Friday 20 August 2010

cameron to encourage teenagers to get stoned


in an innovative bid to reduce the billions of pounds of public-money spent on training and equipping the united kingdom's armed-forces (and then finding them some mad cunt to fight), the prime minister has today announced that the taliban are to lose the lucrative contract for exterminating our delinquent work-shy younger generation, and instead says he plans to make the british yute pay for their own orgiastic 18-30 holidays to the caspian riviera, in iran, where the authorities will be more than happy to oblige by stoning the whole fucking fornicating crew to death for free.

president mahmoud ahmadinejad has cordially welcomed the proposals, enthusing that they usher in a "new era" of anglo-iranian relations - adding that he looked forward to the day when his country would be fully-admitted to the nuclear family, and he would personally be given the nod by the british government to push the button and finish the fucking job off properly.

4 comments:

the flash prince of hot-air said...

they love mosques
they love mosques not
they love mosques
they love mosques not...

to build or not to build: that is the question:
whether 'tis nobler in the mind to sling up a purely mental metaphysical mosque wot no-one can actually see,
or rather build a real pointy-looking one right next to ground-zero and thus commit instant motherfuckin' politically-correct hari kari?

anyways...best not build it too high, i suppose...or some bloody bonkers jihadist's gonna devoutly fly his fuckin' jet in for friday fuckin' prayers, and we're gonna end-up having to invade another motherfuckin' godforsaken fundamentalist fuckin' country full of fuckin' bad-assed bandits and highly-fuckin'-armed hillbillies...errr...like the...errr...united states...for example...

missile obama said...

04:34

ya motherfuckin' dozy great pointless 'fuckin pillock

mrs fuckit said...

yes, a most informative and well expressed report, spark up...i must write to david cameron and congratulate him (in the most florid and fancy terms) on dreaming-up such an imaginative all-encompassing solution to the two age-old yet inescapably inter-linked problems of world peace and lazy little over-sexed runts.

spark up said...

09:36

less fucking, more fixing please, mrs