of the terrible cost in human life which the provoked and subterfuge-primed citizens of those countries would pay.

note that, in egypt, when the outcome of revolution was considered undesirable, the american administration and its allies effectively precipitated and sanctioned a counter-revolution in order to restore the old (united-states-funded) military guard to permanent and impervious power - thus rendering the fledgling democracy no more than a mirage brought into perspective as a bloody nightmare.

in europe and north america, where citizens are granted the licence of living in artificial democracies, we are subject to cia-managed elections - in unprivileged countries, without the democratic fold, the people's desperate thirst for change is slaked by cia-managed revolution.

bradley manning is a loyal american citizen, and julian assange an ambitious anti-american activist, but the emotional and political naïveté of both men was mercilessly exploited by ruthless central intelligence agents in need of a disposable messenger whom they could ultimately shoot when they had had their fun playing (with) him.

those in the white house administration who were in charge of united states' foreign intelligence agents of that period must take full responsibility for those agents' actions to promote false-freedom events.

why has the formerly obama-stroking guardian newspaper not sought to defend the human rights of its journalists' partners in court? said...

@the toy democracies

edward snowden has now leaked more 'sensitive' files, the contents of which hold no surprises for foreign intelligence agencies and political activists...

...obama has made a huge song and dance about busting up with president putin, whose agents now routinely share intelligence with their united states counterparts - he doth protest to much methinks...?

although he is obviously a sincere and genuinely committed peace-activist, and certainly no double-agent, the timing of snowden's operation has given additional ammunition to those totalitarinas wishing to make an example of bradley manning and bang him up for life...

...so could this too be yet another cia-managed soft-intelligence-leak overseen by the supercilious and smirking white house chess-players...?

many ordinary people have understood for some time that this intrusively intimate level of government surveillance has been actively authorized, yet the recent revelations have done nothing to retrench the arrogant power assumed by our security agencies - our politicians have simply taken this opportunity to justify a silo-full of illegal investigation, illicit psycho-surveillance, and criminal political harassment, with a grain of legally justified intelligence activity.

skeptic septic think-tank said...

@the toy democracies

@why has the formerly obama-stroking guardian newspaper not sought to defend the human rights of its journalists' partners in court?

very appealing (conspiracy) theories - i conclude that the cia is either a very smart player or completely incompetent...

...or perhaps a very intelligent god is on the side of the big leakers...

...who else could have possibly designed such a perfectly executed anti-power publicity plot...?

...only obama knows.

comrade charlie chipwrapper said...

@why has the formerly obama-stroking guardian newspaper not sought to defend the human rights of its journalists' partners in court?

according to reports last night, there is now legal action underway. your question should have been:

"why did the instinctive obama-arselicker rusbridger not refuse to destroy his own computer-drives and defend his organ's freedom of speech in court?"

alan rusbridger inexplicably caved-in to an empty legal threat by the british government to enforce censorship of the edward snowden case - if this pampered paper editor had refused to comply with cameron's demands, invited the government to initiate legal proceedings, and had then breached court reporting restrictions by personally continuing to report the story, he could theoretically have been arrested. alan rusbridger in handcuffs would have been a fantastic photo-opportunity and a great news-story which would have sold millions of copies of the guardian, but evidently rusbridger doesn't have to show a profit, because his publication and salary is deeply subsidized, and therefore he doesn't feel a strong moral obligation (to himself or his staff) to defend the principle of freedom of speech in the law-courts - the issue is just not commercially critical for him.

doesn't rusbridger realize that government curtailment of press freedom to report details of the snowden story is a far more important issue than could ever be precipitated by any revelation contained within the actual leaked files themselves, which one way or another will eventually find their way into the public arena - let's face it, we all already know we're wading in spookshit up to the eyebrows.

frankly i'm disappointed that the cia didn't have the dramatic vision to stage this whole hoo-ha with a good deal more panache - and thus promote the grand illusion that the leaked intelligence is of high value.

anyhow, all i know for certain is that alan arseblotter lacks radical social commitment and is not a true son of the revolution.

peeping prying pisshead patrol - for the prevention of plastered political impoliteness in public said...

@ms n osey-olcow - the institute of archaeology of contemporary affairs

madam, although i would defend to the death your anti-social right to express such extremist liberal views on the internet, i should warn you that, if i were perhaps to chance upon you in the communal street with an extra-strong-cider-can in one hand, a telescopic camera-lens in the other, and a copy of an illegally-distributed wikileaks dossier hidden in your handbag, i would feel it my duty as an interminably interfering busybody of the general public, to persuade you to desist from the commission, preparation, or instigation of any act of liquor-lubricated snooping or slang-based celeb-sledging, on which possible perpetration you might subconsciously be irrepressibly intent.

ms n osey-olcow - the institute of archaeology of contemporary affairs said...

as a point of etiquettical principle, i do not agree with the wikileaks policy of releasing encrypted 'insurance files' which will only be opened in the event of julian assange being abducted or harmed by the cia - it makes this organization's founder look like a common blackmailer, not-to-mention a manipulative machiavellian megalomaniac.

apparently, there is also an 'insurance file' designated to protect the interests of bradley manning - but i simply can't imagine that a man of manning's integrity and moral calibre would ever endorse this form of dishonourable action or wish in any manner to be associated with those who have engaged in its devising.

surely the best method of weakening the political position and power-base of an evil global oppressor, such as the united states administration, is to promulgate all the goods one has on it, and thus effect complete governmental and social transparency in confluent concordance with wikileaks stated aims.

basically, if the white house has been up to no-good, i think that we the public should be told, and that to keep such matters secret simply puts julian assange and wikileaks in the same disreputable dysfunctional bracket as the ethically peverse and pretentious politicians whom they continually seek to criticize.

i therefore conclude that the afore-outlined course of intelligence-liberating action is indeed the optimal means of assisting sergeant manning in his injudicially long hour of need.

i would like to add, however, that i am not at all a violent individual, but in actual fact a most avid reader and connoisseur of international intrigue, who, it must be admitted, is obsessively curious as to what delightful democratic delicacies of deceit these so-called 'insurance files' contain, and in this respect, and notwithstanding my inestimably profound admiration for the embattled wikileaks leader in question, i am sorely tempted to take the tube down to knightsbridge and personally bump the cunt off in a desperate quest to gratify my insanely insatiable desire for human self-enlightenment.

pisshead patrol - for the prevention of peeping, prying and plastered political impoliteness in public places said...

@ms n osey-olcow - the institute of archaeology of contemporary affairs

madam, although i would defend to the death your anti-social right to express such extremist liberal views on the internet, i should warn you that, if i were perhaps to chance upon you in the communal street with an extra-strong-cider-can in one hand, a telescopic camera-lens in the other, and a copy of an illegally-distributed wikileaks dossier hidden in your handbag, i would feel it my duty as an interminably interfering busybody of the general public, to persuade you to desist from the commission, preparation, or instigation of any act of liquor-lubricated snooping, or slang-based celeb-sledging, on which possible perpetration you might subconsciously be irrepressibly intent.

spark up said...

@pisshead patrol - for the prevention of peeping, prying and plastered political impoliteness in public places

i note, sir, that you are dedicated to upholding public decency...

...may i trust that, in pursuing your campaign, you do not employ either harassment, physical harassment, or violence as methods of persuading others to live up to your own high standards of propriety?

whilst this blog does not condone violence, except in self-defence, we here at spark up! firmly support the right to freedom of expression regardless of the extreme nature of views communicated.

on a related topic, i am totally opposed to the inequitable and oppressive police restrictions which are placed each year on the timing and extent of festivities at the notting hill afro-caribbean carnival - i am surprised that the organizers of this event even submit to this suppression of culture and do not completely cancel the carnival until such time as the community is permitted to freely organize their own security and celebrations. the widespread dissatisfaction with present arrangements inevitably leads to headstrong youths engaging in violent confrontation with the police, who habitually seek to heavy-handedly damp down the fun and then extinguish it in a manner not experienced at non-afro-caribbean festivals. surely the order of the day is to concentrate on celebration rather than violence?

mr indivisive individuality said...

even if the official carnival were to be cancelled, it would happen anyway, unofficially - carnival is a celebration of individual freedom by free individuals.

lady laaardidah of lordship road - senior carnival queen (honorary) said...

i don't why spark up's sucking-up to the jamaicans again? what's he after...? free blow probably...

dream on...

well, although i obviously sympathize with some of his comments on carnival, it seems to me that we caribbeans are really not thinking big enough...

...so i'm starting a petition on change.org...

here's how i've responded to the questions on the first page:


1. whom do you want to petition?

the international olympic committee

2. what do you want them to do?

stage the olympic games in jamaica - holding each different event on a separate caribbean island

why is this important?

because the international olympic committee has historically discriminated against small islands


yes...so anyway, who says the games have to be held in precisely the same location?

the cornish fastie said...

@lady laaardidah of lordship road - senior carnival queen (honorary)

yeah seen...maximum respeck...

she in dem blocks man...

go baby go

lady laaardidah of lordship road said...

@the cornish fastie

oooh...mmm...you're so yummy i could eat you hun

lady laaardidah of lordship road said...

now let me see...first remove wrapping...then place in pre-heated oven for twenty minutes...

..that should do the job nicely